Take a Tour of D.C.'s New Chocolate Factory

As my family and I drove up to the Harper Macaw chocolate factory off Bladensburg Road NE in D.C.'s Brookland neighborhood, my wise-cracking teen son observed, "There are no tubes full of chocolate coming out of the top. Zero out of ten."

I imagine many families with young children will take a tour of this newly opened and locally owned chocolate factory hoping to re-create a portion of the Willy Wonka experience. But the website recommends that only those 10 and over go on this $10/person tour for a reason. Rather than displaying rivers of chocolate and lickable walls, the Harper Macaw tour is all about displaying the intentions of its young owners to save one corner of the planet with cacao beans planted, harvested and transformed into chocolate the right way. 

Head chocolate maker Sarah Hartman and her husband, Colin Hartman, began producing fine chocolate in September and opened the factory to tours in December. They were drawn to D.C. because they liked the manageable size of the area, the fact that they can see the sky, the food scene, and the relative absence of local chocolate. 

They source their cacao beans exclusively from three farms in Brazil, Sarah’s home country. Brazil has lost 90 percent of its Atlantic Forest, which provides a necessary canopy for cacao beans, and has slipped from being the third largest producer of cacao beans to sixth. By supporting farmers who are producing cacao in a sustainable way and re-investing a portion of Harper Macaw profits into rainforest restoration, Sarah and Colin see an opportunity to make an impact while producing really good, distinct-tasting chocolate.

Owner Colin Hartman handing out cocoa nib samples as he stands next to the roaster.

“Without good cacao beans, you can’t make good chocolate,” Colin says at the beginning of our 20-person tour of the factory. It’s the same sentiment winemakers use about their grapes, and — like winemakers — Sarah and Colin give “single estate” status to chocolate bars sourced from individual farms in Brazil. The 77 percent Amazon Rainforest bar is from Tomé Açu and the 74 percent Atlantic Forest bar is from Vale do Juliana. The two other bars Harper Macaw is currently producing are the 67 percent Dark Blend and the 52 percent Milk Blend.

Colin leads the tour with chocolate dust on his blazer and an apology for “going into a lot of details on these tours.” No apologies are needed. The hour-long “bean to bar” tour — from seeing the bags of beans fresh off the boat from the Philadelphia harbor (Colin drives there to pick them up), to seeing the equipment used for cleaning, roasting, winnowing, refining, grinding, conching and tempering the chocolate — is a fascinating, in-depth story of how a product is made with love and care. 

The tour ends with a chocolate tasting: samples of all four chocolate laid out with crackers and seltzer to cleanse the palate and an entertaining explanation of how to enjoy the chocolate with all five senses. The little ones may not like it, but us big ones certainly did.

Take a Chocolate Factory Tour

Entrance to Harper Macaw's chocolate factory

An amazing number of treats and samples are available in the cafe

You can sample this...

Or this...

Or have as much as you want of this...

Harper Macaw is currently selling four bars

An ode to Brazil

Owner Colin Hartman starts the tour in a room where the beans are stored and cleaned

Yes, on the tour you must wear a hairnet

Colin hands out even more samples standing next to the roaster

The winnower

The conveyer belt where the chocolate cools in it molds for twenty minutes

Chocolate tasting

Tasting the chocolate

Stop by the wall at the end to pick up even more chocolate

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Harper Macaw

3160 Bladensburg Rd NE, Washington, DC 20018

Get to the tour early so you can sample Harper Macaw's amazing treats while you wait

Tours of the Harper Macaw chocolate factory occur every Saturday on the hour between 1 p.m. to 5 p.m. on a first-come, first-serve basis. People have already discovered this gem, so arrive by the :30 if you want to go on the next hour tour.

Harper Macaw's four fine chocolate bars are currently available in their shop and at a variety of locations around the D.C. area, including the Red Apron shops at Mosaic and Penn Quarter. They plan on releasing more products in May.

Resolve to Create An Annual Social Media Calendar in 2016

I was honored this week to guest blog at Writers in the Storm, a popular blog named one of the 101 Best Websites for Writers by Writer's Digest for the last two years. Since following through on New Year's resolutions seems to be my theme right now (see last week), I figured I would help these writers with their own social media resolutions. The result: A blog about how to develop an Annual Social Media Calendar. While the article is addressing writers, these steps can be used by anyone hoping to put their best social media foot forward in 2016:

For busy authors -- or anyone building a brand or a business -- one of the most daunting tasks we face every day can be sitting down to post to social media.

"What should I say?" we think. "Who's going to care?"

Wouldn't it be phenomenal to sit down every day knowing exactly what you're going to blog, post, and Tweet? And hitting "enter" with the confidence that what you post will reflect your personality and interests, appeal to your fans and move you toward your business goals?

If you're resolving to do better with your social media in 2016, an annual social media calendar is the key to making your New Year's resolution a reality.

Here's how to build one:

Step 1: Make a list of your business goals for 2016.

While writing is a creative endeavor in the search for truth and beauty, and social media is a wonderful forum for giving virtual hugs to your fans, writing is also a job. Social media is the advertisement. So instead of letting social media pull you away from your job, make it work for you. This list will insure that your business goals for that "creative endeavor" are front and center so that you can integrate them into your social media throughout the year.

Step 2: Make a list of your personal and professional events in 2016.

We can forget to post our special events on social media in the midst of a hectic writer's conference or anniversary vacation. And that's the fun stuff -- the stuff our fans love to hear about. Writing these professional and personal dates down now will allow you to remember them later. Sure, you probably won't forget to promote that new book, but seeing it coming up on your social media calendar will remind you to start building a plan for promotion months ahead of time.

Step 3: List holidays/seasonal events that are important to you.

Scroll through the months. What are nationally recognized days that speak to you? Christmas, Hanukkah, spring break, first day of school, National Doughnut Day? Use these days to connect with your fans and to let them know you have the same excitement about Santa, the same relief about the kids going back to school, and the same interest in candied-bacon doughnuts as they do.

Step 4: Write down 4-5 themes that distinguish you.

Themes are the rocket fuel of your social media calendar. Your themes are what distinguish you, your writing and your philosophies from other authors, and they are what will set your social media posts apart from other posts in a fan's stream. Themes -- you're an animal-loving, travel-seeking rock climber who writes sexy small-town contemporaries and loves men in kilts -- give your fans something to hang onto. Staying consistent with your themes gives you a foundation from which you can grow an audience that loves you.

My themes in my annual social media calendar are:

• Social Media/Writing -- Of course.
• Being "In Between" -- Issues of being in my 40s: old enough to have a senior in high school and young enough to still like going to live music shows.
• Ways I Can Help -- How I'm a strategic thinker, storyteller, cheerleader and accountability partner for my clients.
• Fun in D.C. -- Tips on best restaurants, drinks, events and outdoor activities in the D.C. area.
• Community -- Applauding and promoting clients, friends, writers, advice givers and others I admire.

I have a vineyard-owner client whose themes are:

• Evolution of a Vineyard -- Discussing the evolution of this relatively new vineyard.
• The Growing Season -- Tracking the annual cycle of the Pinot Noir vines from pruning to harvest.
• Russian River Valley Winegrowers -- Supporting the winemakers and growers of their area.
• Around the Vineyard -- Celebrating the gophers, family visits, new barn doors and bocce ball games of living on a vineyard.
• To Dos in the Russian River Valley -- Promoting the people, wines, geography and events of Russian River Valley in Sonoma County.

Think big picture when you're developing your themes. Make sure your themes include a mix of professional and personal interests, and -- because social media is "social" -- make sure at least one of your themes focuses on promoting others.

Here are some questions to help you decide your themes:

• What are your books about?
• What do you like to do in your free time?
• What did you study in school?
• How would your friends describe you? 
• Is there a cause or charity that you're passionate about?
• Do you have any hobbies?
• What do you day dream about?
• Are there community or writer organizations that you want to support?

Step 5: Build your template.

This step is easy. Click here, fill in your email, and you'll receive the above template to build your annual social media calendar.

Step 6: Enter your business goals at the top of the template under "General."

Installing these goals at the top will insure that they are top of mind as you're developing your social media plan of attack for each month. Make sure your goals are accomplishable within a month (you are only human and you need to sleep), and break large goals, like "Finish a book", into manageable monthly bites, like "Write 20,000 words."

Step 7: Enter your themes on the side of the template.

I like to include details about the themes that will jog ideas when I'm filling it in later.

Step 8: Enter your "Events" at the bottom.

Step 9: Fill in the blanks.

Now you will use your themes as a guide for coming up with content ideas for the rest of the year. Wha...?! I know, sounds daunting. But it's easier than you think. And a little blood, sweat and tears now will prevent you from having to bleed, sweat and cry EVERY TIME you sit down to post for the REST OF THE YEAR.

1. Keep your ideas general. This is just your annual calendar. Your ideas can get more specific when you work on your monthly calendar (more on that later). For example, if you love to cook and one of your themes is "Eating Healthy," a February idea could be "Cooking with root vegetables." What will be in the pot? Who knows? But seeing it on your calendar will help focus you when the time comes.

2. Connect the holidays/seasonal events you listed with a theme that focuses on you personally. My "In Between" theme allows me to talk about my personal life. So in it I will talk about my New Year's resolutions in January, Mother's Day in May, the fact that this will be the first Father's Day without my Dad in June, and my son going off to college in August. Connecting my life events to the holidays and seasons gives "me" a platform to talk about "us."

3. Find a category and stick with it. A writer who writes stories about sexy ski bums could fill his social media feed with pictures of awesome ski resorts. He could highlight a different ski area -- Colorado, California, Switzerland, Chile -- every month. A writer who loves to objectify the male body -- I know I do -- can focus on a different body part every month. Like I said, this does not have to be difficult.

4. Don't re-invent the wheel. I have a professional organizing client who uses online tools like Dropbox and Evernote to help people eliminate the paper clutter in their lives. So guess what? In January, she spotlights tips on how to use Evernote. In February, she offers tips on Dropbox. In March, it's another tool, then another and another, until July comes around and we start with Evernote again. Offer information that you already have and don't be afraid to repeat yourself.

Step 10: Putting your annual social media calendar to work.

Your annual social media calendar will:

• Insure you're hitting all of your business goals by highlighting a goal every month 
• Provide you with blogging ideas that enrich the message of your website 
• Guarantee that your day-to-day social media posts communicate a consistent message of who you are as a writer 
• Remind you of important events to insure you're posting and promoting them 
• Provide an outline for your monthly social media calendar

Pantsers can take a look at their annual social media calendar whenever they're stuck and instantly have a social media idea to get them back on track. Plotters can use their annual social media calendar to fill out their monthly social media calendars, a day-by-day listing of what they're going to blog and post about so they'll never have to wonder. But THAT is for another blog post (or you can contact me for more info).

May your social media posts be easy and fruitful in 2016! 

Don't forget to sign up for your free annual social media calendar template.

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What is one social media challenge you'd like to conquer in 2016? Let me know in the comments section.

Resolving to Find the Fun in 2016

Me in 2014.

2015 kind of sucked for me.

I dealt with painful "getting old" back and leg issues, my son was immersed in junior/senior year stress (and we all went along for that ride), and my Dad died. There were many blessings, too: a trip to Vegas, a great writing conference, new clients (yay!), and the continued health and contentment of most of my family.

But in 2016, I want to focus on being happy again. I believe happiness takes a certain level of mindfulness, and I want to be mindful of discovering joy, rather than passively suffering through the misery. At my age, I know joy doesn't consist of just vacations and mani/pedis. True joy is found in your day-to-day, in taking care of your family, partnership, health, work, friends and home.

So, to succeed in this year's theme -- "Find the Fun" -- these are the New Year's resolutions I've made to be responsible for my happiness and to kick the blahs out the door. I only succeed when I'm held accountable, which is why I'm posting them here. I'll blog again in February about how I'm doing.

Family resolution

I resolve to create more moments when we can be together as a family. 

It's amazing, when your children are teenagers, how easy it is to live with people that you never connect with. We're home together a lot, but the boys are working as hard as I am on "the future," and when we're not working, we're relaxing on devices -- I'm as bad as they are. I'm trying to keep this resolution simple, i.e.. accomplishable: I'm resolving to eat more meals at the table and to plan one event a month that gets us out of the house together. I've already got this month's event on the calendar: We're going to the Harper Macaw chocolate factory tour in northeast D.C. Could there be a better lure? And yes, there will be a blog.

Marriage resolution

I resolve to find one new adult event to explore every month with my husband.

My man's a blast, he's pretty much up for anything with only mild convincing, and we have a lot of fun together. But with the stress of last year, we went out less and less, and when we did go out, it was generally to the same place. We both enjoy life with a few surprises, so in 2016, I'm committed to finding the Kennedy Center performances, bourbon tastings and hiking trails that will offer them.

Health resolution

I resolve to feel better.

Resolutions about weight and health are rife with controversy, and I thought long and hard about how to phrase this one. But the thing is, I don't feel good at the weight I am. I think it's hard on my frame. The end of last year was a "eat-and-drink-my-pain" fiesta and in the four days that I've been eating better, exercising every day, drinking more water and cutting back on alcohol, I already feel better. The proof is in the pudding, even when I can't have any.

Work resolution

I resolve to post to social media every day, skill build two hours a week, blog every week, and make a certain amount every month.

As a busy social media manager who helps my solopreneur and small business clients learn, plan and post their social media, I forget to do my own learning and planning and posting. The prime directive I give to all my clients is to take control of their marketing and messaging. And yet, I can let my messaging passively dribble out, too. However, with a child soon in college and a directive about how much I have to make in 2016 from my financial planner, my business and income is something I can no longer be passive about. Need help with your social media resolutions? That's what I'm here for.

Friends resolution

I resolve to entertain more and be more entertaining.

Oh, my lovely friends. Does it feel like your digits are gathering dust on my phone? Friends and their information, advice, laughter and love inject a huge dose of fun into my life, and I will use the excuse, "I'm sooooo busy," no longer. I've already got a couple of gatherings at our house planned -- look for your invite -- but I'm also going to remind myself that seeing my friends does not have to be a production. Over coffee, with a glass of wine, or during a joint trip to Target is a great time to enjoy my friends.

Home resolution 

I resolve to do what our financial planner says.

While being in our 40s doesn't make my husband and I feel any closer to adulthood, we are trying to behave like adults. We finally met with a financial planner at the end of last year, and she has given us our marching orders. It's calming to know we're driving down the road of our financial future with our eyes wide open, rather than squinted shut while hoping everything is going to be okay. It's also nice to know someone is there to help us handle the dips, rises and inevitable potholes. 

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What are your resolutions for 2016? Do you have any suggestions to help me with mine? Please comment below. I need all the help I can get.

And please check in again in February to see how I'm doing. 

The Perfect Virginia Hiking Trail for the Holidays

A perfect holiday outing when you have an onslaught of guests is one that takes very little effort on your part but delivers spectacular "oohs" and "aahs." The Buzzard Rock North hiking trail in the George Washington National Forest provided that for me and my family the day after Thanksgiving.

We'd decided to #OptOutside with REI (they closed their stores on Black Friday and encouraged everyone to go outside), and Buzzard Rock gave us an effortless way to work off some of the pumpkin pie while still knocking our socks off. Why was it perfect?

1. Buzzard Rock is an hour from the Beltway.

Straight out on I-66 and just past Shenandoah National Park, getting to the trail head only takes an hour from the Beltway. But that drive west that quickly turns tree-thick and hilly makes you feel like you're getting away from it all.

2. Buzzard Rock is a short hike to -- and through -- lots of goodness.

It's a two-mile hike to the cliffs, and that hike is a pretty one: winding through tall trees, crossing streams, over hills and dales. You do switch backs and ascends near the end, but except for one portion, I really didn't huff and puff. And I have NOT been getting to my kickboxing class. It's an all-ages, all-abilities kind of hike.

3. Buzzard Rock loses its leaves.

As we meandered, we noticed pretty hillside views that we wouldn't have been able to see in the summer and early falls months because of the leaves. I'm sure the leaves are spectacular in the fall. So are the crowds. Hiking Buzzard Rock in the winter will allow you to see more of the countryside with fewer people around (although the small parking lot got packed early on the day after Thanksgiving. Learn about the TICKET we got below.).

4. Buzzard Rock has enormous wow factor.

We were tooling along and beginning to ascend and noticing some pretty views when -- BAM! -- we hit a switch back that gave us a spectacular view of the rural countryside, a creek and ponds below. It truly surprised us. Buzzard Rock offers up a lot "ooooooooh" in its short two miles.

5. Buzzard Rock makes you feel like you've climbed a mountain.

After that first "wow" view, Buzzard Rock truly ascends for a short bit; here's where some huffing and puffing come into play. But it's totally worth it. Because at the top, you walk along a narrow ridgeline bordered by jagged slabs of rock that you can clamber on and capture astonishing views of Fort Valley below. The roads are like lines. The cars are like ants. You're high. You're cool. And you and your crew didn't even work that hard to get there.

FOR MORE INFORMATION:

• THANKS TO THE WASHINGTONIAN FOR INSPIRING US WITH THIS GREAT ARTICLE ON THE HIKE. THE ARTICLE ALSO INCLUDES POST-HIKE RESTAURANT, DESSERT AND WINERY IDEAS.

• HERE'S MORE DETAILED INFORMATION ON THE HIKE FROM HIKINGUPWARD.COM.

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Buzzard Rock Hiking Trail

 

Parking lot: The trailhead is at a small parking lot outside Front Royal, at 3087-3139 Mountain Road/Route 619. DO NOT PARK ON THE ROAD!!! The lot was already full when we got there at 10 a.m. the day after Thanksgiving. So we parked just outside the lot, on gravel between the lot and the road. We truly didn't see the No Parking signs. When we returned to our car, a nice trooper told us why we got a $20 ticket. But the other cars, parked after ours, along the road and touching the asphalt -- they were all being TOWED!! Yes, towed. DO NOT PARK ON THE ROAD!!!

Where are your places to hike in the D.C., Virginia Or maryland? Please let me know below. I'm always looking for the next Great outdoor Adventure!

Feeling Overwhelmed by Social Media? This One Simple Statement Will Help...

Overwhelmed. It's the number one reason small business clients call me for social media help, the first descriptor out of their mouths. “I feel overwhelmed by social media.”

Of course they do. For small business owners just trying to do their due diligence and connect responsibly with their customers, dipping a toe into social media can quickly feel like they’ve been thrown into a lake. Naked. They’ve set up their Facebook page. But when should they post? What should they say? Why can’t anyone see them? And then there’s Twitter? What’s a hashtag? Do they have to be snarky? And what about Snapchat? Vine? Do they have to blog?

Add such charming words as “SEO” and “analytics” to the mix, and you can understand why so many small businesses have dust bunnies gathering on the social media pages they began with such enthusiasm.

I have a magic statement to calm hyperventilating clients:

Social media is a billboard.

It is. At its essence, social media is a tool you use to catch the attention of new customers and jar the memories of old. Yes, it has infinitely more potential than an oversized poster on Highway 169. But its usefulness to you – at its heart – is the ability to draw customers.

When you compress all of those digital options into a two-dimensional billboard, doesn't that make your decisions seem easier? You can probably figure out your billboard plan with no problem -- where it should go, what it should say, what it should look like, how long it should be up there. Now apply that same thinking to your social media billboard plan:

Where should your social media billboard be located?

Does your company want to attract the photo, food and travel hipsters living in the downtown lofts of Instagram? Or is your company aiming for the families living in the comfy middle-class 'burbs of Facebook? How about those cute ladies living in the shabby-chic Pinterest homes over on the eastside? Plunk your social media billboard down where the audience you want to attract most will drive past it. And don't be distracted by the newly sprung communities that pop up everyday claiming to be the new Facebook. As a small business owner with other responsibilities to focus on -- like running your business -- let others test whether those new social media channels will prosper or languish. You don't have the time or energy to stick a billboard in a ghost town.

What should your social media billboard say?

When you have potential customers whizzing by at 55 mph, you've got to get your point across fast. People scroll through their social media feeds at about the same speed. Let those same messages you would place in huge letters on a billboard -- your tagline, what you're proud of, a new offering -- lead what you say in your social media content. I have a parenting coach client who uses an approach we've named "organized parenting" to bring calm and happiness to families. So postings about parenting, organization, being happy and content, and upcoming speaking events fill her feed. I have another client who is very proud to be growing Pinot Noir grapes in Sonoma County's Russian River Valley, a prime wine grape growing region. Most days, their social media feed sings the praises of this acclaimed wine area.

What should your social media billboard look like?

You can get pretty fancy with a billboard -- LED technology, electronic displays, those spangles that shimmer in the wind-- and the same is true with your social media images. But save collaged photos overlaid with quotes and embedded with links until you're further along in your social media journey. What's the one image on your social media billboard you can guarantee no one else will have? You. You, your business, your employees, your satisfied clients and the results of your hard efforts. Get comfy with your smart phone and post those pics that shout most clearly what a good job you do and how much you enjoy doing it.

How long should your social media billboard be up?

Keeping your billboard up for only a couple of weeks would make it ineffective; think of all those potential customers who are distracted by the radio or trying a new route those days. The same goes for your social media billboard. You have to commit to your social media channels and post, consistently and for a duration of time, for them to have an effect on your business. 

YOU have to show up. 

Because relationship building is where social media FAR exceeds the benefits of a billboard. For the first time in history, you have the opportunity to shake the (virtual) hand of each and every person that depends on you. You can build an authentic relationship with them based on trust and common interests and your good work. But if you get frustrated with your social media and walk away, if you post haphazardly and aren't present for the people who want to hear from you, if you ONLY talk about what you have to sell and don't try to connect with your customers' likes and interests, you might as well have spent that time and effort and money installing your billboard on an abandoned road.

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If you're a small business owner, what is the number one thing you find overwhelming about social media? Please let me know in the comments below.

10 Ways To Help Those In Mourning

My dad and I, 2004

Swimming in the blissful good fortune of someone who reached her forties without losing a close loved one, I was horrible when it came to helping others who were dealing with death. I once didn’t contact a good friend for months after her mom died. On the day a neighbor had to euthanize his dog who had been his main companion for 20 years, I asked, “Are you going to get another dog?” He looked at me like I’d slapped him. 

But then I joined the club. My dad was killed in August of 2015. He was on his motorcycle and was hit by a semi-truck that crossed into his lane. My dad was 62 years old, and his death was – is still – a gut-punching shock.

My dad lived in a small town, surrounded by our large family, and was active in his church and community. The initial days of our mourning were very public -- people dropped by with food and toilet paper, strangers gave their condolences at the visitation, friends he hadn't seen since high school attended the funeral. I would have assumed that I would hate feeling exposed to so many. But in reality, each word and hug and offer of support helped. Each human contact meant something to me, gave me an opportunity to cry, and made me feel not so afraid and alone.

I want to remember that. In honor of all those people who spoke and hugged and emailed, I want to remember how I would like to behave the next time someone I know is grieving the death of a loved one.

1. I will reach out anyway I can. 

I was amazed how helpful each text, Facebook post, email, phone call, card or drop-by was. Death is terrifying and being shown that I had this ever-growing wall of support and love to lean on comforted me and made me feel less alone. I didn’t care about the substance of the message; all I cared about was the karmic hug offered by each person.

2. I won’t worry about what to say. 

So often, I didn't reach out to someone who was grieving because I worried about what to say. But when I was in grief, I really didn’t care what was said. I just needed the support, the affirmation of being loved, the comfort of a hello. Just be there. The words will come.

3. I will remember that saying, “I’m sorry for your loss,” is fine. 

This is a great, simple phrase, easy to say and easy to mean. Said to me over and over again in the reception line after my dad’s funeral, it was still meaningful. If the grievers have more to say, they will. But it’s okay to just be there in silence and support.

4. I will bring food. 

People in mourning forget to eat. And then they eat a ton. And then they have to get back to real life and start planning meals. It was the very last thing in the world I wanted to do. Bring food without asking. Bring fresh food and freezable food. Bring baked goods and a salad. Bring food two weeks after the funeral. But most importantly, DON’T ASK if the person needs food. Trust me. They do.

5. I won’t talk about the bright side. 

Focusing on the positive – “At least they got to see the Grand Canyon first,” – can make this incredibly difficult conversation more comfortable for the person feeling awkward. For the person who will never see their loved one again, there is no bright side. If the mourner wants to say it, that’s fine. But don’t bring it up as the comforter. In the beginning stages of grief, it is not a comfort.

6. I won’t ask if the mourner needs anything. I will just do.

I will bring food. I will walk their dog. I will run a load of laundry. I will deliver groceries. I will whisk their kids off for a day. “Don’t hesitate to ask if you need anything,” is a well-intentioned sentiment, but a person in mourning can barely pick out what to wear, much less figure out where they need help. Just jump in and help. Oh yeah, and bring food.

7. I will make plans and dates with the griever.

When I got back home after the funeral, several beloved girlfriends contacted me with dates for cocktails, coffees and my birthday lunch. I could choose which dates worked best, but they did not give me an option to bow out. Without these lovely women, I would have spent a lot of unhealthy time on the couch watching Bones re-runs. I will remember the value of a loving arm twist.

8. I WON’T TRY TO CHANGE THE SUBJECT. 

I remember thinking in the past, “They’re probably tired of talking about death. I’ll bring up something else,” then trying to forge ahead with a new conversation. I was so wrong. Let the person talk about grieving as much and as long as he wants. When he's ready to talk about something else, he will. But let him lead the conversation.

9. I will encourage them to grieve.

One of the blessings I only fully realized after the initial fog of grieving lifted was that everyone in my life -- friends, family, husband, kids -- gave me room to grieve. No one expected me to move this thing along. I could talk and cry and stay in my sweats as long as I wanted. Encourage the griever to lean into whatever emotion he or she is feeling. Resisting grief, or ignoring it, only makes a person feel worse.

10. I will show up two weeks and a month and two months later.

The real blow of loss doesn't come until all the initial hubbub dies down. Two weeks, a month, two months later is when a mourner can really use a frozen casserole and a coffee date. I will remember to reach out and reassure the griever -- like so many wonderful people have reached out to reassure me -- that she is supported and loved.

I'd love to hear any advice you have for helping people get through grief. Please share in the comments below. 

Visit Baltimore Museum of Art's New American Wing

Photo from BmoreArt

I am ashamed to say that I have never visited the Baltimore Museum of Art. Reading about it for this blog makes me even more ashamed. It has:

• 700 works by Henri Matisse
• free admission
• paintings by Pablo Picasso, Paul Cézanne, and Vincent van Gogh

But with the new opening of the American Wing after a two-year facelift, and the re-opening of the original entrance to this beautiful Classical Revival building (the entrance was closed in 1982 because it was not handicap accessible), I now have lots of motivation to visit. According to their website "state-of-the-art lighting, new herringbone wood floors, and a new palette of colors for the walls and ceilings," have enhanced the American Wing. A display I'm excited to see:

"...[A] stunning, light-infused gallery featuring outstanding examples of Louis Comfort Tiffany's decorative works and those of his colleagues and competitors. See vibrant stained-glass windows, towering columns adorned with mosaics, an elaborate mantelpiece, and stunning, silver objects."

Oooooh. Can't wait.

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Baltimore Museum of Art

10 Art Museum Drive, Baltimore, MD 

Hours: Wednesday–Friday, 10 a.m.–5 p.m. Saturday–Sunday, 11 a.m.–6 p.m.
Monday–Tuesday, Closed

Admission: Free

For more info: http://www.artbma.org/

Off the Beaten Path in Nashville

If emerging hip cities were like the new kids at school, then Nashville would be the fascinating girl with the cool outfit who shows up at homeroom. With its vibrant music scene, emerging foodie status, streets full of the young and bearded and very own TV show, Nashville is the place to be. Or so we discovered when we decided to take our Christmas vacation there and everyone we told said, “We’ve been meaning to go to Nashville.”

 

The 10-hour drive is relatively painless for those of us from the DC-metro area (straight out on I-66, left on I-81, right on I-40), so it’s a good way to spend an I-don’t-want-to-fly vacation. I did not become an expert on Nashville in our five days of touring, eating, drinking and copious napping. But we did discover some neat out-of-the-way sights, scenes and drinks that will appeal to us aging cool kids.

1. The Parthenon at night

Our first evening in Nashville, we strolled over to the Parthenon in Centennial Park. During the day, I’m sure it’s amazing to see this leftover relic from the 1897 Centennial Exposition and the art inside. But at night, it was spooky and regal and lit with Christmas colors. We wandered between its concrete columns and told stories of time warps. You never get a monument all to yourself in D.C.

2. Johnny Cash Museum

We decided to skip the Country Music Hall of Fame for the Johnny Cash Museum, which had more sentimental value for me because I love the love story of Johnny Cash and June Carter Cash. The small museum packed in a lot of tourists when we were there, but we were still able to spend all the time we wanted listening to his music, watching his videos and looking over an interesting and intimate array of stuff from Johnny’s life. I didn’t see the love letter Johnny wrote to June after she died, but my husband did. With my tendency to cry in public, he thought that was best.

3. The Escape Game. Driving to this out-of-the-way building, I started to think that maybe I’d been suckered into a dumb activity that only tourists do. Wrong. The Escape Game location is in an amazing artist enclave, little homes for recording studios and a pie shop and a really fantastic coffee shop. And the game itself – where you and your compatriots are locked in a room for an hour and must solve puzzles to escape – is totally awesome. And no, we didn’t escape. Boo.

4. Third Man Records. The Nashville outpost of Jack White’s recording studio is tiny and weird and quirky, selling almost entirely vinyl. It’s worth a visit if you’re a fan. And ask if the studio is open. Walking through it, with its Astroturf barbecue area and big blue wall and ginormous overhead fan makes you feel like a rock star.

5. Haircut at Monty's

If there is anyone in your party who could remotely use a haircut, take them to Monty’s in the Arcade. The open-air corridor of shops covered with a roof is cool; art galleries ring the second floor. And Monty’s is everything you want a cool-guy barber shop to be: the barbers are friendly and tattooed, the Galaga is free, the pomade is plentiful and there’s a Playboy in the magazine rack. 

6. Dancing on a Monday at The 5 Spot. As we sat on our stools at The 5 Spot and watched the couples begin expertly jumping and jiving to the first beat of the first song on this soul and swing night, the couple next to us leaned over and asked, “Do you know what’s going on?” We’d come to dance. But this was DANCING: swinging and spinning and what have you. Fortunately, after a couple of whiskeys with picklebacks, we were right in there and it was blast. Get there early. When we left at midnight, the line stretched halfway down the block.

7. Corsair Distillery 

Visit this distillery in the old Yazoo brewery. You can sip a beer beforehand in the Corsair taproom, check out the 100-year-old pre-Prohibition-built still on the tour, pet the bowtie-wearing cat that lives in the distillery and sample some killer rye during the post-tour tasting. Extra bonus: Anyone in your group not interested in the tour can hang out at the Soda Parlor down the hall.

8. Arcade and comic books. On New Years Eve, I made the males in my family decide the itinerary. And boy, did they. We spent two hours at a great $7/hour-$10/day video game arcade on the non-tourist side of Nashville. After an hour, I bailed and went to the nicest tea shop next door. Then we went to a comic book and used album store, where the cash register guy made me feel very good about my depth and breadth of Arrow knowledge.

9. Galax, VA

No, the city of Galax, VA is not in Nashville. But it is the best place to stay for the night if you’d rather drive two five-hour stints than one 10-hour marathon. Galax is home to the historic Rex Theater which, every Friday night, hosts a live bluegrass show broadcast on WBRF 98.1. Obvious regulars come out for the lively show – they jump up for every song and politely sit down and fan themselves in between. Do yourself a favor and fuel up at the Galax Smokehouse beforehand.

Go See Old 97's. My Brother Said So.

My brother, professional choreographer Michael J. Lopez, sent me a photo that Old 97's posted today.

It's apropos for the blog because:

• The caption for this 20-year-old photo is "Seems like yesterday," a sentiment we all feel when we see pics from two decades ago.
• They're a freaking awesome alt-country-Americana band coming to play Washington D.C.'s The Hamilton Dec. 30 and 31.
• My brother is much cooler than me and when he highlights something, everyone should pay attention. 

When my brother saw this picture of me and the Old 97's lead singer, Rhett Miller (who is also a fantastic solo artist), he called me a "funky mofo." Which is awesome. Go see them play. You might get called a funky mofo, too.

How to Have Fun With Crock Pot Recipes

Fun with crock pot recipes? Follow my logic. Dicing up some ingredients and throwing them into the slow cooker in the morning means that in the evening:

• You can have a healthy meal at the end of a stressful day, rather than grabbing fast food on your drive home and adding THAT to your guilt tally. And your waistline.
• Various family members running from one activity to the next can dip out a ladle of goodness whenever they have a moment, leaving said love one properly and healthfully caloried-up for nighttime activities.
• You can do what you want to do when you get home from work -- kick off your shoes, laze on the couch and enjoy a glass of wine before dinner -- rather than hustling into the kitchen to cook.
• Hosts can actually spend their dinner parties enjoying their guests rather than trying to flambé  something while opening the door, managing coats and handing out cocktails.

See. My slow cooker allows me to get all of the goodness out of home cooking with none of the stress of cooking at the end of full day. I'm a year-round slow cooker advocate, but these are some stick-to-your-rib recipes I like to pull out for the winter months. 

Favorite weeknight crock pot recipes

Spicy Chicken Stew From All You

Spicy Chicken Stew – I double up this recipe whenever I make it. It’s so good and it only gets better as it sits. This is also my go-to when I want to share the love: Give it to a friend who wants to take a night off from making dinner and I promise they'll be asking for the recipe.

Slow Cooker Meat Loaf with Shitake Mushrooms – This is a Cooking Light recipe that is so moist and delicious that I don’t need to be dieting to enjoy it. Cooking it in the crock pot is pure genius, eliminating all the issues about dryness that you can get with oven-cooked meat loaves.

Favorite crock pot recipes for entertaining

Cola Shredded Tacos from Sunset

Slow Cooker Pulled Pork – This simple recipe from Good Housekeeping is crazy delicious. Grab some buns, a bag of chips and some pickles, and you’ve got a party for a crowd.

Cola Shredded Beef Tacos – We call these Dr. Pepper tacos at my house. The recipe calls for Mexican Coke, which I can never find, so instead I buy Dr. Pepper for the syrupy sweetness the recipe is looking for. I make these with frijoles and salsa verde, and they truly wow my guests. 

 

FAVORITE HEALTHY CROCK POT RECIPES

Slow Cooker Chicken Verde - So, yes, sometimes I’ll make the salsa verde from scratch like this recipe recommends. And sometimes I’ll buy chunky chili verde from the produce or deli aisle, puree half of it, and that’s quite alright, too.

Slow Cooker Cabbage Soup -- We're meat eaters in this house (as you may be able to tell) but I imagine you can make this with vegan sausage and it would be just as delicious. You just need something to add the spice and richness that the sausage lends.

Favorite recipes for Sunday dinner

Classic Beef Stew from Real Simple

Slow Cooker Tuscan Pot Roast -- This is a long time favorite; while it technically is a pot roast, the meat falls apart and becomes this awesome gravy that I love to ladle in shallow bowls over grilled slices of French bread. Instead of using a cup of wine, I use a half-cup of wine and a half-cup of beef broth to increase the richness.

Classic Beef Stew -- I found this in the same issue of Real Simple as the recipe above. I find both recipes to be simple, dependable recipes that provide a tasty, one-pot winter meal.

 

Have a favorite Crock Pot Recipe? Baby, It's getting cold outside and we're all going to need some good recipes to get us through the winter. please share a link to your favorite recipe in the comments below.