How to Fill the Well as a Writer

New York Times bestselling author Joan Johnston talks about the need for writers to "give yourself the opportunity to fill the well so you have something to write about," in the latest issue of Romance Writers Report. I found this so inspiring. Writers cave up, have endless deadlines, and tell victory stories about how many days in a row it's been since they've showered. Many of us, no matter our endeavors, stick our noses to the grindstones and then proudly compare how little nose we have left.

Stop it. Fill the well. Writers, if the only world you have to write about is the Bermuda Triangle of your desk-couch-fridge, I'm sorry but that book is not going to sell. Everyone else, you know you need to go have a good time.

Here are ways I like to #fillthewell. I've included A TON of links. I hope they help you discover your own inspiration!

Museums

I'm a huge fan of museum gazing in the winter time because you get shelter, exercise, and inspiration for a modest price. Here in the D.C.-area, where we have an embarrassment of museum riches, many of our museums are free. A friend and I recently went to the Smithsonian's Freer|Sackler, which has an incredible collection of Asian art. There we saw Buddhas and Chinese wine cups and dazzling Indian jewelry and the beautifully carved heads of pharaohs. Did you know that some Buddhists venerated a Lord of Burning Desire? I didn't either. But that's the kind of useful inspiration you can get when you go to your local museum.

Aizen Myoo, the Lord of Burning Desire, “avatar of sacred lust...recognizes and emphasizes the disruptive power of sexual passion” against evil.

Volunteering

My responsibilities as a volunteer force me to step away from my writer's desk and provide that glow that comes with giving time instead of getting paid for it. I've served as a docent at the Hillwood Museum in northwest D.C. for a year and that beautiful house and gardens have provided so much inspiration. I've learned a ton about strong women who can buy their own fancy houses, about the joy of sharing what you know with others, and about the pleasure of strolling through a greenhouse dripping with orchids and pretending -- just for a second -- that it belongs to you. 

Tomorrow come celebrate the oncoming spring with La Chandeleur or Crepe Day at Hillwood. Enjoy crepes, decorate your own version of priceless porcelain, and let me show you some of our incredible French treasures when I give a family-focused gallery talk at 10:30 and tours at 11:30 and 1:30. Come join me!

Booze

I want to insert this in here before I give the impression that I only enjoy heady pursuits. I like booze. I like to learn about the origin and creation of various alcohols, I like to read about burgeoning alcohol trends, I like to experiment with my own concoctions, and I like to have long-winded conversations about how cocktails are made. And I like to drink them. One of my favorite places to do all of the above is the Dogwood Tavern. Dogwood is the kind of place where the bartenders remember you, remember your drink of choice, make it spectacularly, and whip up a concoction with you if you catch them when it's slow. They'll also give you a pleasing nickname if you're a regular. Ours is "Angeleter."

Drew's Bulleit Rye Old-Fashioned

Wine

I also enjoy wine. This is my stepfather's fault. In 2009, my parents bought a 6.5-acre property in Sonoma County's Russian River Valley and started Gantz Family Vineyards. Suddenly I, who'd had a passing interest in wine, was part of a family that grew Pinot Noir grapes in one of the premiere Pinot Noir regions in the country. Things got much, much worse when they asked me to help them market the vineyard, and suddenly I had to learn about wine and winegrape growing in order to be able to communicate vaguely intelligently about it for their website and social media. This window into this incredible world helped inspire my latest book, The Billionaire's Prince, and the follow-up book that I'll begin in February. Here in D.C., my go-to spot for getting educated (and inspired) about wine is the the Capital Wine School. I rave more about it here.

Gantz Family Vineyards

Friends

I love my husband and my kids and my family. But I would be nothing without my friends. My friends are a wonderful pressure valve from the rest of my life, and whether they provide me tips on the writing industry or help me understand my kids better or share in a laugh and a glass of wine, they inspire me and help calm me so I can be open to inspiration. Some of my dearest friends can inspire you, too!

• Parenting coach Paige Trevor - Paige and I bonded over a shared love of this Jonathan Rhys Meyers lip bite 15 years ago and we've never looked back. Through classes, seminars, and one-on-one sessions, she helps parents understand the connection between an organized house and a calm and content family. As a Certified Parent Educator with PEP, Paige has trained over 1500 parents in the Washington, D.C.- area. Her weekly blog, Nifty Tips, is a funny, heartfelt, tough-love dose of realistic parenting advice.

• Author Sharon Wray - Sharon is the most generous soul I know, and a large portion of the romance writing world would agree with me. Sharon is a fount of selfless information and good cheer and believed in me as a writer when I didn't believe in myself. Her book, Every Deep Desire, a genre-bending romantic suspense reunion story set in Georgia swamps that hide a deeper, darker world, will come out on March 6.

• Life coach Wendy Reed - Wendy is the dear friend who introduced me to the concept of "living with intention." Living with intention means you live life proactively -- you choose to pursue a career as a creative professional or flirt more with your husband or be patient with your children -- rather than living life reactively, getting batted along the path that life chooses. Wendy is now taking this philosophy into her work as a professional life coach, helping people discover their own intentional life and then helping them figure out how to make it a reality.

Podcasts

Not all of my filling of the well is done out and about. I spend an impressive amount of time luxuriating in my pajamas and yoga pants. Podcasts give me inspiration when I'm emptying the dishwasher or walking the dog. My three recent favorites are:

• The Thirst Aid Kit - "Thirsting," as used by these brilliant hosts, is the act of desiring, crushing, lusting from afar that women do so well. This podcast honors that thirst -- an act that has sustained the movie industry and keeps the publishing industry afloat -- with intelligent, diversity-aware, and screamingly funny conversations about the people we thirst for and why.

• Girl in Space - Girl in Space is an audio drama about a girl in space, written and performed by a girl. This act should not seem so revolutionary. And yet this podcast has such a unique, interesting, wise, and funny point of view of sci-fi and space travel and story telling that it does seem revolutionary.

• The Wicked Wallflowers Club - I have been endlessly tweeting about this new podcast devoted to taking the shame out of romance reading. As I've said endlessly on Twitter, this podcast is like grabbing a coffee with your favorite author and smartest friends and talking about what makes romance novels great.

Please share your favorite ways to #FillTheWell in the comment box below. Fill free to include links, too, if you've got them. I love sharing the inspiration!

Inspiring Words for Writers

The day-to-day grind of completing a book can sometimes leave me little time or energy for seeking inspiration. That sounds counterintuitive, but that's just the sad way my process works. But now, in the lovely lull between books, finding and absorbing inspiration is an imperative -- especially as my brain turns from "creating" to "marketing", which can be such an oppressive process.

Here are some of the recent books and articles I've discovered to me keep focused on how lucky I am to be a writer -- and away from such words as "grind," "sad," and "oppressive."

"Reaching the Next Rung," Romance Writers Report, Jan. 2018

Several authors are quoted in this article from the January 2018 issue of the Romance Writers of America magazine, but my favorite advice came from bestselling author Joan Johnston. Joan offers great actionable advice for a long-term career:

• Schedule your time so writing is a priority.

• Make personal contacts with agents and editors who attend conferences.

• Form a review crew to post digital reviews of your novel. (I'd never heard of his before. Contact me if you're interested.)

• Do a newsletter at least once a month to stay in touch with readers.

She also says:

"You must give yourself the opportunity to fill the well so you have something to write about."

This is so obvious, but with demands of writing, marketing, working, and taking care of the family and the house, so easily forgotten. It reminded me to embrace the fun in my life as necessary. #Fillthewell is my new favorite social media hashtag.

Be the Gateway, A Practical Guide to Sharing Your Creative Work and Engaging an Audience by Dan Blank

I'm a longtime fan of author coach Dan Blank, who's great at offering advice that's tough yet caring for the creative spirit. This book about marketing for creative professionals blew my mind.

"Be the gateway. ... Instead of selling a product in a marketplace, you become the gateway for how your work can shape the world the world for others and inspire them."

The thesis of this book is that rather than focusing on the sell of your creative work, focus on sharing the messages that are important to you. Dan points out that, through our creative efforts, we've created this amazing conduit for sharing the beliefs that shape us. Don't waste that conduit on screaming about the 99-cent sale. Instead, share what you're passionate about. By framing the world for others in ways they can identify with or find value in, we create advocates. People don't want "deals;" they want to believe in something.

Dan puts it simply:

"Tell me about the conversations you would love to be having with others."

Mind blown. I could suddenly see my social media, marketing, newsletters, etc., as an opportunity instead of a burden. I made a list of the themes that are important to me: strong women and the confident men who love them that way, discovering your integral self, enthusiasm and compassion for a diverse world, the grandeur and value of healthy romantic partnerships, the value of filling the well... The list goes on

With Dan's practical tips on how to implement his mind-blowing ideas, I look forward to indoctrinating all of you.

Pep Talks for Writers, 52 Insight and Actions to Boost Your Creative Mojo by Grant Faulkner

Grant Faulkner, the Executive Director of National Novel Writing Month, helps support the dreams and energies of almost 400,000 writers who participate in November's writing sprint. So he knows a lot about pep talks.

He's a dedicated writer himself; we worked at the same newspaper in our 20s and when my husband and I invited him out for a weekend brunch, he said no because he had to stay home and write. In Pep Talk's 52 short and inspiring chapters with titles like "Make Your Creativity into a Routine," "Fail Often...Fail Better," and "Persisting Through Rejection," he's able to pair his passion and skill for writing with practical, soul-enriching advice.

"Approaching the world with a creative mindset is wildly transforming--because suddenly you're not accepting the world as it's delivered to you, but living through your vision of life."

He's an advocate for the creator and speaks to the person who needs to keep their feet on the ground (or their ass in the seat) when their head is in the clouds. I love this paragraph about finding your own inspiration:

"...You are the all-powerful God that sends those words--those story-igniting lightning bolts--into a world that's coming to life before your own eyes. You are your own muse."

The Wise Heart, A Guide to the Universal Teaching of Buddhist Psychology by Jack Kornfield

After a tough second semester in college, my son came home early last spring. I desperately needed to get out of my head, out of my anxiety and worry, and a dear friend handed me this book.

The Wise Heart is a wonderful way to reset. Instead of thinking that we can control everything and that all of our beliefs are true, psychologist Jack Kornfield helps guide you through Buddhist teachings that help you think bigger, more holistically, and a little softer.

We think so many things horrible things about ourselves, and for authors, that can be especially true: We're not writing enough, we're not marketing enough, we're not getting any better, everything we do sucks. This book helps you to be kinder and more compassionate to yourself and the people around you. A phrase he asks you to recite, that I think can be especially effective for the author:

May I be held in compassion. May my pain and sorrow be eased. My I be at peace.

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I'm always looking for inspiration.

Please tell me about a recent book, song, movie, painting, comic, or squiggle on the sidewalk that inspired you.