One Hour to a Happy Hour at Home

This time of year – post-freezing, pre-mosquitoes – is my favorite time to invite a few friends over because it requires very little work. And the work, the planning and execution of a gathering when we’re swamped with so many other things, is why we take don’t take more time to hang out with the people we enjoy.

But putting together a Friday happy hour when it's nice outside only takes one hour. I promise. With one hour of work, you can host a happy hour that will provide you many happy hours of reminiscing with your friends.

Ready? Go.

0:00-0:10 – Send an email.

• Keep your invite list short. No more than 15 people or four families, if everyone will be bringing kids.
• The email should be as casual as the event: “Happy hour at my house from 5-7 on Friday. Bring a snack to share. I’ll provide the booze.” (Feel free to cut and paste)
• Keep the event to two hours so friends don’t assume you’re feeding them dinner.
• Provide an end time so the happy hour doesn’t turn into someone sleeping it off on your couch.

0:10-0:30 – Make an alcohol run.

In Between Tip: If you decide you’d like to provide a cocktail, make sure it is one you can make ahead of time and serve in a pitcher. White Peach Sangria and Berry Vodka Punch are a couple of my summer favorites.

• Grocery store list:
  • A six-pack of a craft beer
  • A 12-pack of something Sam Adams-like
  • A big bottle of red. (At 6 p.m. on a Friday, people are more concerned about quantity than quality.)
  • A big bottle of white
  • Plastic cups (The short clear ones allow people to moderate their drinking a bit better than the red Dixie cups.)
  • Water bottles (for kids or designated drivers)
  • Bag of ice
  • Flowers

0:30-0:50 – Clear a path.

• The key to making a happy hour simple is to shove everyone outside. Nicely. So hide the clutter on the walks between your front door, your back door, and your bathroom, and make sure your guests know that the party is outside.
• Ask your guests to come through the side gate, if you have one. Then you’ll only have to clear a path to the bathroom.
• The other option – and this is ALWAYS an option when you entertain – is don't clean and know that your guests are happy to be invited into the welcoming hug of fun friendship.

0:50-1:00 – Prep your outdoors.

My lovely friend Paige's happy hour table

• Set out platters and bowls for the chips and cookies friends will bring. Asking them to bring a snack takes a load off you, and they’ll be happy to offer something to the party.
• Ice down the beer, white wine and water in an ice chest.
• Put out napkins, plastic cups and flowers.
• Graciously accept the "oohs" and "aahs" from all your appreciative friends who are certain it must have taken you hours to put it all together.

Do you have a party shortcut? An easy appetizer, a go-to Pandora party playlist, or a simple way to make the food table look extraordinary? Please share it with the rest of us In-Betweeners on my Facebook page.

Exploring Virginia Wine Country

Fabbioli Cellars in March

We’ve gotten grumpy as we’ve gotten older. That dense elbow-to-elbow city-ness that my husband and I used to love about being inside the Beltway when we were younger is something we look to escape every so often these days. So we’re blessed that, in under an hour, we can be driving past stately wooden fences, rolling hills and stone buildings that signify one thing: We’re in Virginia wine country.

It took us too long to visit it. Our little kids (don't take them to a winery; just don't), and the extreme good fortune of spending bits of every summer visiting my parents’ vineyard in Sonoma County kept us away. But finally, this March, we pawned our now older kids off on some friends and headed west for a weekend.

Virginia wine country is unique from Sonoma or Napa because of its history. The ancient stone inns and horse fences stretching over pastoral hills and two-lane brick roads taking you through downtown Burgs (Middleburg, Leesburg) are beautiful in their longevity and sense of place. I’m not a Horse & Hound kind of woman, but I definitely see the appeal.

Wine is produced in every nook and cranny of Virginia – it’s the fifth-largest wine-producing state – but we stayed north of I-66 and east of the Blue Ridge Mountains, where we had almost 40 wineries to choose from.

Wineries We Visited

Hidden Brook Winery – We began our tasting north of Leesburg at Hidden Brook Winery, a cabin in the woods in an area that’s becoming a crossroads for wineries, with Hidden Brook, Fabbioli Cellars, The Vineyards and Winery at Lost Creek, and Tarara Winery all in a couple of miles of each other. If you follow my rule of no more than four wineries in a day, you could hit this quadrant and be done. Hidden Brook was a lovely place to visit.

The award-winning wines of Fabbioli Cellars

Fabbioli Cellars – This family home with the tasting room in the cellar knocked me out! The tasting was an event, a seven-course, food-and-wine pairing with a host all to ourselves. And any West Coast snottiness was wiped away by the appeal of these Fabbioli Wines. We walked away with several bottles of the Tre Sorelle, a Table Red, and a Tannat for a special occasion.

Barrel Oak Winery – The two times we’ve been to Barrel Oak (once for a friend’s birthday party), we found the crowds we were trying to escape. Just off I-66, the winery is perched at the top of a big hill filled with picnic tables and fire pits and 20-somethings in their aviator glasses admiring the view. Which is great for this obviously popular winery. But not so great for us grumps. We snuck into the besieged tasting room, bought a bottle, drank a bit of it at a picnic table, and escaped.

Three Fox Vineyards

Three Fox Vineyards – Three Fox Vineyards has a small and cozy tasting room on the south side of I-66, and a large, beautiful meadow rolling down to benches facing a creek. This is where we walked with our last glass of the day to enjoy the late afternoon light. Three Fox focuses on producing Italian-style wines, and we took home a couple bottles of the Piemontese Nebbiolo.

Bluemont Vineyard – Bluemont Vineyard was our last stop before we headed back home Sunday. What a way to go out! The drive alone was awesome – we took a “shortcut” north along the spine of a mountain-top road with incredible views of the Blue Ridge Mountains to the west, and then up a steep, sweat-inducing road to get to the winery. On a clear day, you can see Tysons from the ski chalet-like second story deck. The tasting room staffers are loads of fun and as many locals seemed to be filling the tasting room as non-locals. Oh, the wine? We couldn’t leave without a few bottles of their Cabernet Franc.

The March view at Bluemont Vineyard

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Visiting Virginia Wine Country

For everything you could ever want to know about visiting Virginia wineries, check out VirginiaWine.org. 

Where to Stay: We stayed at the Red Fox Inn, a fieldstone building and collection of cottages in the quaint downtown strip of Middleburg. It is thought to be the oldest continually operating inn in the United States, and it has been visited by President John F. Kennedy, Elizabeth Taylor and was a regular destination during fox hunting season for Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis. 

The incredible brunch at The Ashby Inn

Where to Eat: We had some outstanding meals in Virginia wine country.

• The Wine Kitchen
• Tuscarora Mill
• The Ashby Inn in Paris, Va. - I have to give a special recommendation to The Ashby Inn's Sunday brunch. Paris, Va., is a two-block town in a valley with the Ashby Inn at the top of its main (only) street. And the three-course meal and accompanying brunch cocktails were some of the most innovative and beautifully presented food and drinks I've had in my life. 

I Hate the 9:30 Club

Listen to my 9:30 Club Mix Tape while readiing this blog.

I do. I hate the 9:30 Club, that mecca to live music lovers in our nation's capital, that pantheon to mournful hipsters or shimmying sorority girls or aging dads in their Bad Brains t-shirts, depending on the night. I hate that large, still-divey venue where I've seen Kings of Leon and Lykke Li and Delta Rae and Cold War Kids and Ray Lamontagne and Old 97's and Bon Iver and Neil Finn and Rhett Miller and Mumford & Sons and Django Django and Timbaland and The Afghan Whigs. 

Okay. Maybe I don't hate the 9:30 Club. Maybe I just hate those two lumbering boy-men, those big boys with scraggly beards and fuzzy hair and heavy-rimmed glasses who were trying to get around me the last time I was at the 9:30 Club. I didn't know I was blocking their way. I didn't know until I heard a, "Umm...excuse me...ma'am."

Ma'am.

In one fell swoop, I went from feeling quite lively and chipper to feeling like someone's mom. And I AM someone's mom (more on that later). But no one wants their mom at a live music show. I knew the intrusion I used to feel when I was a high schooler at the Fillmore in San Francisco or a college student at the Bottleneck in Lawrence, Kan., and saw an "ADULT" in the crowd.

"Everything else is yours," was my sentiment. "Let this be ours."

Haim at the 9:30 Club

But just because a couple of decades separate me from that girl doesn't mean my true, passionate love for music and the musicians who create it has dimmed. My love for sold-out shows has dimmed -- I boogie by the bar to avoid the chest-to-back crowds and keep my drink filled. And my enthusiasm for waiting until 11 p.m. for the main act to go on has certainly waned. But I think I've found a solution to that, too.

The kid

I go to early shows with my kid!

We took our teenager to see the three-sister band Haim at 7 p.m. on a Wednesday (the 9:30 Club is an all-ages venue), and I've got to tell you, passing the torch was cool. He stood with his dad in the middle of the crowd -- he can do that, he's over six feet -- and catching glimpses of the look on his face while those three strong women rocked out seemed like the best reason ever to get pregnant. We took him for the whole night-out experience -- the stroll down U Street, half-smokes at Ben's -- and we were still home by 10!

I guess it's appropriate that the night of the "ma'am" was also the night of my son's first 9:30 Club show, even though I was standing nowhere near him when the boys politely asked me to move my ancient ass. I'm not going to stop doing something that makes me thrive just because it's more appropriate for my son to be enjoying it. I've figured out how to mitigate the annoyances -- go to early shows, stand by the bar, hide behind my six-foot kid. So, no, I guess I don't hate the 9:30 Club.

Unfortunately for a venue that I'm sure is not trying to attract the over-40 crowd, I kind of love the place.

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Recommended 9:30 Club Shows in June for In-Betweeners

(Some shows are sold out but try StubHub for tickets. Enjoy one aspect of being old - disposable income!)

• Tonight - Old 97's (great alt-country twang band with hawt lead singer Rhett Miller)
• 6/3 - Jamie Cullum (amazing jazz pianist turned pop crooner)
• 6/6 - Lady Gaga vs. Madonna vs. ALL the Divas - a dance party with DJ lil'e
• 6/7 - Jenny Lewis (incredible singer, songwriter. And she was in Troop Beverly Hills)
• 6/8 - La Roux (sang Bulletproof, made into a song-demon song in Pitch Perfect)
• 6/14 - Who's Bad: The Ultimate Michael Jackson tribute Band 
• 6/27 - Throwing Muses with Special Guest Tanya Donelly (90s awesomeness)
• 6/28 - No Scrubs: 90's Dance Party with DJs Will Eastman and Brian Billion

Check out my 9:30 Club Mix Tape for In-Betweeners to hear songs from the above bands.

Cold Beer After a Hot Day

Sometimes this is the sum total of what I need to enjoy my life. A pretty summer day. Hard work. A feeling of accomplishment. And a cold beer. 

Today, for the first time in 15 years as a homeowner who aspired to garden, I got every plant I bought at the garden store into the ground or a pot. I didn't let them wilt in their sad, plastic containers as I walked past them, day after day, declaring that tomorrow I would get them in the ground. I didn't curse myself for the money spent then wasted. I plodded through four hours in a pretty decent heat and got everything where it needed to go. A beer, a Bud, seemed like the appropriate toast to this sweetly Americana achievement.  

Now let's see if I water.  

Jar Recipes for Summer Parties

This Memorial Day weekend we were honored to be invited to enjoy an outdoor barbecue at a friend's house. And it was an honor.

It seems like people are less and less willing to host a gathering, to do the work that it takes to have friends over. I love to entertain and when the invitations to our house never seemed to be returned by the invitees, I found myself getting bitter. But I had to do a reality check -- entertaining at your home can be hard. From getting the house and yard ready to buying and preparing all the food and beverages to just managing your guests RSVPs, what should be fun starts feeling like a hassle.

So, when we do get invited, I try to acknowledge the work the hosts have done. I try to RSVP as soon as possible, I try to be a fun and appreciative party guest, and if I'm asked to bring something, I try to make it something special. (Notice my caveat "try." I can be damn lazy.) It's easy to bring a bag of chips, but I like to make my potluck offering a gift to the host, a little something to acknowledge the work she or he has done.

Photo by Mariah Smith

The trend that is the Mason jar is the perfect way to offer that gift. It allows you a beautiful way to present your goodie, to make goodies single-serving if appropriate and to designate adult drinks from kid drinks. I've included some of my favorite jar offerings below. Enjoy!

Caponata/MyRecipes.com

This Roasted Eggplant Dip on toasted brushetta is a real crowd pleaser, not only for the hearty, tangy taste of the dip, but the beautiful presentation it makes in a large jar. I bought a 1 liter Weck jar for $5 from World Market and it held all the goodness. Place your toasted bread, a ramekin of ricotta and the jar on a platter and let people make up their own toasts.

White Peach Sangria/Photo by Mariah Smith /Recipe from MyRecipes.com

With the mint and the peaches and the bubbles from the sparkling wine, these White Peach Sangrias are beautiful in Mason jars. If you're using 8-ounce Mason jars, this recipe makes a dozen drinks. Put three peach slices and a spring of mint in every jar, mix the liquids in a pitcher and fill jars about two-thirds of the way. Then ice in a tub and bring to a party!

Cowboy Caviar/MyRecipes.com

I like Cowboy Caviar because it has so many healthy ingredients that it feels like you're canceling out the fried chips you're dipping into it. All the little morsels especially look vivid and colorful presented in a jar. Make sure your avocados are firm so they don't turn into guacamole when you stir.

Berry Vodka Punch/Stylelushblog.com

Many summer parties are all-ages parties. Putting alcoholic cocktails in jars is an easy way to keep kids from pouring a deliciously tempting drink like this Berry Vodka Punch into their Dixie cups. These single servings of hard alcohol also allow your guests to have fun without having TOO much fun!

Tequila-Soaked Watermelon/MarthaStewart.com

Nothing looks more gorgeous than these cubes of watermelon flecked in sea salt sparkling in their jars in a tub of ice. I adapted this Tequila-Soaked Watermelon recipe to offer my guests a refreshing, mildly boozy treat on a hot day. Cutting up the watermelon into bite-sized cubes, distributing it between the jars, pouring the liquid over the top and then sealing them up gives them more flavor than pouring the liquid over the top of slices. 

Chocolate Pudding Parfaits/MyRecipes.com

When we were in our 20s, we took these classic American favorites to an elegant D.C. dinner party. No one was as charmed as we were. But in glass jars on a hot summer day, cold Chocolate Pudding Parfaits are the bomb. You don't really need a recipe -- graham cracker crumbs on the bottom, instant chocolate pudding next, Cool Whip on top. Refrigerate.

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Check out a great recipe for Bourbon Lemonade on my Pinterest board "Recipes for Jars"

In Between Tip: WEEKEND ALERT - Buy your tickets now to Great Tastes of Tysons, a two-day wine and food festival Saturday and Sunday. Deal Chicken is offering the $69 tickets for $20 until 11:59 p.m., Wednesday.

My Red Carpet Moment at the GI Film Festival

Washington, D.C., is ripe with red carpet events where no one recognizes the people on the red carpet. Fundraisers for not-for-profits, political events (can you name your senator, much less point her out?) and various mixers all roll out the carpet and invite you -- for the price of a ticket -- to stand in front of a logo-printed backdrop while attractive young men in sunglasses point their big lenses at you.

Our red carpet moment. Photo by Micah Gold

I LOVE every second of it!

Our red carpet moment came Monday night at the GI Film Festival in Old Town Alexandria. The festival recognizes the work of directors and actors telling military stories, and supports veterans getting into the cinematic arts. My husband's company is a sponsor of the festival. Thus, the welcome to the red carpet.

Today and tomorrow, the festival will be showcasing long and short films at the beautiful Old Town Theater in Alexandria that examine various aspects of military life: the pulse-pounding adrenaline of war, transitioning back to civilian life, the courage of those who fought during WWII. And after a day's worth of film, there will be the parties. 

Adam Driver

I like the parties.

Saturday's after party will be at the U.S. Patent and Trademark Office with special guest Adam Driver, who is a former U.S. Marine and an actor in Girls and Inside Llewyn Davis. You may not have heard of Adam, but you will: He is reportedly the main bad guy in the upcoming Star Wars films. So...squee!

Michelle Monaghan

Sunday's party will be a champagne reception at the Old Town Theater following the East Coast premiere of Fort Bliss, which stars Michelle Monaghan as a decorated Army medic and single mother who returns home from Afghanistan. The truly effervescent Monaghan -- I loved her in Mission: Impossible III -- will be there to toast women in the military, who are being honored that night.

In Between Tip: For dining in Old Town, head away from the water and toward Vermillion. The sexy townhouse restaurant with its opulent red walls, carefully crafted cocktails and beautifully presented meals will make you very glad that you're an adult.

So, not everyone on the red carpet is unrecognizable. In fact, there was even a well-known face at our event, a face so well known for the good guys he plays that I had the impulse to slap him on the back and say, "Hey" like he was an old friend. It was David Arquette. You know, Monica's other husband. He was there to promote Monday's movie, Field of Lost Shoes, a Civil War drama that he and a lot of other Hollywood bigwigs (Tom Skerritt, Jason Isaacs, LUKE FROM MODERN FAMILY) had a role in.

I didn't walk up and say "Hi." But we hovered in his vicinity and felt cool occasionally taking glances at his good hair and bright, white shoes. 

Us with David Arquette. Photo by Micah Gold/Bespoke Mag

Other people were not so shy. Photo by Micah Gold/Bespoke Mag

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GI Film Festival

When: Continues Saturday, May 24 and Sunday, May 25.

Where: Old Town Theater, 815 King St., Alexandria, VA 22314

After parties: 

• Tickets to Saturday's film and after party = $51
• Tickets to Sunday's film and champagne reception = $26

Finding Fun Over 40

Photo by Joey L. / Sentiment from Mentors Channel.

I don’t like feeling old. Growing old? That, I’m okay with. There’s a great meme going around on Facebook about those who have the privilege of growing old. And it is a privilege, one I want to enjoy.

But I don’t want to feel old. I don’t want to feel like I’ve aged past the opportunity for adventure and inspiration and just frivolous fun. I take care of my responsibilities: I’m a good wife and a great mom, I pay my bills, I do my work, I go to bed at a proper time most weeknights, I eat right and exercise. I do all the things I’m supposed to do. So I want to make sure I’m taking the time to do the stuff I want to do.

I fundamentally believe there is value in going out. I always have. When our kids were infants then toddlers, I made a point of getting a babysitter every other Saturday night. I never knew my husband appreciated the effort until our kids were older and a man with toddlers asked him at a dinner party, “So when did you start having fun again?”

I'm actually 39 in this picture. So sue me.

“We've always had fun,” my husband said, as if ‘always having fun’ was the most obvious characteristic of a marriage.

But figuring where and how to have fun as a 40-something? It’s hard. The bar scene with youngsters half your age shouting and drinking and hitting on each other starts looking distasteful. And there’s no greater smack to the ego than being called “ma’am” in a crowded club.

So this blog is about my quest to find places and activities that don’t make me feel old and out of place or -- hell -- even if they do, they’re worth doing. I want going-out experiences that hit some criteria of fun and ease and discovery. That make my friends laugh with the verve we bring out in each other, that make my husband and I appreciate how much we dig each other.

That make me remember that growing old isn’t getting old.