How to Fill the Well as a Writer

New York Times bestselling author Joan Johnston talks about the need for writers to "give yourself the opportunity to fill the well so you have something to write about," in the latest issue of Romance Writers Report. I found this so inspiring. Writers cave up, have endless deadlines, and tell victory stories about how many days in a row it's been since they've showered. Many of us, no matter our endeavors, stick our noses to the grindstones and then proudly compare how little nose we have left.

Stop it. Fill the well. Writers, if the only world you have to write about is the Bermuda Triangle of your desk-couch-fridge, I'm sorry but that book is not going to sell. Everyone else, you know you need to go have a good time.

Here are ways I like to #fillthewell. I've included A TON of links. I hope they help you discover your own inspiration!

Museums

I'm a huge fan of museum gazing in the winter time because you get shelter, exercise, and inspiration for a modest price. Here in the D.C.-area, where we have an embarrassment of museum riches, many of our museums are free. A friend and I recently went to the Smithsonian's Freer|Sackler, which has an incredible collection of Asian art. There we saw Buddhas and Chinese wine cups and dazzling Indian jewelry and the beautifully carved heads of pharaohs. Did you know that some Buddhists venerated a Lord of Burning Desire? I didn't either. But that's the kind of useful inspiration you can get when you go to your local museum.

Aizen Myoo, the Lord of Burning Desire, “avatar of sacred lust...recognizes and emphasizes the disruptive power of sexual passion” against evil.

Volunteering

My responsibilities as a volunteer force me to step away from my writer's desk and provide that glow that comes with giving time instead of getting paid for it. I've served as a docent at the Hillwood Museum in northwest D.C. for a year and that beautiful house and gardens have provided so much inspiration. I've learned a ton about strong women who can buy their own fancy houses, about the joy of sharing what you know with others, and about the pleasure of strolling through a greenhouse dripping with orchids and pretending -- just for a second -- that it belongs to you. 

Tomorrow come celebrate the oncoming spring with La Chandeleur or Crepe Day at Hillwood. Enjoy crepes, decorate your own version of priceless porcelain, and let me show you some of our incredible French treasures when I give a family-focused gallery talk at 10:30 and tours at 11:30 and 1:30. Come join me!

Booze

I want to insert this in here before I give the impression that I only enjoy heady pursuits. I like booze. I like to learn about the origin and creation of various alcohols, I like to read about burgeoning alcohol trends, I like to experiment with my own concoctions, and I like to have long-winded conversations about how cocktails are made. And I like to drink them. One of my favorite places to do all of the above is the Dogwood Tavern. Dogwood is the kind of place where the bartenders remember you, remember your drink of choice, make it spectacularly, and whip up a concoction with you if you catch them when it's slow. They'll also give you a pleasing nickname if you're a regular. Ours is "Angeleter."

Drew's Bulleit Rye Old-Fashioned

Wine

I also enjoy wine. This is my stepfather's fault. In 2009, my parents bought a 6.5-acre property in Sonoma County's Russian River Valley and started Gantz Family Vineyards. Suddenly I, who'd had a passing interest in wine, was part of a family that grew Pinot Noir grapes in one of the premiere Pinot Noir regions in the country. Things got much, much worse when they asked me to help them market the vineyard, and suddenly I had to learn about wine and winegrape growing in order to be able to communicate vaguely intelligently about it for their website and social media. This window into this incredible world helped inspire my latest book, The Billionaire's Prince, and the follow-up book that I'll begin in February. Here in D.C., my go-to spot for getting educated (and inspired) about wine is the the Capital Wine School. I rave more about it here.

Gantz Family Vineyards

Friends

I love my husband and my kids and my family. But I would be nothing without my friends. My friends are a wonderful pressure valve from the rest of my life, and whether they provide me tips on the writing industry or help me understand my kids better or share in a laugh and a glass of wine, they inspire me and help calm me so I can be open to inspiration. Some of my dearest friends can inspire you, too!

• Parenting coach Paige Trevor - Paige and I bonded over a shared love of this Jonathan Rhys Meyers lip bite 15 years ago and we've never looked back. Through classes, seminars, and one-on-one sessions, she helps parents understand the connection between an organized house and a calm and content family. As a Certified Parent Educator with PEP, Paige has trained over 1500 parents in the Washington, D.C.- area. Her weekly blog, Nifty Tips, is a funny, heartfelt, tough-love dose of realistic parenting advice.

• Author Sharon Wray - Sharon is the most generous soul I know, and a large portion of the romance writing world would agree with me. Sharon is a fount of selfless information and good cheer and believed in me as a writer when I didn't believe in myself. Her book, Every Deep Desire, a genre-bending romantic suspense reunion story set in Georgia swamps that hide a deeper, darker world, will come out on March 6.

• Life coach Wendy Reed - Wendy is the dear friend who introduced me to the concept of "living with intention." Living with intention means you live life proactively -- you choose to pursue a career as a creative professional or flirt more with your husband or be patient with your children -- rather than living life reactively, getting batted along the path that life chooses. Wendy is now taking this philosophy into her work as a professional life coach, helping people discover their own intentional life and then helping them figure out how to make it a reality.

Podcasts

Not all of my filling of the well is done out and about. I spend an impressive amount of time luxuriating in my pajamas and yoga pants. Podcasts give me inspiration when I'm emptying the dishwasher or walking the dog. My three recent favorites are:

• The Thirst Aid Kit - "Thirsting," as used by these brilliant hosts, is the act of desiring, crushing, lusting from afar that women do so well. This podcast honors that thirst -- an act that has sustained the movie industry and keeps the publishing industry afloat -- with intelligent, diversity-aware, and screamingly funny conversations about the people we thirst for and why.

• Girl in Space - Girl in Space is an audio drama about a girl in space, written and performed by a girl. This act should not seem so revolutionary. And yet this podcast has such a unique, interesting, wise, and funny point of view of sci-fi and space travel and story telling that it does seem revolutionary.

• The Wicked Wallflowers Club - I have been endlessly tweeting about this new podcast devoted to taking the shame out of romance reading. As I've said endlessly on Twitter, this podcast is like grabbing a coffee with your favorite author and smartest friends and talking about what makes romance novels great.

Please share your favorite ways to #FillTheWell in the comment box below. Fill free to include links, too, if you've got them. I love sharing the inspiration!

Tysons Fall Harvest

Today I'm introducing a new category to my blog: "I Will If I Can," a Thursday post about a fun event or activity I hope to get to on the weekend if my busy life allows it. Maybe you'll have better luck than me!!

This Saturday and Sunday, in a continued effort to make the Tysons Corner area livable as well as workable, the Tysons Fall Harvest Festival will offer kid-fun activities like a hay maze, a petting zoo and pumpkin carving, and an adult-fun wine and beer garden offering 75 beers and wines. Horton Vineyards, Arterra Wines and Willowcroft Farm Vineyards will be there, as well as Mad Fox Brewing and Woodchuck Hard Cider.

If you haven't tried out the Silver Line yet, this will be the perfect opportunity to do so. The Tysons Corner stop lets out right at the event space between the Tysons Corner Mall and the Galleria.

Image from Tysons Fall Harvest website

Heading to any fun events this weekend in the D.C.-metro area? Any events you'd like to promote or support? I'd love to hear about them on my Facebook page. Let's create a list of fun weekend "to-dos" for folks!

Map to In-Between Fun in the DMV

I've decided to mark today's 20th blog post (YEAH!!) by adding a new map feature to the site. Pinterest allows me to track the locations where I've had fun in the DMV, and will help you loyal In-Between readers find fun and adventure close to where you live. I will continue to update the map as I discover new places, so make sure to check back often (the link will always be to the right in the sidebar).

Click photo to find fun, In Between activities close to home.

Thank you to everyone who has commented on this site, emailed or interacted with me on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest and Instagram. I love knowing that I've inspired some of you or helped you discover a new piece of this great community we live in. Please keep sending me your In-Between suggestions or pointing me toward museums, restaurants or activities you'd like me to investigate. Here's to aging gracefully and having a great time while we do it!

Have a fun place you'd like to recommend for an In Between in D.C. blog post? Please tell me about it in the comments below.

Refining Your Going-Out Palate at Capital Wine School

As I've gotten older, my enthusiasm for going out hasn't waned, but my enjoyment of the passive entertainment of a bar, a restaurant or a movie certainly has. Repetition breeds boredom. I want to engage, to do something, to even possibly learn something while I’m spending my pennies out and about in the world.

Wine expert Michael Franz chats with students after class

The Capital Wine School provides the chance for an engaging night out with classes that allow you to meet interesting people, learn something new and taste fabulous wines. 

In Northwest D.C., throwing distance from Bethesda near the Mazza Gallerie, the Capital Wine School offers a variety of two-hour evening classes that explore all facets of wine knowledge. You can learn about Pinot Noirs from different parts of the world or you can explore the characteristics that make the wines of Bordeaux, Tuscany or Washington great. You can even take an introductory class that helps you understand wine better and eases the panic when you’re handed the wine list at a restaurant.

Jay Youmans

The Capital Wine School was started by Jay Youmans who is A) Washington, D.C.’s only Master of Wine and one of only 30 in the U.S., and B) one of the nicest guys you could ever meet. Well known in the wine world, Jay helps to train professionals in the wine industry at Capital Wine School with wine business classes and master classes for sommeliers.

He also taught two beginner classes that I took: Introduction to Wine Basics and the three-part Wine Basics: Comparing Grapes, Regions and Styles. As a newbie, getting instruction from someone with his depth of knowledge was a real honor. But neither he nor my "Secret Spain" wine class instructor, Michael Franz (editor of Wine Review Online and wine writer for the Washington Post until 2005) made me feel like I’d better be glad I was receiving such an honor.

What I’ve appreciated most about the Capital Wine School experience (besides incredible 1 oz-ish tastings of wine) is the lack of the pretension that you can run into in the wine world. Sommeliers, tasting room hosts and – the worst of them all – wine drinkers who fashion themselves "experts" can sometimes be complete butts. But the Wine School’s experienced instructors work hard to engage new wine drinkers, draw out honest opinions and share what they know for the benefit of the student.

The classes are held in a room above a dance studio, so the muted rhythms of salsa or hip hop will sometimes accompany your wine tasting class. Long tables face the instructor and clean glasses are arranged in front of each seat, ready for a pour. These are tasting classes, and while I seldom want to waste the incredible eight or more pours we get, I generally drive there and must get home. Small buckets are available for spitting or dumping your glass, and you’re encouraged to use them, if you’d like. Or you could metro and plan on a nice dinner after.

The classes aren’t cheap at $65-$85 per person for the two-hour tasting courses. But I paid that much for a concert ticket last week, and I certainly walk away from the wine class with more than a t-shirt. The class schedule is limited in the summer, but picks up again in September. I have my eye on two upcoming classes: Comparative Tasting of Pinot Noirs from Around the World on Nov. 29 and Michael Franz’s Eight Favorite Champagnes on Dec. 6.

I’m emailing my husband right now to let him know I’ve got a perfect night out all ready for us.

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Capital Wine School

5207 Wisconsin Ave., Washington, DC 20015

In-Between Tip: Take advantage of the Capital Wine School's location just a couple of blocks south of Friendship Heights Metro station and take the Metro there. Then after your class, try one of the multitude of restaurants this area on the border between Washington, D.C., and Bethesda, Md., has to offer.

Want to discover more interesting and fun going-out activities in the DMV? Make sure to subscribe to In Between in D.C., where I post twice a week about fun things to do for us 40-55-year-old In-Betweeners.

Out-of-the-Box Date Night at the Mosaic District

There are times when going out for dinner and a movie with your significant other can be as depressing as spending a Saturday night at home. It’s the predictability of the event, entering a boxy restaurant for food, then a boxy theater for entertainment. A late night yawn, a tired drive home, then bed.

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Strawberry Park at the Mosaic District

Dinner and a movie at the Mosaic District in Fairfax, Virginia is a wide-open, exploratory event with lots of opportunities for surprise, whimsy and fun. One of the biggest surprises is its location: this vibrant, architecturally interesting, walkable “urban district” is just outside the Beltway off Lee Highway, among one-story industrial parks and retail centers that need a facelift. The developers -- who also developed Union Market in D.C. -- had a vision when they pictured this place here.

Chock-full of distinctive restaurants, interesting retail stores and opportunities for fun – a piano on the sidewalk, a giant chessboard, an outdoor movie screen – the Mosaic District makes sure that once you’ve parked your car in their multi-story lot for your dinner-and-a-movie date, you won’t need it again until you’ve thoroughly enjoyed yourself.

Dinner

Romantic dining – Put on your fancy clothes and head to Four Sisters Vietnamese Restaurant or Sea Pearl for an elegant meal with a nice bottle of wine. Call for a reservation at Four Sisters if you intend to be on time for the movie; its 23 years in business and move from Seven Corners hasn’t detracted from its popularity. With ocean-blue walls and lovely seafood presentations, Sea Pearl is a pretty date spot.

A cocktail at Matchbox

Fun dining – Matchbox and Cyclone Anaya’s Mexican Kitchen offer a meal that’s a little more raucous and booze-oriented. While Matchbox restaurants are proliferating like bunnies all over the DMV, I have yet to find one that disappoints with their inventive cocktails, great beer selection, re-interpreted bar food and super-cool interiors. Cyclone Anaya’s have margaritas as big as your head.

Casual dining – The Mosaic offers lots of quick bites that are easy on the wallet: Cava Mezze Grill (referred to as the “Chipotle” of Mediterranean food on Yelp), Sweetgreen (salads), and Taylor Gourmet (subs) are all interesting grab, eat and go food options right across the street from the movie theater. If you want to go even more casual, have an impromptu picnic on the green in front of the theater. Go to Red Apron Butcher for truly astonishing sandwiches or to Le Pain Quotidien for a baguette and other picnic fixings.

Movie

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Indoors – The Angelika Film Center throws the tired idea of a boxy movie theater with sticky floors and insolent teen employees into the trash. A three-tiered cinema temple of glass and gleaming wood, the Angelika honors the fact that adults are shelling out big bucks to see a movie these days and makes it a true experience. The theater offers a coffee bar and pastries downstairs, beer and gourmet hotdogs on the theater level, and a bar – yes, a bar – on the top floor. You can buy an entire bottle of wine at the bar and take it into the theater with you. You select your seats ahead of time and take your time getting there, rather than fighting to snatch a seat like animals. And when you amble into your movie with your bottle of wine and your gourmet hot dog, the theater – generally filled with adults – is as quiet as a tomb. My love for this place knows no bounds.

Outdoors – Or maybe you’re not as crotchety as I am and would enjoy a little people watching and children laughing and summer breezing as you enjoy your movie. The Mosiac hosts summer movies every Friday night on its ginormous outdoor screen at Strawberry Park, the wide green space just outside the Angelika Film Center. Apollo 13 is playing tonight.

After the Movie

The fact that the Mosaic District has provided so many incentives to stroll, relax and wander is my favorite aspect of the place. Don't head to your car after the movie. Take a second to enjoy this area and the amazing partner at your side.

• Have a delicious drip coffee at the glass-enclosed coffee shop, Dolcezza in the Park.
• Stroll the wide sidewalks and window shop at stores like Anthropologie, South Moon Under and Paper Source. 
• Get you feet wet in the rainbow-colored fountain in Strawberry Park.
• Enjoy post-movie gelato at Dolcezza.
• Play the piano on District Avenue.
• Indulge in the cocktail you didn't have before the movie at Matchbox or Sea Pearl.
• Play a game of chess on the giant chessboard in Strawberry Park.
• Dance to the bands playing in Glass Alley every Saturday evening from 7/26-8/23 at the Summer Block Party, with food and drink provided by Red Apron Butcher.

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Take this handy map with you to explore all the fun of the MOSAIC DISTRICT

In-Between Tip: If you’re approaching the Mosiac District from the East, you’ll be tempted to turn left at Gallows Road and then right to enter the shopping area. Don’t! You’ll be snarled in pedestrian traffic that makes everyone testy. Instead, stay on Lee Highway until you hit the next light at Eskridge Road. This left and the next two lefts into the Market Garage are effortless and will prevent you from starting your night out in a bad mood.

Have favorite dinner-and-a-movie places? I would love to explore places that make this tired date night fun. Tell me about them on my Facebook page or in the comments below.

#NoAlcohol Blogs

I like the sauce.

I like cocktails and Bourbon neat and a nice Pinot Noir and a cold Bud on a hot day. I like to make herb-infused simple syrups and visit whiskey distilleries and take classes that help me distinguish between a Rhone Valley Syrah and a South Australian Shiraz. I have an academic appreciation for alcohol as well as an appreciation for its soothing effects at the end of a long day.

Part of the reason I started this blog was to give potential employers in the wine, spirit and hospitality industries a sampling of my writing ability. So I’m going to be writing a lot about alcohol; four of my seven blogs have already focused on it. But I've also embraced this mission to discover fun activities for those of us 40-55, and I don't want to give the impression that our fun is dependent on having a drink in hand.

I was in the produce section of Trader Joe’s once. The scent of the limes hit me when I passed them. Instantly I thought of margaritas and relaxing Friday afternoons, and I was flooded with happy endorphins. And while that seems like a fun story, the fact that the smell of a lime made me think of a drink, and the fact that the drink signaled happiness to my system freaked me out. I took a month off of drinking.

There are those In-Betweeners who – because of health or moral reasons, or sometimes, because of a long, hard fight – have decided not to drink. I want this blog to give non-drinking In-Betweeners options as well

My grandmother, the bad-ass drug and alcohol counselor, Mary Lopez

My grandmother, Mary Lopez, is almost two-times her in-between years, but she likes to have fun. She likes to garden and go fishing and play the slot machines and every now and then, she’ll have a beer on the back deck. She's not a teetotaler, but she has every right to be: My grandfather’s alcoholism pushed her into raising six children essentially on her own. She ironed shirts and cleaned houses until the counselors at the Al-Anon meetings she attended noticed she had a real knack at getting people to listen to her. They helped her get her GED and then her degree. My grandmother became a powerhouse drug-and-alcohol counselor in the southeastern Kansas town where she lives.

In honor of my bad-ass grandmother, Mary Lopez, I'm launching the hashtag #NoAlcohol, which will signal blogs that are alcohol-free. (This blog, technically, does not count since I lavishly describe drinks above). Some will be blogs about locations where alcohol is available but not the point of the place, like the 9:30 Club, and I'll need your help in determining if that's okay. I figure I have to give myself that caveat -- we went to Hershey Park recently and they serve beer -- or I'd have very few #NoAlcohol places to recommend. Which reminds me again that In-Betweeners who have chosen to avoid a drinking lifestyle might feel they have limited options. I want to make sure this blog gives them some.

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Favorite #NoAlcohol To-Dos in the DMV

Check out my Pinterest board for more #NoAlcohol to-dos

Union Market - This newly launched indoor urban market near Gallaudet University is brimming with people and vitality, and while some of the cool eateries serve beer and spirits, there are tons of other things -- mini pies from Ris, spices from Bazaar Spices, the incredible Bulgogi Steak Tacos at TaKorean -- to try.

U.S. Botanic Garden or U.S. National Arboretum - While the many free museums of the D.C.-metro area are an obvious choice for an engaging and alcohol-free to do, these two plant-focused museums are a feast for the senses. The Botanic Garden's many-stories-high Conservatory allows you to enjoy the warmth and plants of the tropics in January, and the U.S. Arboretum in northeast D.C. is a 466-acre sanctuary of tree groves and herb gardens and koi ponds.

Victory Comics - This big and bright comic book store in Falls Church is a great way to appease your fandom for a day. Check out the retro-toys near the front celebrating your favorite characters, spend hours perusing through their massive collection of comics and graphic novels, or wander back into the large game room and join a Dungeons and Dragons game.

1st Stage Theatre - 1st Stage doesn't serve alcohol. We know; we headed to the lounge at intermission and were disappointed. But what this theater tucked into an industrial park in Tysons Corner does offer is some fantastic drama and comedy in a black-box setting. We saw "Never the Sinner," a play about the murderers Leopold and Loeb, and were completely awed at the power the play produced with so few actors and props. "Bat Boy: The Musical" runs until June 22. 

Billy Goat Trail - You will find that this 4.7-mile hike along the Potomac River in Potomac, Maryland, is aptly named as you climb up and clamber over rocks like a billy goat. The trail is close-in, easy to get to, very popular, and usually crowded. And totally worth doing. 

For more #NoAlcohol options, check out my ever-expanding Pinterest board #NoAlcohol To-Dos in the DMV