Cursing Ben's Chili Bowl in Virginia

Oh…damn you Ben’s Chili Bowl. You’re evil is what you are. My taste buds were thrilled and my waistline was terrified when I discovered that there would be a branch of the famous D.C. diner opening in Arlington, on my side of the Potomac. How would I resist the thick, spicy half-smokes smothered in Ben's chili when I no longer had close-to-impossible parking or a two-train Metro ride separating me from them?

When I visited the restaurant at 1725 Wilson Boulevard in Clarendon a few weeks ago, it was even worse than I feared:

• The store is bright and clean and welcoming, a spruced up version of its U Street forefather.
• They take credit cards. No more squinting at the ancient ATM machine at the original, cash-only Ben's OR forgoing the chili cheese fries because I don't have enough cash. 
• The Arlington branch has lots of indoor and outdoor seating and you can sit wherever you'd like, unlike the bizarre hierarchy of seating that will get you charmingly yelled at if you sit at the wrong place at the original spot.
• No one yells at you in Arlington.
• The parking lot of the Colonial Village Shopping Center with its many popular restaurants can get a little crowded during prime dining hours, but there is a lot of accessible on-street parking nearby.

Worst of all, I discovered that the one-of-a-kind half smokes and the spicy, condiment-like chili were just as delectable on this side of the river. The shakes were just as spoon-standing thick and the chili-cheese fries were just as deliciously gluttonous. What have you done to me, Ben's Chili Bowl? My waistline may never forgive you.

Ben's Chili Bowl in Arlington

Ben's Wall of Fame

All the Charm of the Original Ben's

The Famous Half-Smoke

Coney Dog and Chili-Cheese Fries

Welcome to Ben's

Chili Cookoff at Clarendon Day

Next Saturday, Sept. 27, Clarendon Day will descend on Arlington, Virginia with eight stuffed blocks of fun. A 10K, bands, beer, a Kids Zone, arts-and-crafts vendors and a ton of food will all be a part of making 11 a.m. to 5 p.m. fun.

But I would like to direct your attention to the new Lagunitas Chili Cookoff Stage where -- under the new 100-seat tent -- beer will flow from the Lagunitas beer garden, bands will rock, and our dear friend Thad Halcli will once again go toe-to-toe with other chili greats at the DC Chili Cookoff.

Last year was the first year the former DC Chili Cookoff -- once a rowdy, beer-soaked festival in the District -- was held at Clarendon Day. That beer-and-band free-for-all was what first got Thad hooked on the idea of cooking chili for competition. A digital marketer and filmmaker who always had a flair for cooking, Thad began entering area chili cookoffs in 2000 with a schtick: His young daughter and a friend would dress as cowgirls and do a little dance for the crowd. They called their booth, "Two-Step Chili."

Joe and Thad, Rage Against the Cuisine.

Now that young daughter is a college student. Thad and longtime friend Joe Duffus now produce red and green chills under the name "Rage Against the Cuisine."  

Do you have any idea how much work goes into producing chili for these competitions? I didn't. First of all, competitors are under a strict set of rules about what can and CANNOT go into a chili. "It's a very specific Texas-style chili," Thad said. "There can be no beans, no pasta. At some point, when the generations change, I hope the idea of chili will be a little bit broader than it is now."

Secondly, competitors have to provide all of their own equipment to cook at the competition and their setup has to be up to health code standards. That means providing stoves, burners, pans, coolers, water, ways to sanitize, ways to keep your meats and veggies separate, ways to serve it, tents, and trailers to haul the whole set up there and away. "It's like you're bringing your own mini-food truck," Thad said.

Lastly, all that chili served to the judges and all those little cups of chili that you, the eager taste-tester, can try -- that's all at the expense of the participants. Thad said competitions used to offer a small stipend to help cover participants' costs for the chili they would serve eventgoers. No longer. 

"It can be exhilarating if you win," Thad said. "But if you fail, you come back dragging dogeared."

Thad knows that exhilaration. Rage Against the Cuisine has placed second through fifth all around the region. Once, at a Maryland chili cook off, they tied for first. But a toss of a coin determined that the other team would move on to the World Championship competition.

He's hoping to have another shot at it this year. "I'm a relentless competitor, no matter what I'm doing," Thad said. "But these competitions, they're also a way to be outdoors on a nice day, hanging out with your buddy and drinking a beer."

He likes the DC Chili Cookoff's transition from a beer-laden spectacle -- public nudity and booths manned by strippers were a common sight -- to a more family-friendly event. He and his daughter always attended Clarendon Day, even before the cookoff moved there. 

"Clarendon Day is a classic street fair," he said. "There are a lot of family activities and stages for music. It is always on my list as a fun thing to do."

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Clarendon Day

Saturday, September 27, 2014; 11 a.m. to 5 p.m.; Clarendon Boulevard and Wilson Boulevard between Washington and Highland, Arlington, VA