How to Fill the Well as a Writer

New York Times bestselling author Joan Johnston talks about the need for writers to "give yourself the opportunity to fill the well so you have something to write about," in the latest issue of Romance Writers Report. I found this so inspiring. Writers cave up, have endless deadlines, and tell victory stories about how many days in a row it's been since they've showered. Many of us, no matter our endeavors, stick our noses to the grindstones and then proudly compare how little nose we have left.

Stop it. Fill the well. Writers, if the only world you have to write about is the Bermuda Triangle of your desk-couch-fridge, I'm sorry but that book is not going to sell. Everyone else, you know you need to go have a good time.

Here are ways I like to #fillthewell. I've included A TON of links. I hope they help you discover your own inspiration!

Museums

I'm a huge fan of museum gazing in the winter time because you get shelter, exercise, and inspiration for a modest price. Here in the D.C.-area, where we have an embarrassment of museum riches, many of our museums are free. A friend and I recently went to the Smithsonian's Freer|Sackler, which has an incredible collection of Asian art. There we saw Buddhas and Chinese wine cups and dazzling Indian jewelry and the beautifully carved heads of pharaohs. Did you know that some Buddhists venerated a Lord of Burning Desire? I didn't either. But that's the kind of useful inspiration you can get when you go to your local museum.

Aizen Myoo, the Lord of Burning Desire, “avatar of sacred lust...recognizes and emphasizes the disruptive power of sexual passion” against evil.

Volunteering

My responsibilities as a volunteer force me to step away from my writer's desk and provide that glow that comes with giving time instead of getting paid for it. I've served as a docent at the Hillwood Museum in northwest D.C. for a year and that beautiful house and gardens have provided so much inspiration. I've learned a ton about strong women who can buy their own fancy houses, about the joy of sharing what you know with others, and about the pleasure of strolling through a greenhouse dripping with orchids and pretending -- just for a second -- that it belongs to you. 

Tomorrow come celebrate the oncoming spring with La Chandeleur or Crepe Day at Hillwood. Enjoy crepes, decorate your own version of priceless porcelain, and let me show you some of our incredible French treasures when I give a family-focused gallery talk at 10:30 and tours at 11:30 and 1:30. Come join me!

Booze

I want to insert this in here before I give the impression that I only enjoy heady pursuits. I like booze. I like to learn about the origin and creation of various alcohols, I like to read about burgeoning alcohol trends, I like to experiment with my own concoctions, and I like to have long-winded conversations about how cocktails are made. And I like to drink them. One of my favorite places to do all of the above is the Dogwood Tavern. Dogwood is the kind of place where the bartenders remember you, remember your drink of choice, make it spectacularly, and whip up a concoction with you if you catch them when it's slow. They'll also give you a pleasing nickname if you're a regular. Ours is "Angeleter."

Drew's Bulleit Rye Old-Fashioned

Wine

I also enjoy wine. This is my stepfather's fault. In 2009, my parents bought a 6.5-acre property in Sonoma County's Russian River Valley and started Gantz Family Vineyards. Suddenly I, who'd had a passing interest in wine, was part of a family that grew Pinot Noir grapes in one of the premiere Pinot Noir regions in the country. Things got much, much worse when they asked me to help them market the vineyard, and suddenly I had to learn about wine and winegrape growing in order to be able to communicate vaguely intelligently about it for their website and social media. This window into this incredible world helped inspire my latest book, The Billionaire's Prince, and the follow-up book that I'll begin in February. Here in D.C., my go-to spot for getting educated (and inspired) about wine is the the Capital Wine School. I rave more about it here.

Gantz Family Vineyards

Friends

I love my husband and my kids and my family. But I would be nothing without my friends. My friends are a wonderful pressure valve from the rest of my life, and whether they provide me tips on the writing industry or help me understand my kids better or share in a laugh and a glass of wine, they inspire me and help calm me so I can be open to inspiration. Some of my dearest friends can inspire you, too!

• Parenting coach Paige Trevor - Paige and I bonded over a shared love of this Jonathan Rhys Meyers lip bite 15 years ago and we've never looked back. Through classes, seminars, and one-on-one sessions, she helps parents understand the connection between an organized house and a calm and content family. As a Certified Parent Educator with PEP, Paige has trained over 1500 parents in the Washington, D.C.- area. Her weekly blog, Nifty Tips, is a funny, heartfelt, tough-love dose of realistic parenting advice.

• Author Sharon Wray - Sharon is the most generous soul I know, and a large portion of the romance writing world would agree with me. Sharon is a fount of selfless information and good cheer and believed in me as a writer when I didn't believe in myself. Her book, Every Deep Desire, a genre-bending romantic suspense reunion story set in Georgia swamps that hide a deeper, darker world, will come out on March 6.

• Life coach Wendy Reed - Wendy is the dear friend who introduced me to the concept of "living with intention." Living with intention means you live life proactively -- you choose to pursue a career as a creative professional or flirt more with your husband or be patient with your children -- rather than living life reactively, getting batted along the path that life chooses. Wendy is now taking this philosophy into her work as a professional life coach, helping people discover their own intentional life and then helping them figure out how to make it a reality.

Podcasts

Not all of my filling of the well is done out and about. I spend an impressive amount of time luxuriating in my pajamas and yoga pants. Podcasts give me inspiration when I'm emptying the dishwasher or walking the dog. My three recent favorites are:

• The Thirst Aid Kit - "Thirsting," as used by these brilliant hosts, is the act of desiring, crushing, lusting from afar that women do so well. This podcast honors that thirst -- an act that has sustained the movie industry and keeps the publishing industry afloat -- with intelligent, diversity-aware, and screamingly funny conversations about the people we thirst for and why.

• Girl in Space - Girl in Space is an audio drama about a girl in space, written and performed by a girl. This act should not seem so revolutionary. And yet this podcast has such a unique, interesting, wise, and funny point of view of sci-fi and space travel and story telling that it does seem revolutionary.

• The Wicked Wallflowers Club - I have been endlessly tweeting about this new podcast devoted to taking the shame out of romance reading. As I've said endlessly on Twitter, this podcast is like grabbing a coffee with your favorite author and smartest friends and talking about what makes romance novels great.

Please share your favorite ways to #FillTheWell in the comment box below. Fill free to include links, too, if you've got them. I love sharing the inspiration!

How Publishing to Wattpad Helped Me Fall Back in Love with Writing

In 2011, I stopped writing fiction. I'd researched, outlined, and plotted my way into hating my writing process. My thin skin and the rejection letters didn't help, either.

But in 2014, I discovered Wattpad. Described by some as the YouTube for ebooks, Wattpad is an app that allows writers to share their work and readers to read, follow, and comment. It encourages serialized posting of chapters, and many writers write from their phones. For me, a writer who'd spent three months researching and outlining her last attempted book and then couldn't get through the first chapter, this felt like freedom.

Four years later and with a finished book under my belt, I can honestly say that Wattpad gave me back my love of writing.

How? Wattpad allowed me to:

Break stultifying writing habits

In the first fevered days of trying out the Wattpad app, I wrote the following in my bio:

"I've always been my worst critic, and my fiction writing became paralyzed by my editing. Discovering Wattpad was a godsend because I just write and publish; beyond checking for typos and spelling errors, I work really hard to not let my judgey self get in the way of my Muse."

For years, I bound myself in chain after chain of writing "how-tos." Wattpad, with its phone-to-app publishing, its generous fans, and its encouragement to publish chapter-by-chapter rather than in whole book form, supported experimentation. Throw it at the wall and see what stuck. Don't like it? Erase it.

I felt like I could breathe again. More importantly, I felt like I could write again.

Connect with readers

The hardest part about putting a book under my bed that had been rejected by traditional publishing was the realization that my characters were never going to live and breathe in the minds of readers. I felt like I'd let my characters down. I felt like I'd killed them.

Wattpad connected my characters to readers, and the readers gave my characters life.

I was strategic about finding fans. I made my first book, Desperately Seeking, fanfiction by turning my hero into Oliver Queen from the hit TV show Arrow. It wasn't a hardship handing over my story idea -- what if a young widow placed a personal ad for "occasional companionship" -- to the gorgeous Stephen Amell.

And it allowed me to tag the story and access fans who otherwise might have overlooked me. Desperately Seeking now has 169,000 reads and I'm connected to 900 fans, a number which makes my little brain shiver.

The whole point, as I previously mentioned, was to HAVE PEOPLE READ MY WRITING.

Read fans' reactions

Not only can people read my book, that can comment on it, line by line. They can comment on their thoughts of the chapter. They can add it to reading lists with heartwarming titles like, "Could Read It Over and Over Again."

Reading people's immediate visceral responses is awesome and terrifying. I am blessed that my interactions have been 100 percent positive. I realize that not everyone is and will be this lucky. As an experienced social media manager, I am quick and ready with the delete, mute, and block buttons.

But I have been blessed, and it's amazing to see what resonates with people, what make them cry or yearn, what scenes fall flat, and what surprises you about what surprises them. People tell you when they've learned something about themselves through your book, and that immediacy is something that other reading platforms can't (yet) mimic.

Vet ideas

The book I’m posting on Wattpad, The Billionaire's Prince, (author’s note: this was an early draft of Lush Money, now available from Carina Press) began with the idea: "What if the billionaire CEO was a woman?" I thought it up while I was visiting my parents in California, laptop free, and was so intrigued by the concept that I posted a cover and a blurb to Wattpad -- from my phone -- with no sense yet of what would exist beyond the cover.

"Three days a month. That's all the billionaire wants from him. Or rather, three nights. Three nights a month for a year, and at the end, she will divorce him with a settlement large enough to save the small European principality that means everything to him. All the wealthy CEO wants? Three long, hot nights a month in her bed. And his heir."

All those details -- three nights a month, the settlement, the European principality -- I literally thought up in the five minutes it took me to write the blurb. I tacked on "and his heir" as an after thought.

The concept received so many votes and comments right off the bat that I knew it was an idea that had promise. Wattpad, with its 65 million monthly visitors who spend 15 BILLION minutes per month reading, is a wonderful place to try out a title, a chapter, an idea, and see if it has legs.

Find a writing community

The fears I had of showing my work to a critique group, a writing friend, or a judging panel were quickly overcome by the "show it to the world" nature of the Internet. I originally wrote under a pseudonym, but don't anymore. Wattpad forced me to be brave and get over my stage fright.

And in revealing myself, I've found a community of supportive, kickass writers who cheerlead me through chapters, create fanart for me, advocate for me to their readers, and invite me to new opportunities.

Wattpad superstar Fallon DeMornay has mentioned me multiple times in interviews as one of her favorite writers on Wattpad, an honor that knocks me out every time it happens. I will re-pay her one day by showering her in diamonds, cocktails, and attractive men who know how to salsa.

In 2015, I was invited to take part in a Wattpad Valentine's Day anthology by USA Today bestselling author Michelle Jo Quinn. It forced me to write the first short story I'd written in years, and The Phone Call became one of my favorite babies.

Keep ass in chair

My bio mentioned that I've always been my worst critic and that critic can lead me to take loooooooooong breaks, breaks when working for clients or planning family events or cleaning the fridge can all seem more appealing and compelling than finishing my book.

But Wattpad readers have this pesky habit of letting you know when they love you and your work. "Update please," "Update soon," "Update now please soon," are all comments that make Wattpad authors climb the wall. Now, instead of just a dusty keyboard, I have actual human beings telling me that I'm being a slacker and I need to get back to work.

There is NOTHING more motivating to keep my butt in the chair and my hands typing away than the pressure of readers excited and anxious for my words. It's awful. It's terrific. It's awfully terrific, and I'm so grateful that Wattpad has given me the opportunity to connect with readers who give a crap about my writing.

Inspiring Words for Writers

The day-to-day grind of completing a book can sometimes leave me little time or energy for seeking inspiration. That sounds counterintuitive, but that's just the sad way my process works. But now, in the lovely lull between books, finding and absorbing inspiration is an imperative -- especially as my brain turns from "creating" to "marketing", which can be such an oppressive process.

Here are some of the recent books and articles I've discovered to me keep focused on how lucky I am to be a writer -- and away from such words as "grind," "sad," and "oppressive."

"Reaching the Next Rung," Romance Writers Report, Jan. 2018

Several authors are quoted in this article from the January 2018 issue of the Romance Writers of America magazine, but my favorite advice came from bestselling author Joan Johnston. Joan offers great actionable advice for a long-term career:

• Schedule your time so writing is a priority.

• Make personal contacts with agents and editors who attend conferences.

• Form a review crew to post digital reviews of your novel. (I'd never heard of his before. Contact me if you're interested.)

• Do a newsletter at least once a month to stay in touch with readers.

She also says:

"You must give yourself the opportunity to fill the well so you have something to write about."

This is so obvious, but with demands of writing, marketing, working, and taking care of the family and the house, so easily forgotten. It reminded me to embrace the fun in my life as necessary. #Fillthewell is my new favorite social media hashtag.

Be the Gateway, A Practical Guide to Sharing Your Creative Work and Engaging an Audience by Dan Blank

I'm a longtime fan of author coach Dan Blank, who's great at offering advice that's tough yet caring for the creative spirit. This book about marketing for creative professionals blew my mind.

"Be the gateway. ... Instead of selling a product in a marketplace, you become the gateway for how your work can shape the world the world for others and inspire them."

The thesis of this book is that rather than focusing on the sell of your creative work, focus on sharing the messages that are important to you. Dan points out that, through our creative efforts, we've created this amazing conduit for sharing the beliefs that shape us. Don't waste that conduit on screaming about the 99-cent sale. Instead, share what you're passionate about. By framing the world for others in ways they can identify with or find value in, we create advocates. People don't want "deals;" they want to believe in something.

Dan puts it simply:

"Tell me about the conversations you would love to be having with others."

Mind blown. I could suddenly see my social media, marketing, newsletters, etc., as an opportunity instead of a burden. I made a list of the themes that are important to me: strong women and the confident men who love them that way, discovering your integral self, enthusiasm and compassion for a diverse world, the grandeur and value of healthy romantic partnerships, the value of filling the well... The list goes on

With Dan's practical tips on how to implement his mind-blowing ideas, I look forward to indoctrinating all of you.

Pep Talks for Writers, 52 Insight and Actions to Boost Your Creative Mojo by Grant Faulkner

Grant Faulkner, the Executive Director of National Novel Writing Month, helps support the dreams and energies of almost 400,000 writers who participate in November's writing sprint. So he knows a lot about pep talks.

He's a dedicated writer himself; we worked at the same newspaper in our 20s and when my husband and I invited him out for a weekend brunch, he said no because he had to stay home and write. In Pep Talk's 52 short and inspiring chapters with titles like "Make Your Creativity into a Routine," "Fail Often...Fail Better," and "Persisting Through Rejection," he's able to pair his passion and skill for writing with practical, soul-enriching advice.

"Approaching the world with a creative mindset is wildly transforming--because suddenly you're not accepting the world as it's delivered to you, but living through your vision of life."

He's an advocate for the creator and speaks to the person who needs to keep their feet on the ground (or their ass in the seat) when their head is in the clouds. I love this paragraph about finding your own inspiration:

"...You are the all-powerful God that sends those words--those story-igniting lightning bolts--into a world that's coming to life before your own eyes. You are your own muse."

The Wise Heart, A Guide to the Universal Teaching of Buddhist Psychology by Jack Kornfield

After a tough second semester in college, my son came home early last spring. I desperately needed to get out of my head, out of my anxiety and worry, and a dear friend handed me this book.

The Wise Heart is a wonderful way to reset. Instead of thinking that we can control everything and that all of our beliefs are true, psychologist Jack Kornfield helps guide you through Buddhist teachings that help you think bigger, more holistically, and a little softer.

We think so many things horrible things about ourselves, and for authors, that can be especially true: We're not writing enough, we're not marketing enough, we're not getting any better, everything we do sucks. This book helps you to be kinder and more compassionate to yourself and the people around you. A phrase he asks you to recite, that I think can be especially effective for the author:

May I be held in compassion. May my pain and sorrow be eased. My I be at peace.

---

I'm always looking for inspiration.

Please tell me about a recent book, song, movie, painting, comic, or squiggle on the sidewalk that inspired you.

What to Ask An Agent Before You Sign

Imagine getting "the call": an agent calls and offers to represent you. After you scream and cry and run around the house, what do you ask the agent to make sure that this is the person with whom you can entrust your career?

I had no idea, either. 

With a completed book under my belt and a full manuscript out to agents, I realized I needed to be better prepared. So I took to Facebook, where I'm connected to a supportive and information-rich network of authors thanks to my years of membership with the Washington Romance Writers of DC, and asked the following question:

Below are some of the phenomenal answers. Romance and fantasy author Fallon DeMornay pointed me to this fantastic blog from her agent, Jim McCarthy of Dystel, Goderich & Bourret, and many of the questions are from that truly helpful article.

• Why do you believe in my work?

• What is your plan to build my career beyond this first novel?

• How involved will you get in revisions before you submit it to an editor?

• What about my book did you respond to?

• How much revision do you think will be necessary? Are you expecting minimal changes or a major rewrite?

• What's your editorial style?

• How long have you been with your agency? What support do you have in your agency? What connections do you have to the romance world?

• How many clients do you have?

• What is your typical response time to email/phone calls?

• How do you like to communicate (email vs. phone)? And how often do you communicate during a submission?

• What happens if you don't sell this book? Revise? Something new? Part ways?

• How many editors do you go to before giving up? How does your submission process work?

• What percentage of projects that you sign do you sell?

• How long is your average client relationship?

• Who do you work with to sell foreign/film rights? Do you handle contracts? Rights? If not, who does?

• What does your agency agreement look like?

• Can I speak to one or two of your clients about their experiences working with you?

Historical romance author Sally MacKenzie also shared with me a blog she'd written about choosing an agent. She has wonderful suggestions for things to consider before you sign on the dotted line.

Did I want an agent who read my work and gave me editorial feedback or one who considered her job only to sell? Was it important to me to be with a Big Name Agency? Would I mind being a small fish in a big pond? Would I care if I didn’t work with my Big Name Agent but with her assistant instead? How did I want to communicate with my agent—snail mail, phone, email—and how quickly did I want to hear back from her? Was she based in New York City—and did I think her location was at all important? Did I care if my agent was male or female?

I still plan to do all the screaming and crying and running if and when I get "the call." But thanks to some dear friends, I'm better armed to make sure that the agent I sign with can help me keep my dream going.

---

Want to learn more about the writing journey from unpublished to (hopefully) published?

What I Learned In The 7 Years Between Completing Novels

Update, January 2020: I wrote this soon after I completed The Billionaire’s Prince, Now Titled Lush MOney and Available now. What an incredible journey it’s been!

In 2011, I finished a book. I sweated over it, I celebrated it, I won a contest with it, and then, when I received, like, eight rejections for it (I'm not kidding), I threw it under the proverbial bed and declared that I was done with fiction writing.

Perhaps I wasn't quite as dramatic as all that, but it still wasn't pretty.

Now, seven years later, after starting a successful freelance business that forced me to write quickly and daily, after discovering the joys of writing serially to enthusiastic fans on Wattpad, and after completing a 50,000-word fanfic and a short story that I'm incredibly proud of, I've completed another book.

On Dec. 18, 2017, I gave myself the Christmas present of completing The Billionaire's Prince (now titled Lush Money), a story about a sexy female billionaire who strikes a bargain with a prince. In return for three nights a month in his bed, she will give him enough money to save his kingdom. All she wants is three nights a month in his bed for a year. And his heir.

I know. Juicy.

Everything has changed about the world of romance fiction since 2011. Fortunately, everything about how I write has changed, too.

I'm a "yes-er" instead of a "no-er."

I remember sitting at the back of the room at a Washington Romance Writers' retreat, arms crossed, as Angela James of Carina Press, Harlequin's digital-first imprint, told us about the future of online books. This would have been...2009? My girlfriend and I declared that we would NEVER limit our beautiful books to the digital world.

Yep, I said that.

My tiny little mind has grown beyond those early limitations and now I'm excited about what technology has offered us storytellers. The scrolling panels of online comics, the serial pacing of reader/writer platforms like Wattpad and Radish, and the "let's throw it at the wall and see what sticks" mode of modern-day storytelling have taught me the freedom unleashed by technology. Our ability to tell a story in a way that best meets the needs of that story is only limited by our imagination. And our stubbornly crossed arms.

I've turned down my perfectionist knob.

I became a docent at the Hillwood Museum in Washington, D.C., this year, and during my training, our brilliant instructors shared with us the concept of "good but growing." Professional athletes at the top of their field don't rest on their laurels, they explained. Instead, they continue to work and train.

I found this concept revolutionary.

Instead of trying to become the "perfect" author, I should look at myself as "good but growing." I will always be learning. I will always be training and changing.  And instead of assessing the work through the lens of "perfect," I should think of its "keeps and changes." What should be kept? What should be changed? This assessment takes away (somewhat) the sting of objective criticism.

More importantly, this whole concept of "good but growing" keeps me from trying to reach the imprisoning retirement home of "perfection" and instead allows me to stay out on the open road.

I stayed true to my own voice and path.

My mom likes to talk about the freedoms that come with age, and while I roll my eyes when she talks this way (because I'm a daughter and she's the mom), I also have to agree with her.

Yes, mom.

Because Lush Money was written using myself as true north. It was written saying things I wanted to say about strong women and supportive men and love and sex and family and self-image. I plan to take this compass into the submission process and, hopefully, the publishing process. I'm old enough now to understand that a dream achieved without listening to the directives of your heart is no dream at all.

I've transformed into a pantser.

Seven years ago, I would have sworn to you that I can't write a book without knowing exactly where it was going.

And then, I tried to write three books with elaborate outlines and notecards and emotional arcs and mountains of research. I hated them. I spent three months doing prep work for the last book I attempted, even taking an intensive course about establishing story theme. I literally could not get through the first chapter.

I began the popular fanfiction piece I wrote on Wattpad with nothing but a threat I offer my husband when he doesn't take good physical care of himself: "If you die young, I'm going to take your life insurance money and buy a gigolo." I began writing Lush Money with one single solitary concept: What if the billionaire was a woman? I was as surprised by the twists and turns in that story as the readers. I knew my hero had a sister five seconds before she burst into the room. The photographer who caught my couple de flagrante surprised me as much as he did the couple.

I'm sure my writing method will twist and turn over time as much as my stories. That's because I'm good. But growing.

I'm in love.

I can build kingdoms. I can create corporations and birth beautiful villages in the Spanish mountains and swirl together the most delectable glass of red wine you've ever tasted.

I can make you sweat and break your heart. Don't worry, I'm usually crying right there with you.

And then I take a break for lunch.

"If you don't create, you hurt yourself," says Grant Faulkner in his book, Pep Talks for Writers. "Making art tells you who you are. Making art in turn makes you."

I make myself everyday when I sit down to write. When the words feel stifled, I make myself into someone grouchy and mean, wondering why everything pokes and fits too small until I remember, "Oh yeah, I had a shitty writing day."

But when the words flow, I make myself into something glorious. I find all kinds of joy in this life, but there is nothing that makes me feel more powerful, more capable, more worthy of my place here on this planet than a good day of writing my romance novel.

I've found love. I won't give it up again.

Enjoy Dazzling Jewels and Dresses at the Hillwood Estate

Jewels and dresses.

What more does a museum need?

My favorite museum in Washington, D.C., the Hillwood Estate, Museum and Gardens (perhaps it's my favorite because I'm a docent there), has two perfect ladies-who-lunch exhibits right now:

• "Spectacular Gems and Jewelry" which showcases 50 pieces of Marjorie Merriweather Post's jewelry, many of which can usually only be seen at the Natural History Museum.
• And "A Perfect Fit: Oldric Royce and Marjorie Merriweather Post" which displays 11 of the stunning dresses that luxury designer Oldric Royce created for Post.

Marjorie Merriweather Post was the owner of the Postum Cereal Company, which later became the General Foods Corporation, and one of the richest women in the United States before her death in 1973. She also was a renowned collector -- her beautiful Georgian home in the midst of 25 acres of trees and gardens in Northwest D.C. is the museum she left for all of us to enjoy her French and Russian Imperial decorative arts collection. Here you can see the furniture, porcelain, and tapestries that once belonged to European nobility and that Post used to entertain and educate congress people, ambassadors, high school students, and returning Vietnam War veterans.

Her collecting enthusiasm extended to her clothes and jewelry.

"Spectacular," which will be in the Adirondack Building behind the house until Jan. 7, 2018, gathers together 50 of her most notable pieces of jewelry, including the mammoth pear-shaped diamond earrings that once belonged to Marie Antoinette and the Cartier emerald-and-diamond brooch with its 250 carats of 17th century Mughal emeralds. Post's collection is notable because of the historic origins of some of her pieces, the designers she worked with (like Cartier, Henry Winston, and Van Cleef & Arpels), and the fact that she chose most of the pieces herself, rather than having them gifted to her. Always the philanthropist, Post donated many of the pieces to the Smithsonian's Natural History Museum, where they are usually displayed in the National Gem Collection Gallery.

Marie Antoinette earrings

Seven carved 17th century Mughal emeralds

Napoleon I gave this necklace to his second wife, Marie Louise

Marjorie Post called this tiara "Anna."

Burmese pearls, diamonds and moonstones

Henry Winston's "White" style

Van Cleef & Arpels

This magnificent Cartier clasp was meant to be worn with evening gowns with low-cut backs

The 40-carat sapphire and its cascading diamonds can be worn separately as a brooch

We docents are very happy to have these beautiful pieces back home for a visit.

Post also worked with some of the top fashion designers of her day, and the exhibit "A Perfect Fit: Oldric Royce and Marjorie Merriweather Post," currently displayed in Post's bedroom, shows off 11 beautiful dresses that Royce created for Post during their 25-year relationship. Royce designed dresses for Mamie Eisenhower, Eleanor Roosevelt, and ultimately Marjorie Merriweather Post. They had the kind of relationship where they sent each other thank you notes for thank you notes, where Royce designed her dresses even after he retired, where he walked fabric samples over to Bob Shoes so her shoes would perfectly match her dress. "I always try to please my customers," Royce wrote to Marjorie, "but you are one of the very few who take the time to tell me that I succeeded."

No better words describe this beautiful, powerful, dazzling lady. 

---

Hillwood Estate, Museum and Gardens

 

On Thursday evenings throughout October, Hillwood will be hosting the Spectacular Lecture Series where renowned jewelry experts will discuss aspects of historical and contemporary jewelry. Tickets for the theater are sold out, but Hillwood will be providing a live simulcast in an adjacent building for $5.

• Hollywood Glamour: Jewelry from the Silver Screen, Oct. 19, 5:30-8 p.m.

• Contemporary Interest in Gems and Jewelry, Oct. 26, 5:30-8 p.m.

8 Podcasts to Distract You From the End of the World

Looking at the Apple Podcasts top chart is like taking a glance at our national anxieties. On Monday of this week, the number one most popular podcast was "Cults." "Stay Tuned with Preet" with his premiere podcast "The Time President Trump Fired Me" is number 2. Among the Top 20 list are "The Fall Line," a true-crime serial about marginalized communities in Georgia, "The American War," "Pod Save America," and "Zealot." Which is ANOTHER podcast about cults.

I'm all about staying up-to-date on current events. My Twitter feed is full of outraged observations about the latest atrocity committed by our administration -- interspersed with tweets about fun outings, cocktails, and Project Runway.

But the times when I listen to podcasts -- on the road in traffic, at the gym first thing in the god-dang morning, making dinner at the end of a long-long day -- are not the ideal times for me to get fired up about our administration or terrified for the future of my two kids. So below are a list of my favorite podcasts that work as a distraction from the woes, generally thanks to great storytelling, fascinating topics, astonishing research and -- sometimes -- smooth-jazz, tickle-your-ear voices.

C'mon, get happy! Let these podcasts chase all your cares away.

We're Alive (audio drama)

What better to distract you from the actual end of the world than a podcast about the pretend end of the world? A search for entertaining, sweep-me-away audio (when times weren't quite so dank) is what led me to podcasts, and thank God I was searching when this audio drama about a zombie apocalypse was still top of the charts. "We're Alive," created by KC Wayland who recently produced "Bronzeville" with Laurence Fishburne, is a three-season, 48-chapter series that follows a band of survivors in LA after it's hit with zombies. Great writing, sound effects, and acting have you enmeshed in the story from go, and I became as tied to these characters as I am tied to my Games of Thrones loves. My loyalty was rewarded -- "We're Alive" has perhaps the best and most satisfying series finale of any story I've ever engaged in, regardless of the medium ("Dexter" and "True Blood" should have taken notes).

Stuff You Missed in History Class (history)

Two hosts, Tracy V. Wilson and Holly Frey, provide entertaining and insightful summations of lesser known historical events. I was drawn to "Missed in History" by their more gruesome history lessons -- they've done episodes on "Lizzie Borden and Her Axe," the "New England Vampire Panic," and "The Case of the Colorado Cannibal" -- but more valuable are their dives into historical events by or affecting women, people of color, or others who didn't write the history books. I learned more about "The Tulsa Race Riot" in their 36-minute episode than I ever did in my six years sitting in Tulsa classrooms.

How to Be Amazing with Michael Ian Black (interview)

I'm not a fan of "cult-of-personality" interview podcasts -- so often the interviewer just wants to talk to the interviewee about all the times they've worked together. So why do I listen to comedian and actor Michael Ian Black? He makes his interviewees cry. He has this habit of asking these really balls-to-the-walls questions that you assume the subject would never answer -- and yet he asks them in a way that is very caring. Caring in a kind of New York, in-your-face way. And then the subject answers and cries. I was shocked by what Project Runway's Tim Gunn shared with him. I wanted to sit at the feet of Barefoot Contessa Ina Garten and soak up her wisdom after her interview. And I'm pretty sure he made ultimate smart ass Megan Mullally cry, too.

The Adventure Zone (story telling)

I downloaded "The Adventure Zone," a podcast of three adult brothers playing Dungeons & Dragons with their dad, as a gift to my son who was stuck in the car with me as we drove to visit colleges. The decision nearly proved lethal. As we whipped along the always-packed and suicidal I-70, I was laughing so hard I couldn't see. I literally considered pulling onto the shoulder. The McElroy Brothers -- Justin, Travis and Griffin -- gained podcasting fame with the advice show "My Brother, My Brother and Me." "The Adventure Zone" was a whim while they were taking paternity leave. It proved to be a three-year-long love affair with fanciful story telling, dice throwing, and the unique comedy that can come about when four people love each other and can annoy the holy living crap out of each other. Just trust me. Check it out.

Criminal

I don't know how to categorize this show, which is the highest compliment I can pay it. Calling it "true crime" lumps it in with all the other whodunits, and "Criminal" is soooooo much more than a voyeuristic poke into a family or community's pain. "Criminal" is a subtle-and-curious look into the community of crime -- the people who record it (a courtroom sketch artist), the people who are victimized by it (like this daughter), and the people who sink into tar pits to try to uncover it. My favorite episode, a truly courageous episode by host and co-creator Phoebe Judge, is this one about people who research decomposition. By the way, Phoebe earns my vote for best female podcasting voice. It's like butter.

Social Media Marketing Podcast (biz)

This new communication beast we call social media changes daily. Hourly. With twice weekly podcasts, the "Social Media Marketing Podcast" helps me keep up. Host and founder Michael Stelzner interviews guests with his listeners in mind -- whenever guests dive down the rabbit hole of their specialty, he pulls them back and asks them to explain it for the rest of us. This podcast serves the place of a university course in social media marketing -- clients, you now know my trick. Please don't fire me.

In the Dark (true crime)

This expertly researched and reported podcast does what so many other true crime podcasts fail to do: provide a larger picture of what it all means. "In the Dark" looks at the disappearance of Jacob Wetterling, an 11-year Minnesota boy who disappeared in the midst of the stranger-danger frenzy of the '80s. But more than just poking at the crime, reporter Madeleine Baran puts together an alarming look at how little oversight there is over our nation's sheriff's departments and how little accountability they have. Jacob Wetterling's murderer came forward just one week before "In the Dark" began -- the true mystery was not how killer Danny Heinrich got away with it for so long, but how the Stearns County Sheriff's department did such a horrible job.

The Bright Sessions (audio drama)

"The Bright Sessions" has everything you could want out of an audio drama: adventure, romance, time travel, and telepathy. But creator Lauren Shippen has added a little something extra to this story line about a group of 20-somethings struggling to live with their special mental abilities, abilities that allow them to read minds or feel other's emotions or coerce people. There's a distinct "femaleness" to the whole presentation, which as an audio-drama lover accustomed to so many male-driven stories, I really appreciate. She nails the personal connections among all the characters.

Since I need A LOT of distraction these days, I'm always looking for new podcasts. What are your favorites podcasts? Please let me know in the comments below.

Drinking and Dining at District Winery

I'm a huge fan of wine tasting and the Virginia vineyard scene. What I am NOT such a huge fan of is the hour drive to get to most of our local vineyards (if you live inside the Beltway) and the hour drive home.

The newly opened District Winery makes a phenomenal tasting and dinner just a Lyft away.

D.C.'s first winery opened over Labor Day weekend at its beautiful Navy Yard location and you can bet I was one of the first through its doors. When we arrived on the Saturday before Labor Day, there was already an hour wait for tastings of its Brooklyn-made wines. Its incredible location in the heart of the Navy Yard made that effortless -- we strolled the boardwalk and then got a rosé cocktail at Whaley’s just across the plaza while we waited.

District Winery is the second winery opened by co-owners Brian Leventhal and John Stires, who opened the Brooklyn Winery in 2010 with head winemaker Conor McCormack. On the day we visited, Brian Leventhal was greeting guests, shaking hands, and sweeping up a dropped wineglass. When we stopped to compliment him on the awesomeness of the place, he invited us back to the winery, where Conor McCormack was punching down Pinot Noir. For now, D.C. guests will be enjoying the wines produced from California and Finger Lakes grapes in the Brooklyn winery. But soon, we'll be quaffing wine made right here in the District.

I'm helping. Punch down of Pinot Noir.

Tasting is a loud but low-pressure experience. The two-story glass walls -- offering views of the Anacostia, the boardwalk and the pretty plaza -- made it a little hard to hear our tasting room host talk about the wines. It fortunately did not affect the flavor. The wines, ranging from a Finger Lakes Reisling to a Sonoma Valley Cabernet Sauvignon, were delicious and effortlessly drinkable in a way you can’t always guarantee in some further-away Virginia wineries where sometimes the focus seems to be more on the tourism experience than the quality of the wines. The District Winery definitely led with quality first. Two particular favorites were the Suison Valley, CA Pinot Reserve and the Malbec, also from Suison Valley, CA . The skin-contact Chardonnay was also really unique, with a glowy, honey-orange color.

We returned two weeks later to try the restaurant, Ana at District Winery, and -- I'm not kidding -- when you eat there, you will think I buried the lead. Ana offers seasonal American fare that compliments the District Winery wines  -- and it's fricking delicious. We started with the Heirloom Tomatoes and the Crab Beignets, which actually complimented each other really well, and we fought over who got to wipe up the beignets' romesco sauce with the last bit of whatever. The tomatoes were served with a goat cheese spread between triangles of sourdough; they were like fancy grilled-cheese sandwiches. My husband got the buttery Amish Chicken -- he always hates it when I out him for ordering the chicken -- but I definitely won with the Pan Roasted Atlantic Cod. The skin-crisped fish was served in a bowl with an outstanding dashi at the bottom and two chanterelle ravioli. The filling of the ravioli was sweet and creamy and a perfect compliment for the salty broth and fish. I got obnoxious with my yummy sounds.

The glass windows don't seem to create the same noise issues in the dining room -- hubby and I had no problem hearing each other and we had a fabulous view of the lit-up South Capital Street bridge and the riverwalk along the Anacostia River. Pedestrians outside stopped to take in the painted portraits of American presidents lined up on the dining room wall -- painted by a Brooklyn Winery bartender, they literally supplied 30 minutes of conversation for us and also sparked chatter with the next table -- and its fun to look at the people passing by while they look at you while you look at them...

I forgot to mention -- when we entered the dining room that night, co-owner Brian Leventhal was also there, holding the door for us and shaking the hands of entering dinner guests. One thing I've always enjoyed about Virginia wine tasting is the welcoming atmosphere. District Winery is making sure you get that same experience in the bustle of D.C.

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District Winery

Tasting Bar Hours: There is a substantial wait on the weekends. Come prepared to stroll...

• Mon to Thurs, 1pm - 9pm
• Fri to Sat, 12pm - 11pm
• Sun, 12pm - 9pm

Ana at District Winery:

• Mon to Thurs, 5pm - 10pm
• Fri to Sat, 5pm - 11pm
• Sun, 5pm - 9pm

Want to discover more fun to-dos in the Navy Yard? Check out my blog An Awesome Anacostia Riverwalk Walk.

A Taste of Vegas at the MGM National Harbor

My husband and I decided to play hooky last week and spent an afternoon and evening at the new MGM National Harbor. With so many high-end restaurants, craft cocktail bars, entertainment options, and a gorgeous Asian-inspired aesthetic, we could have been there longer, could have eeked out a few more hours enjoying a atmosphere that reminded us of our favorite casino resorts in Las Vegas.

While the mind and body were willing, the wallet was weak.

MGM National Harbor, with its silver tower glittering over the Potomac and viewable from Alexandria, is not a cheap place to spend the evening. But if you're looking for a bit of the service, sophistication, and unapologetic adult decadence that Vegas offers without the plane flight, MGM National Harbor is an worthy substitute.

High-end eats

The MGM National Harbor has called upon some of the D.C.-area's most-loved chefs to create high-end dining experiences that lure those -- like us -- who don't gamble. Fish by José Andrés and the Voltaggio Brothers Steak House are evening-only restaurants. Marcus, by Marcus Samuelsson, is an all-day restaurant that also provides the room service menu. 

During our dinner at the Steak House, we enjoyed some of the best and most personable wait staff we've had in the D.C. area. The Voltaggio brothers have designed the place with the homey feel of your mom's house -- if your mom was the coolest, most sophisticated hostess on the East Coast. There's a dining room and a family room and a bar in the study. You drink out of finely etched glass. There's an echo of Vegas in the design theatrics of the place, that surreal sense that you're not in "normal" adult land anymore, and it was a satisfying part of the evening. Do I really need to mention the steaks? Of course they were outstanding. And the rolls -- amazing.

My husband, wisely, steered us away from the expensive lunch I wanted and toward the food court, where we had some truly kickass Shake Shack burgers. But the National Market offers a lot more variety than your average food court. I could have also gone for the crab cakes, banh mis, chicken and doughnuts, or the ice cream. Oh wait. I did go for the ice cream.

Craft cocktail bars

Drinks are not free in the casino -- you will pay that lovely strolling cocktail waitress for what you order. And while the Old Fashioned I had at the casino bar was good, the Old Fashioned from The Lobby Bar was outstanding. 

There are many places to get a delicious cocktail at the MGM National Harbor -- in all the restaurants, at the Tap Sports Bars, in the upscale Felt and and Blossom cocktail lounges inside the casino -- but The Lobby Bar might be my new favorite bar in the D.C. area. I know, that's saying a lot about a hotel bar. But in the back, they've got barrels of your favorite liquor specifically barreled for their bar. They've got smooth sipping tequilas that only cost you an arm; that will cost you an additional leg anywhere else. They've got bartenders that flame up the orange peel before rimming the glass, making that Old Fashioned one of the best of the many I've tasted. And they've got bartenders who will be as sweet as pie or give you all of the sass that you sit at the bar to get.

I'm not kidding. Don't miss The Lobby Bar.

Entertainment

Did I mention that we don't gamble? We don't. Because we're bad at it. 

Unfortunately, we forgot that we don't gamble at the MGM National Harbor's casino, so we lost money. Fast. Quarter slot machines were the cheapest ones we could find -- yes, there were penny machines, but those machines required a minimum of 50-cent bets. The cheapest tables were $25 bets. Perhaps there are cheaper tables hiding in the casino's hinterlands, but we couldn't find them. 

I won $15. This is when I should have walked away.

If you go to MGM National Harbor to gamble, I hope you're better at it than we are.

The 3,000-seat theater will be probably be a better entertainment option for us the next time we visit. The day we were there, the resort was thronged with emo kids and their parents waiting for the Panic at the Disco show. Sting plays at the theater on Sunday, and Cher is currently in residence, playing several nights in March and then back again in September.

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Hillwood Museum: A Docent-in-Training View

In January, I began a six-month effort to become a docent at the Hillwood Estate, Museum and Gardens off of Connecticut Avenue in Washington, D.C. To do so will require a six-month crash course in French and Russian decorative arts, thousands of pages of reading, weekly three-hour classes, four presentations, and a promise that, once the course is completed, I will serve at Hillwood as a docent a minimum of eight hours a month.

Did I mention that all of this is as a volunteer?

And I'm not the only crazy one. There are 30 of us in class, 30 of 100 people who applied to give away hours and hours of their time in the service of telling the story of businesswoman, heiress, philanthropist, and collector Marjorie Merriweather Post.

Why? Because Hillwood is fabulous. 

A dinner party at Hillwood began in the French Drawing Room, where you enjoyed a cocktail, strolled out to the gardens, and were invited by Marjorie Post to touch, sit in, and enjoy her 18th-century French furniture and art.

Post, who inherited the Postum Cereal Company and evolved it into General Foods, bought Hillwood in 1955 for the express purpose of sharing her astonishing collection of 18th-century French and imperial-era Russian furniture, porcelain, art, and glorious things that sparkle with the public. There, she entertained congressmen who dined on plates made for Catherine the Great, she invited high school students to relax into her 200-year-old French chairs, and she strolled with wounded veterans across her flower-bordered lawn, the Washington Monument easily in view.

Post fed her lucky guests off Russian imperial porcelain plates. The dining room is currently set with the porcelain service created to honor the coronation of Tsar Nicholas I in 1826. I learned that last week.

See? Fabulous. At Hillwood, Post enshrined a way of life -- and a generosity of spirit -- that is lost. Her life of decorum and rules -- she always supplied heel caps for the ladies square-dancing on her hardwood floors -- also included square-dancing. That same sense of fun and enjoying yourself is still an essential part of the Hillwood visit: guests can tour the house with a docent or on their own, kids can explore the vast and varied gardens and the pet cemetery, flower lovers can spend hours sniffing the 2,000 orchids in the greenhouse, and ladies who lunch can order a glass of wine at the cafe.

I imagine I'll be mentioning Hillwood a lot here on In Between in D.C.; I've already told everyone I know about the 60-piece jewelry exhibit, Spectacular Gems and Jewelry from the Merriweather Post Collection, that will be opening in June. It'll be opening right about the time that a class of 30 new docents will come on board. 

Come visit. Be kind (we'll be a little nervous). And be careful. Hillwood opens its doors to new docents every 3-5 years. You, too, could catch the devotion to fabulousness.

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exhibitons at the Hillwood Museum

Post and daughter, Nedenia. Nedenia will grow up to become actress Dina Merrill. The emerald brooch by Cartier will be part of the Spectacular exhibit.

• Four Seasons - The gargantuan Philip Haas sculptures interpreting Giuseppe Arcimboldo’s celebrated botanical paintings will be on view in the garden until March 31.

• Friends and Fashion - Using forty-five portraits from an album of an American diplomat in 1820s Russia, the exhibit explores the people, politics, fashion, and hairstyles of a glamorous St. Petersburg. Displayed in the Dacha, the exhibit will run through June 11.

• Spectacular Gems and Jewelry - Nearly 60 pieces of jewelry that belonged to Marjorie Merriweather Post, some given to and on loan from the Smithsonian's Museum of Natural History, will be on display from June 10 to January 14, 2018.

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