“Lopez …makes a profound statement about being an American amid absolutely mind-blowing sex scenes. It’s her ability to balance these lascivious passages with pointed, meaningful storytelling that sets her work apart and makes her a writer worth returning to again and again.”--Maureen Lee Lenker, Entertainment Weekly
I like sex scenes. Before I began writing, sex scenes were my favorite part of the book. They were what I would read over and over again, as you can tell by the bends in my paperbacks. It’s easy to dismiss this as horny inclinations, but that would too easily dismiss the value and distinctiveness of the romance novel genre.
In mysteries, we love the unwinding of the whodunnit. In horror novels, we love the slow creep down the hall to the terrifying reveal. These books create a feeling that readers sign up for when they buy them.
A great romance novel captures the visceral sensation of falling in love. It is a sensation that has launched a thousand ships and sent people into murder and madness. It is not to be trivialized. Many authors, myself included, consider physical chemistry and lust part and parcel to falling in love. Great sex scenes aren’t just about inserting tab A into slot B. Great sex scenes capture all the mystery and majesty of touching the person you will spend the rest of your life with. Done well, all the high emotion and relinquishing of self and terror and hope and stumbling and flying of falling in love can happen in a sex scene.
No pressure, right?
Because I value and respect sex scenes, I’ve worked hard to make them powerful, compelling, and emotionally resonating in my books. In my course How to Write Love Scenes That Matter, I teach others how to do so as well. If you don’t have time for a writing workshop, here are 5 tips to writing sex scenes that matter….
Make characters’ sexual selves as distinctive as the rest of them
You know your characters’ eye colors, jobs, thoughts about themselves, thoughts about their world, religion, favorite foods, etc. Their thoughts about sex, about themselves as sexual creatures, and how they approach the act is as distinctive as the rest of them. We do such a disservice to our characters and to our readers when we make every hero a growly alpha and every heroine an inexperienced virgin who effortlessly orgasms. Think through how their lives and upbringings inform their sexual selves, and how it repels and compliments the partner you’ve created for them.
In my debut book Lush Money, my billionaire businesswoman and the prince she tries to buy are powerful, epically attractive, sexually experienced, and overwhelmingly confident. When they first have sex, it’s like a clash of the titans, with both of them warring for the upper hand. However, they’re both good people with deep wounds who crave to be loved, and this vulnerability and tenderness toward each other comes into play in the bedroom way before they’re willing to let it show in real life.
What’s the conflict?
The goal, motivation and conflict of every chapter in your book should also be included in your sex scenes. Especially the conflict. What is the complication they’re trying to overcome in every sex scene and how does the sex raise the stakes when they’re out of bed?
In After Hours on Milagro Street, insta-lust and insta-bedding in this opposites-attract book lays the conflict for the first half of the book. The hero’s quick orgasm gives my heroine, who admires him even though she doesn’t want to, something to poke to keep him ten yards back. He’s helplessly attracted to the fierce bartender even though he doesn’t want to be. The sex is the conflict.
In Serving Sin, my CEO businesswoman desperately wants to be touched by the bodyguard prince, and the prince desperately wants to touch her, even though he doesn’t believe he is worthy. This conflict is addressed in the first scene of physical intimacy, when he kisses her exposed back to let her know how bad he wants her, but then begs her to leave so he won’t take it further.
The conflicts that make our books page-turners should also be included in our sex scenes.
Use The characters’ surroundings
If your sex scene starts becoming rote, if it feels too focused on body positions and movement, one easy way to solve this is to open up the characters’ and the readers’ senses to the surroundings. The soft linen sheets, the moonlight above the farm field, the sound of the ocean waves beyond their beach blanket, and the smell of cotton candy rising up to where they are on the ferris wheel are all details you can use to ground the physicality of the sex scene and make the scene unique to your book and characters. Even while they make love, they can interact with that world. The linen sheets can be too soft, too slick, so they go to the floor to get some traction. The moonlight can expose what they’re trying to keep secret. The sound of the ocean waves can make them happily start singing the Beach Boys while they’re doing it, and the smell of cotton candy can make him ravenous for the sugar fix of her.
In Hate Crush, my rock-star hero meets my princess winemaker in a giant wine vat that she’s cleaning. Soon, they’re having sex against the hard steel wall. Their kisses echo off the metal surfaces, her skimpy jeans short and half t-shirt she wears for cleaning are effortlessly pushed aside, the brush broom she was using to scrub clatters to the ground in their fervor, and later, when the necessary discomfort settles in, she realizes she has to re-sterilize the tank after what they’ve done and rejects his offer to help. The interior of the wine vat informed their sex scene.
Take chances with stereotypical gender roles
In writing alpha heroines, I guess I do this a lot in my writing, so perhaps this isn’t a tip that will work for everyone. However, staying away from the seemingly concrete gender roles so often assigned to cis heterosexual couples in romance beds is a way to make your sex scenes unique and distinctive. The man doesn’t have to be a growly dominant. The woman doesn’t have to be led.
In the initial sex scenes in Hate Crush and After Hours on Milagro Street, my heroes orgasm very fast, overwhelmed by their desire for the heroine. I loved showing their vulnerability this way, as well as showing their determination to please the heroine outside of intercourse.
The threat of a quick orgasm comes up again in Hate Crush, which is a second-chance romance, when they reunite years later. It is a way for me to underline how deeply my slutty rock star, who’s slept with A LOT of people, is affected by this one princess. In After Hours Milagro Street, when my hero tries to return the favor of the orgasm with his fingers, my bad-ass bartender heroine is like, “You know what, I got this,” and masturbates on top of him. It underlines how this is only a wham-bam-thank-you-sir for her, which she is allowed to enjoy. These scenes gain emotional resonance later in the book which she apologizes for making fun of him, tells him how much she enjoyed his passion for her, and he shows her that he has the powers to drive her crazy as well.
Playing with gender roles in bed is FUN!
Include the themes of your book in your sex scenes
I’m a pantser, not a planner, so the themes of my books don’t reveal themselves until I’ve finished writing the first draft. Still, the beliefs and issues my characters struggle with in the book so often reveal themselves in the sex scenes. If the characters are hard in the world, but wish to love and be loved, let the bedroom be the place where readers can see that transformation. If they feel misunderstood, let understanding grow in the love scenes. If they are self-punishing, let their partner show them how they are worthy.
In Full Moon Over Freedom, my alpha heroine has just divorced a narcissist, and returns to her hometown with her confidence pulled out from underneath her. There she runs into the childhood friend who became the young man who taught her about sex. What better way for her to get her confidence about her body and sexuality back than to have a summer romp with this bad-boy-turned-artist? Through the course of their sexual interactions, we see Gillian’s journey to regain her sexuality and how Nicky helps her re-claim her sense of self.
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Discover the secret to writing love scenes that will make your books unputdownable and keep your readers up all night! In her three-hour live online workshop, critically acclaimed romance author Angelina M. Lopez will teach you how to write love scenes that avoid the cringe and dramatically impact your plot and book. Learn in her one-day course how to create that same gut-swooping sensation for your readers that made you fall in love with the genre. Learn more