5 Tips for Writing Love Scenes That Matter

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“Lopez …makes a profound statement about being an American amid absolutely mind-blowing sex scenes. It’s her ability to balance these lascivious passages with pointed, meaningful storytelling that sets her work apart and makes her a writer worth returning to again and again.”--Maureen Lee Lenker, Entertainment Weekly

I like sex scenes. Before I began writing, sex scenes were my favorite part of the book. They were what I would read over and over again, as you can tell by the bends in my paperbacks. It’s easy to dismiss this as horny inclinations, but that would too easily dismiss the value and distinctiveness of the romance novel genre.

In mysteries, we love the unwinding of the whodunnit. In horror novels, we love the slow creep down the hall to the terrifying reveal. These books create a feeling that readers sign up for when they buy them.

A great romance novel captures the visceral sensation of falling in love. It is a sensation that has launched a thousand ships and sent people into murder and madness. It is not to be trivialized. Many authors, myself included, consider physical chemistry and lust part and parcel to falling in love. Great sex scenes aren’t just about inserting tab A into slot B. Great sex scenes capture all the mystery and majesty of touching the person you will spend the rest of your life with. Done well, all the high emotion and relinquishing of self and terror and hope and stumbling and flying of falling in love can happen in a sex scene.

No pressure, right?

Because I value and respect sex scenes, I’ve worked hard to make them powerful, compelling, and emotionally resonating in my books. In my course How to Write Love Scenes That Matter, I teach others how to do so as well. If you don’t have time for a writing workshop, here are 5 tips to writing sex scenes that matter….

Make characters’ sexual selves as distinctive as the rest of them

You know your characters’ eye colors, jobs, thoughts about themselves, thoughts about their world, religion, favorite foods, etc. Their thoughts about sex, about themselves as sexual creatures, and how they approach the act is as distinctive as the rest of them. We do such a disservice to our characters and to our readers when we make every hero a growly alpha and every heroine an inexperienced virgin who effortlessly orgasms. Think through how their lives and upbringings inform their sexual selves, and how it repels and compliments the partner you’ve created for them.

In my debut book Lush Money, my billionaire businesswoman and the prince she tries to buy are powerful, epically attractive, sexually experienced, and overwhelmingly confident. When they first have sex, it’s like a clash of the titans, with both of them warring for the upper hand. However, they’re both good people with deep wounds who crave to be loved, and this vulnerability and tenderness toward each other comes into play in the bedroom way before they’re willing to let it show in real life.

What’s the conflict? 

The goal, motivation and conflict of every chapter in your book should also be included in your sex scenes. Especially the conflict. What is the complication they’re trying to overcome in every sex scene and how does the sex raise the stakes when they’re out of bed?

In After Hours on Milagro Street, insta-lust and insta-bedding in this opposites-attract book lays the conflict for the first half of the book. The hero’s quick orgasm gives my heroine, who admires him even though she doesn’t want to, something to poke to keep him ten yards back. He’s helplessly attracted to the fierce bartender even though he doesn’t want to be. The sex is the conflict.

In Serving Sin, my CEO businesswoman desperately wants to be touched by the bodyguard prince, and the prince desperately wants to touch her, even though he doesn’t believe he is worthy. This conflict is addressed in the first scene of physical intimacy, when he kisses her exposed back to let her know how bad he wants her, but then begs her to leave so he won’t take it further.

The conflicts that make our books page-turners should also be included in our sex scenes.

Use The characters’ surroundings

If your sex scene starts becoming rote, if it feels too focused on body positions and movement, one easy way to solve this is to open up the characters’ and the readers’ senses to the surroundings. The soft linen sheets, the moonlight above the farm field, the sound of the ocean waves beyond their beach blanket, and the smell of cotton candy rising up to where they are on the ferris wheel are all details you can use to ground the physicality of the sex scene and make the scene unique to your book and characters. Even while they make love, they can interact with that world. The linen sheets can be too soft, too slick, so they go to the floor to get some traction. The moonlight can expose what they’re trying to keep secret. The sound of the ocean waves can make them happily start singing the Beach Boys while they’re doing it, and the smell of cotton candy can make him ravenous for the sugar fix of her.

In Hate Crush, my rock-star hero meets my princess winemaker in a giant wine vat that she’s cleaning. Soon, they’re having sex against the hard steel wall. Their kisses echo off the metal surfaces, her skimpy jeans short and half t-shirt she wears for cleaning are effortlessly pushed aside, the brush broom she was using to scrub clatters to the ground in their fervor, and later, when the necessary discomfort settles in, she realizes she has to re-sterilize the tank after what they’ve done and rejects his offer to help. The interior of the wine vat informed their sex scene.

Take chances with stereotypical gender roles

In writing alpha heroines, I guess I do this a lot in my writing, so perhaps this isn’t a tip that will work for everyone. However, staying away from the seemingly concrete gender roles so often assigned to cis heterosexual couples in romance beds is a way to make your sex scenes unique and distinctive. The man doesn’t have to be a growly dominant. The woman doesn’t have to be led.

In the initial sex scenes in Hate Crush and After Hours on Milagro Street, my heroes orgasm very fast, overwhelmed by their desire for the heroine. I loved showing their vulnerability this way, as well as showing their determination to please the heroine outside of intercourse.

The threat of a quick orgasm comes up again in Hate Crush, which is a second-chance romance, when they reunite years later. It is a way for me to underline how deeply my slutty rock star, who’s slept with A LOT of people, is affected by this one princess. In After Hours Milagro Street, when my hero tries to return the favor of the orgasm with his fingers, my bad-ass bartender heroine is like, “You know what, I got this,” and masturbates on top of him. It underlines how this is only a wham-bam-thank-you-sir for her, which she is allowed to enjoy. These scenes gain emotional resonance later in the book which she apologizes for making fun of him, tells him how much she enjoyed his passion for her, and he shows her that he has the powers to drive her crazy as well.

Playing with gender roles in bed is FUN!

Include the themes of your book in your sex scenes

I’m a pantser, not a planner, so the themes of my books don’t reveal themselves until I’ve finished writing the first draft. Still, the beliefs and issues my characters struggle with in the book so often reveal themselves in the sex scenes. If the characters are hard in the world, but wish to love and be loved, let the bedroom be the place where readers can see that transformation. If they feel misunderstood, let understanding grow in the love scenes. If they are self-punishing, let their partner show them how they are worthy.

In Full Moon Over Freedom, my alpha heroine has just divorced a narcissist, and returns to her hometown with her confidence pulled out from underneath her. There she runs into the childhood friend who became the young man who taught her about sex. What better way for her to get her confidence about her body and sexuality back than to have a summer romp with this bad-boy-turned-artist? Through the course of their sexual interactions, we see Gillian’s journey to regain her sexuality and how Nicky helps her re-claim her sense of self.

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sign up now for my live, online course, How to Write Love Scenes That Matter

What's coming in 2025

My new logo

Welp. It’s 2025.

I’ve been absent on social media since the election. I’m finding it impossible to write stories about strong women and worthy men when the majority of white men voted to oppress and white women and Latino men voted for their oppressors. 

It’s hard to believe in HEA’s right now. 

So what’s next? I’m still writing. I’m working on book about a Chicana teen in the late 90s seeking vengeance. Working on this book has been intensely fulfilling during these dark days. Obviously, this is a new direction for me, but one that I hope will provide the notice and income that romance publishing didn’t provide. 

In 2023, I fired my agent and walked away from a really lousy contract. I hope the third book in the Milagro Street series sees the light of day one day. But I couldn’t keep working as hard as I was with so little support, recognition, or effort to sell my work from my publisher and agent. I was also demoralized by romance readers’ continued resistance to reading stories by authors of color. 

I hold deep gratitude to everyone who loved my books, shared them, and reviewed them. Without you, the last five years would’ve felt like a failure.

I don’t know when romance and I will see eye to eye again. Anything can happen and I’m holding space for anything to happen while updating those of you loyal enough to subscribe to my blog or check out my website. I hope some of you will come with me as my writing career expands to encompass other genres. 

In the meantime, I still have books you can buy. I still have events happening. As you can see below, I still have many ideas percolating. For the romance writers out there, aspiring or otherwise, I’d love to get your thoughts, if you’d participate in a short survey. I’m doing what I can to fill the uncertain future with new opportunities. 

 As always, thank you for your support,

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Would you be interested in taking a sex scene writing course from me?

I’ve been slowly putting together a workshop titled:

How to write sex scenes readers (and your book) can’t live without

Readers have always seemed to find my love scenes effective (heh), and in this era of censorship and purity culture, it feels like an act of resistance to teach people how to write pulse-pounding sex scenes that are as important to the plot as the climax (heh!). 

I’m sorry. I’m 12. 

If you’d be interested in taking such a course from me, please fill out the short survey in the link below…

6 tips for writing your first draft

There is nothing more daunting than a blank page.

Although the book I’ve just turned in to my editor — Full Moon Over Freedom, Book 2 in the Milagro Street series — is the fifth book I’ve written for publication, the blank page I’m staring at as I begin to cogitate Book 3 is no less daunting.

Maybe, on November 1, you’ll also be staring at a blank page as you embark on NaNoWriMo? For the uninitiated, National Novel Writing Month is when writers strive to write 50,000 words in November. It’s an ode to the fast draft. I was honored to be invited this summer to be a counselor at Camp NaNoWriMo, which is a calmer effort in April and July to meet a word-count goal that you set.

Here are six tips that I provided my campers about writing that intimidating first draft.

Keep your most creative time sacrosanct for writing

When do your words flow best? First thing in the morning, middle of the night, after a nap? Discover your most creatively productive time then — as much as real life allows — protect that time for your writing. Lock your office door, disconnect your computer from the internet, and ignore your emails. The success you gain from writing during your most productive time will help you maintain momentum. This was an “of course, duh” piece of writing advice I got from the phenomenal writing coach, Dan Blank.

Say “yes, and…” not “no” while writing your first draft

You have plenty of time to edit, revise, and align something for the market. You first draft is your opportunity to let your voice and creativity flourish. Say “yes, and…” to your wild ideas and bonkers inclinations. Follow where they lead; don’t shut them down. The uniqueness of your voice is what will lead to your publishing success, and you unlock that voice by letting it sing.

Write your first draft like a horse wearing blinders

Whether you plot or write by the seat of your pants, write your first draft looking forward not back. Gnarly things happen to a writer — like never finishing a book — when they’re constantly trying to tinker. Trust that will get to know your characters, theme, and plot by writing it, and that you can sharpen and alter in the subsequent drafts. Embrace the fact that your first draft will be meandering, but you will learn so much by taking the journey.

Stuck? Step away from your computer

Taking a walk is writing. Heading down to the coffee pot is writing. Showering is writing. Emptying the dishwasher is writing. Your brain will continue to work on your story even when you’re not at the keyboard. So if you’ve been working on the same sentence and it’s not going anywhere, step away for five-ten-fifteen minutes (set a timer so the break doesn’t become the end of your writing time), let your brain relax, then go back to the writing. You’ll be surprised how quickly you’ll solve what was ailing you.

Trust your process

I just finished my fifth book for publication and I still had to tell myself this. I know what works for me — a couple of weeks research before I start, a bare outline, pantsing a book, knowing the book will strengthen in tone, theme, and character development in revisions. But I still have moments when I’m certain my career is over. Figure out the writing process that works for you, don’t worry about what others tell you is the “right” way to do it, and trust that your process will deliver you a book that you’re in love with.

Lean into your word-count goals and deadlines

What’s nice about NaNoWriMo and Camp NaNoWriMo is that they are goal-oriented months that end. So for those month — November, April, or July — let your goal dictate how you spend your free time. Let it be the excuse you use for your RSVPs. Let it be a word count you put in your daily calendar. Instead of being the inspiration killers so many people think they are, goals and deadlines can actually be helpful guardrails that aim you where you want to go. In his book, Pep Talks for Writers, Grant Faulkner calls them “the most important concepts in living the artistic life.”

Limit your time on social media.

As a professional author, I have found nothing more motivation-stealing than social media. If you are a developing writer, I urge you to limit the amount of time you spend in the social media book world. Like literally, set a 15-minute timer. Find out what’s happening in your genre and market, then get out. Listen to your gut about what you’re going to believe in terms of advice and trends. And don’t let it sap your writing joy.

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Want to get a sneak peek at
Full Moon Over Freedom?

*Cover placeholder. Cover reveal coming soon!

When the newly divorced Juliana “Gillian” Armstead-Bancroft has to return to her small Kansas hometown for the summer, she runs into the childhood friend and bad boy she hoped to never see again. Discover what happens when the once-perfect East Coast wife and mom gets her groove back with the small-town-boy-turned-artist who taught her how!

Get a taste of Full Moon Over Freedom, follow-up to the critically acclaimed After Hours on Milagro Street, in the September newsletter. Sign up now!

How to Fill the Well as a Writer

New York Times bestselling author Joan Johnston talks about the need for writers to "give yourself the opportunity to fill the well so you have something to write about," in the latest issue of Romance Writers Report. I found this so inspiring. Writers cave up, have endless deadlines, and tell victory stories about how many days in a row it's been since they've showered. Many of us, no matter our endeavors, stick our noses to the grindstones and then proudly compare how little nose we have left.

Stop it. Fill the well. Writers, if the only world you have to write about is the Bermuda Triangle of your desk-couch-fridge, I'm sorry but that book is not going to sell. Everyone else, you know you need to go have a good time.

Here are ways I like to #fillthewell. I've included A TON of links. I hope they help you discover your own inspiration!

Museums

I'm a huge fan of museum gazing in the winter time because you get shelter, exercise, and inspiration for a modest price. Here in the D.C.-area, where we have an embarrassment of museum riches, many of our museums are free. A friend and I recently went to the Smithsonian's Freer|Sackler, which has an incredible collection of Asian art. There we saw Buddhas and Chinese wine cups and dazzling Indian jewelry and the beautifully carved heads of pharaohs. Did you know that some Buddhists venerated a Lord of Burning Desire? I didn't either. But that's the kind of useful inspiration you can get when you go to your local museum.

Aizen Myoo, the Lord of Burning Desire, “avatar of sacred lust...recognizes and emphasizes the disruptive power of sexual passion” against evil.

Volunteering

My responsibilities as a volunteer force me to step away from my writer's desk and provide that glow that comes with giving time instead of getting paid for it. I've served as a docent at the Hillwood Museum in northwest D.C. for a year and that beautiful house and gardens have provided so much inspiration. I've learned a ton about strong women who can buy their own fancy houses, about the joy of sharing what you know with others, and about the pleasure of strolling through a greenhouse dripping with orchids and pretending -- just for a second -- that it belongs to you. 

Tomorrow come celebrate the oncoming spring with La Chandeleur or Crepe Day at Hillwood. Enjoy crepes, decorate your own version of priceless porcelain, and let me show you some of our incredible French treasures when I give a family-focused gallery talk at 10:30 and tours at 11:30 and 1:30. Come join me!

Booze

I want to insert this in here before I give the impression that I only enjoy heady pursuits. I like booze. I like to learn about the origin and creation of various alcohols, I like to read about burgeoning alcohol trends, I like to experiment with my own concoctions, and I like to have long-winded conversations about how cocktails are made. And I like to drink them. One of my favorite places to do all of the above is the Dogwood Tavern. Dogwood is the kind of place where the bartenders remember you, remember your drink of choice, make it spectacularly, and whip up a concoction with you if you catch them when it's slow. They'll also give you a pleasing nickname if you're a regular. Ours is "Angeleter."

Drew's Bulleit Rye Old-Fashioned

Wine

I also enjoy wine. This is my stepfather's fault. In 2009, my parents bought a 6.5-acre property in Sonoma County's Russian River Valley and started Gantz Family Vineyards. Suddenly I, who'd had a passing interest in wine, was part of a family that grew Pinot Noir grapes in one of the premiere Pinot Noir regions in the country. Things got much, much worse when they asked me to help them market the vineyard, and suddenly I had to learn about wine and winegrape growing in order to be able to communicate vaguely intelligently about it for their website and social media. This window into this incredible world helped inspire my latest book, The Billionaire's Prince, and the follow-up book that I'll begin in February. Here in D.C., my go-to spot for getting educated (and inspired) about wine is the the Capital Wine School. I rave more about it here.

Gantz Family Vineyards

Friends

I love my husband and my kids and my family. But I would be nothing without my friends. My friends are a wonderful pressure valve from the rest of my life, and whether they provide me tips on the writing industry or help me understand my kids better or share in a laugh and a glass of wine, they inspire me and help calm me so I can be open to inspiration. Some of my dearest friends can inspire you, too!

• Parenting coach Paige Trevor - Paige and I bonded over a shared love of this Jonathan Rhys Meyers lip bite 15 years ago and we've never looked back. Through classes, seminars, and one-on-one sessions, she helps parents understand the connection between an organized house and a calm and content family. As a Certified Parent Educator with PEP, Paige has trained over 1500 parents in the Washington, D.C.- area. Her weekly blog, Nifty Tips, is a funny, heartfelt, tough-love dose of realistic parenting advice.

• Author Sharon Wray - Sharon is the most generous soul I know, and a large portion of the romance writing world would agree with me. Sharon is a fount of selfless information and good cheer and believed in me as a writer when I didn't believe in myself. Her book, Every Deep Desire, a genre-bending romantic suspense reunion story set in Georgia swamps that hide a deeper, darker world, will come out on March 6.

• Life coach Wendy Reed - Wendy is the dear friend who introduced me to the concept of "living with intention." Living with intention means you live life proactively -- you choose to pursue a career as a creative professional or flirt more with your husband or be patient with your children -- rather than living life reactively, getting batted along the path that life chooses. Wendy is now taking this philosophy into her work as a professional life coach, helping people discover their own intentional life and then helping them figure out how to make it a reality.

Podcasts

Not all of my filling of the well is done out and about. I spend an impressive amount of time luxuriating in my pajamas and yoga pants. Podcasts give me inspiration when I'm emptying the dishwasher or walking the dog. My three recent favorites are:

• The Thirst Aid Kit - "Thirsting," as used by these brilliant hosts, is the act of desiring, crushing, lusting from afar that women do so well. This podcast honors that thirst -- an act that has sustained the movie industry and keeps the publishing industry afloat -- with intelligent, diversity-aware, and screamingly funny conversations about the people we thirst for and why.

• Girl in Space - Girl in Space is an audio drama about a girl in space, written and performed by a girl. This act should not seem so revolutionary. And yet this podcast has such a unique, interesting, wise, and funny point of view of sci-fi and space travel and story telling that it does seem revolutionary.

• The Wicked Wallflowers Club - I have been endlessly tweeting about this new podcast devoted to taking the shame out of romance reading. As I've said endlessly on Twitter, this podcast is like grabbing a coffee with your favorite author and smartest friends and talking about what makes romance novels great.

Please share your favorite ways to #FillTheWell in the comment box below. Fill free to include links, too, if you've got them. I love sharing the inspiration!

What to Ask An Agent Before You Sign

Imagine getting "the call": an agent calls and offers to represent you. After you scream and cry and run around the house, what do you ask the agent to make sure that this is the person with whom you can entrust your career?

I had no idea, either. 

With a completed book under my belt and a full manuscript out to agents, I realized I needed to be better prepared. So I took to Facebook, where I'm connected to a supportive and information-rich network of authors thanks to my years of membership with the Washington Romance Writers of DC, and asked the following question:

Below are some of the phenomenal answers. Romance and fantasy author Fallon DeMornay pointed me to this fantastic blog from her agent, Jim McCarthy of Dystel, Goderich & Bourret, and many of the questions are from that truly helpful article.

• Why do you believe in my work?

• What is your plan to build my career beyond this first novel?

• How involved will you get in revisions before you submit it to an editor?

• What about my book did you respond to?

• How much revision do you think will be necessary? Are you expecting minimal changes or a major rewrite?

• What's your editorial style?

• How long have you been with your agency? What support do you have in your agency? What connections do you have to the romance world?

• How many clients do you have?

• What is your typical response time to email/phone calls?

• How do you like to communicate (email vs. phone)? And how often do you communicate during a submission?

• What happens if you don't sell this book? Revise? Something new? Part ways?

• How many editors do you go to before giving up? How does your submission process work?

• What percentage of projects that you sign do you sell?

• How long is your average client relationship?

• Who do you work with to sell foreign/film rights? Do you handle contracts? Rights? If not, who does?

• What does your agency agreement look like?

• Can I speak to one or two of your clients about their experiences working with you?

Historical romance author Sally MacKenzie also shared with me a blog she'd written about choosing an agent. She has wonderful suggestions for things to consider before you sign on the dotted line.

Did I want an agent who read my work and gave me editorial feedback or one who considered her job only to sell? Was it important to me to be with a Big Name Agency? Would I mind being a small fish in a big pond? Would I care if I didn’t work with my Big Name Agent but with her assistant instead? How did I want to communicate with my agent—snail mail, phone, email—and how quickly did I want to hear back from her? Was she based in New York City—and did I think her location was at all important? Did I care if my agent was male or female?

I still plan to do all the screaming and crying and running if and when I get "the call." But thanks to some dear friends, I'm better armed to make sure that the agent I sign with can help me keep my dream going.

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Want to learn more about the writing journey from unpublished to (hopefully) published?

What I Learned In The 7 Years Between Completing Novels

Update, January 2020: I wrote this soon after I completed The Billionaire’s Prince, Now Titled Lush MOney and Available now. What an incredible journey it’s been!

In 2011, I finished a book. I sweated over it, I celebrated it, I won a contest with it, and then, when I received, like, eight rejections for it (I'm not kidding), I threw it under the proverbial bed and declared that I was done with fiction writing.

Perhaps I wasn't quite as dramatic as all that, but it still wasn't pretty.

Now, seven years later, after starting a successful freelance business that forced me to write quickly and daily, after discovering the joys of writing serially to enthusiastic fans on Wattpad, and after completing a 50,000-word fanfic and a short story that I'm incredibly proud of, I've completed another book.

On Dec. 18, 2017, I gave myself the Christmas present of completing The Billionaire's Prince (now titled Lush Money), a story about a sexy female billionaire who strikes a bargain with a prince. In return for three nights a month in his bed, she will give him enough money to save his kingdom. All she wants is three nights a month in his bed for a year. And his heir.

I know. Juicy.

Everything has changed about the world of romance fiction since 2011. Fortunately, everything about how I write has changed, too.

I'm a "yes-er" instead of a "no-er."

I remember sitting at the back of the room at a Washington Romance Writers' retreat, arms crossed, as Angela James of Carina Press, Harlequin's digital-first imprint, told us about the future of online books. This would have been...2009? My girlfriend and I declared that we would NEVER limit our beautiful books to the digital world.

Yep, I said that.

My tiny little mind has grown beyond those early limitations and now I'm excited about what technology has offered us storytellers. The scrolling panels of online comics, the serial pacing of reader/writer platforms like Wattpad and Radish, and the "let's throw it at the wall and see what sticks" mode of modern-day storytelling have taught me the freedom unleashed by technology. Our ability to tell a story in a way that best meets the needs of that story is only limited by our imagination. And our stubbornly crossed arms.

I've turned down my perfectionist knob.

I became a docent at the Hillwood Museum in Washington, D.C., this year, and during my training, our brilliant instructors shared with us the concept of "good but growing." Professional athletes at the top of their field don't rest on their laurels, they explained. Instead, they continue to work and train.

I found this concept revolutionary.

Instead of trying to become the "perfect" author, I should look at myself as "good but growing." I will always be learning. I will always be training and changing.  And instead of assessing the work through the lens of "perfect," I should think of its "keeps and changes." What should be kept? What should be changed? This assessment takes away (somewhat) the sting of objective criticism.

More importantly, this whole concept of "good but growing" keeps me from trying to reach the imprisoning retirement home of "perfection" and instead allows me to stay out on the open road.

I stayed true to my own voice and path.

My mom likes to talk about the freedoms that come with age, and while I roll my eyes when she talks this way (because I'm a daughter and she's the mom), I also have to agree with her.

Yes, mom.

Because Lush Money was written using myself as true north. It was written saying things I wanted to say about strong women and supportive men and love and sex and family and self-image. I plan to take this compass into the submission process and, hopefully, the publishing process. I'm old enough now to understand that a dream achieved without listening to the directives of your heart is no dream at all.

I've transformed into a pantser.

Seven years ago, I would have sworn to you that I can't write a book without knowing exactly where it was going.

And then, I tried to write three books with elaborate outlines and notecards and emotional arcs and mountains of research. I hated them. I spent three months doing prep work for the last book I attempted, even taking an intensive course about establishing story theme. I literally could not get through the first chapter.

I began the popular fanfiction piece I wrote on Wattpad with nothing but a threat I offer my husband when he doesn't take good physical care of himself: "If you die young, I'm going to take your life insurance money and buy a gigolo." I began writing Lush Money with one single solitary concept: What if the billionaire was a woman? I was as surprised by the twists and turns in that story as the readers. I knew my hero had a sister five seconds before she burst into the room. The photographer who caught my couple de flagrante surprised me as much as he did the couple.

I'm sure my writing method will twist and turn over time as much as my stories. That's because I'm good. But growing.

I'm in love.

I can build kingdoms. I can create corporations and birth beautiful villages in the Spanish mountains and swirl together the most delectable glass of red wine you've ever tasted.

I can make you sweat and break your heart. Don't worry, I'm usually crying right there with you.

And then I take a break for lunch.

"If you don't create, you hurt yourself," says Grant Faulkner in his book, Pep Talks for Writers. "Making art tells you who you are. Making art in turn makes you."

I make myself everyday when I sit down to write. When the words feel stifled, I make myself into someone grouchy and mean, wondering why everything pokes and fits too small until I remember, "Oh yeah, I had a shitty writing day."

But when the words flow, I make myself into something glorious. I find all kinds of joy in this life, but there is nothing that makes me feel more powerful, more capable, more worthy of my place here on this planet than a good day of writing my romance novel.

I've found love. I won't give it up again.