5 Tips for Writing Love Scenes That Matter

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“Lopez …makes a profound statement about being an American amid absolutely mind-blowing sex scenes. It’s her ability to balance these lascivious passages with pointed, meaningful storytelling that sets her work apart and makes her a writer worth returning to again and again.”--Maureen Lee Lenker, Entertainment Weekly

I like sex scenes. Before I began writing, sex scenes were my favorite part of the book. They were what I would read over and over again, as you can tell by the bends in my paperbacks. It’s easy to dismiss this as horny inclinations, but that would too easily dismiss the value and distinctiveness of the romance novel genre.

In mysteries, we love the unwinding of the whodunnit. In horror novels, we love the slow creep down the hall to the terrifying reveal. These books create a feeling that readers sign up for when they buy them.

A great romance novel captures the visceral sensation of falling in love. It is a sensation that has launched a thousand ships and sent people into murder and madness. It is not to be trivialized. Many authors, myself included, consider physical chemistry and lust part and parcel to falling in love. Great sex scenes aren’t just about inserting tab A into slot B. Great sex scenes capture all the mystery and majesty of touching the person you will spend the rest of your life with. Done well, all the high emotion and relinquishing of self and terror and hope and stumbling and flying of falling in love can happen in a sex scene.

No pressure, right?

Because I value and respect sex scenes, I’ve worked hard to make them powerful, compelling, and emotionally resonating in my books. In my course How to Write Love Scenes That Matter, I teach others how to do so as well. If you don’t have time for a writing workshop, here are 5 tips to writing sex scenes that matter….

Make characters’ sexual selves as distinctive as the rest of them

You know your characters’ eye colors, jobs, thoughts about themselves, thoughts about their world, religion, favorite foods, etc. Their thoughts about sex, about themselves as sexual creatures, and how they approach the act is as distinctive as the rest of them. We do such a disservice to our characters and to our readers when we make every hero a growly alpha and every heroine an inexperienced virgin who effortlessly orgasms. Think through how their lives and upbringings inform their sexual selves, and how it repels and compliments the partner you’ve created for them.

In my debut book Lush Money, my billionaire businesswoman and the prince she tries to buy are powerful, epically attractive, sexually experienced, and overwhelmingly confident. When they first have sex, it’s like a clash of the titans, with both of them warring for the upper hand. However, they’re both good people with deep wounds who crave to be loved, and this vulnerability and tenderness toward each other comes into play in the bedroom way before they’re willing to let it show in real life.

What’s the conflict? 

The goal, motivation and conflict of every chapter in your book should also be included in your sex scenes. Especially the conflict. What is the complication they’re trying to overcome in every sex scene and how does the sex raise the stakes when they’re out of bed?

In After Hours on Milagro Street, insta-lust and insta-bedding in this opposites-attract book lays the conflict for the first half of the book. The hero’s quick orgasm gives my heroine, who admires him even though she doesn’t want to, something to poke to keep him ten yards back. He’s helplessly attracted to the fierce bartender even though he doesn’t want to be. The sex is the conflict.

In Serving Sin, my CEO businesswoman desperately wants to be touched by the bodyguard prince, and the prince desperately wants to touch her, even though he doesn’t believe he is worthy. This conflict is addressed in the first scene of physical intimacy, when he kisses her exposed back to let her know how bad he wants her, but then begs her to leave so he won’t take it further.

The conflicts that make our books page-turners should also be included in our sex scenes.

Use The characters’ surroundings

If your sex scene starts becoming rote, if it feels too focused on body positions and movement, one easy way to solve this is to open up the characters’ and the readers’ senses to the surroundings. The soft linen sheets, the moonlight above the farm field, the sound of the ocean waves beyond their beach blanket, and the smell of cotton candy rising up to where they are on the ferris wheel are all details you can use to ground the physicality of the sex scene and make the scene unique to your book and characters. Even while they make love, they can interact with that world. The linen sheets can be too soft, too slick, so they go to the floor to get some traction. The moonlight can expose what they’re trying to keep secret. The sound of the ocean waves can make them happily start singing the Beach Boys while they’re doing it, and the smell of cotton candy can make him ravenous for the sugar fix of her.

In Hate Crush, my rock-star hero meets my princess winemaker in a giant wine vat that she’s cleaning. Soon, they’re having sex against the hard steel wall. Their kisses echo off the metal surfaces, her skimpy jeans short and half t-shirt she wears for cleaning are effortlessly pushed aside, the brush broom she was using to scrub clatters to the ground in their fervor, and later, when the necessary discomfort settles in, she realizes she has to re-sterilize the tank after what they’ve done and rejects his offer to help. The interior of the wine vat informed their sex scene.

Take chances with stereotypical gender roles

In writing alpha heroines, I guess I do this a lot in my writing, so perhaps this isn’t a tip that will work for everyone. However, staying away from the seemingly concrete gender roles so often assigned to cis heterosexual couples in romance beds is a way to make your sex scenes unique and distinctive. The man doesn’t have to be a growly dominant. The woman doesn’t have to be led.

In the initial sex scenes in Hate Crush and After Hours on Milagro Street, my heroes orgasm very fast, overwhelmed by their desire for the heroine. I loved showing their vulnerability this way, as well as showing their determination to please the heroine outside of intercourse.

The threat of a quick orgasm comes up again in Hate Crush, which is a second-chance romance, when they reunite years later. It is a way for me to underline how deeply my slutty rock star, who’s slept with A LOT of people, is affected by this one princess. In After Hours Milagro Street, when my hero tries to return the favor of the orgasm with his fingers, my bad-ass bartender heroine is like, “You know what, I got this,” and masturbates on top of him. It underlines how this is only a wham-bam-thank-you-sir for her, which she is allowed to enjoy. These scenes gain emotional resonance later in the book which she apologizes for making fun of him, tells him how much she enjoyed his passion for her, and he shows her that he has the powers to drive her crazy as well.

Playing with gender roles in bed is FUN!

Include the themes of your book in your sex scenes

I’m a pantser, not a planner, so the themes of my books don’t reveal themselves until I’ve finished writing the first draft. Still, the beliefs and issues my characters struggle with in the book so often reveal themselves in the sex scenes. If the characters are hard in the world, but wish to love and be loved, let the bedroom be the place where readers can see that transformation. If they feel misunderstood, let understanding grow in the love scenes. If they are self-punishing, let their partner show them how they are worthy.

In Full Moon Over Freedom, my alpha heroine has just divorced a narcissist, and returns to her hometown with her confidence pulled out from underneath her. There she runs into the childhood friend who became the young man who taught her about sex. What better way for her to get her confidence about her body and sexuality back than to have a summer romp with this bad-boy-turned-artist? Through the course of their sexual interactions, we see Gillian’s journey to regain her sexuality and how Nicky helps her re-claim her sense of self.

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sign up now for my live, online course, How to Write Love Scenes That Matter

Would you be interested in taking a sex scene writing course from me?

(Update: Signup for my writing workshop How to Write Love Scenes That Matter is now open to newsletter subscribers. It will open up to non-subscribers on May 28.)

I’ve been slowly putting together a workshop titled:

How to write sex scenes readers (and your book) can’t live without

Readers have always seemed to find my love scenes effective (heh), and in this era of censorship and purity culture, it feels like an act of resistance to teach people how to write pulse-pounding sex scenes that are as important to the plot as the climax (heh!).

I’m sorry. I’m 12.

If you’d be interested in taking such a course from me, you can signup here to be notified when the class is available.

What's coming in 2025

My new logo

Welp. It’s 2025.

I’ve been absent on social media since the election. I’m finding it impossible to write stories about strong women and worthy men when the majority of white men voted to oppress and white women and Latino men voted for their oppressors. 

It’s hard to believe in HEA’s right now. 

So what’s next? I’m still writing. I’m working on book about a Chicana teen in the late 90s seeking vengeance. Working on this book has been intensely fulfilling during these dark days. Obviously, this is a new direction for me, but one that I hope will provide the notice and income that romance publishing didn’t provide. 

In 2023, I fired my agent and walked away from a really lousy contract. I hope the third book in the Milagro Street series sees the light of day one day. But I couldn’t keep working as hard as I was with so little support, recognition, or effort to sell my work from my publisher and agent. I was also demoralized by romance readers’ continued resistance to reading stories by authors of color. 

I hold deep gratitude to everyone who loved my books, shared them, and reviewed them. Without you, the last five years would’ve felt like a failure.

I don’t know when romance and I will see eye to eye again. Anything can happen and I’m holding space for anything to happen while updating those of you loyal enough to subscribe to my blog or check out my website. I hope some of you will come with me as my writing career expands to encompass other genres. 

In the meantime, I still have books you can buy. I still have events happening. As you can see below, I still have many ideas percolating. For the romance writers out there, aspiring or otherwise, I’d love to get your thoughts, if you’d participate in a short survey. I’m doing what I can to fill the uncertain future with new opportunities. 

 As always, thank you for your support,

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Would you be interested in taking a sex scene writing course from me?

I’ve been slowly putting together a workshop titled:

How to write sex scenes readers (and your book) can’t live without

Readers have always seemed to find my love scenes effective (heh), and in this era of censorship and purity culture, it feels like an act of resistance to teach people how to write pulse-pounding sex scenes that are as important to the plot as the climax (heh!). 

I’m sorry. I’m 12. 

If you’d be interested in taking such a course from me, please fill out the short survey in the link below…

5 Simple Writing Resolutions for 2023

(Author’s note: Below is an excerpt of the blog I provided to my $5/month Patreon subscribers. Each month, I provide a column or video on writing and a steamy short story to those who subscribe at the five-dollar level. Those who subscribe at the $3/month level get access to a new steamy short story every month, as well as all the stories I’ve provided in previous months.)

Turning over a new leaf for me has rarely happened on January 1.

My birthday coincides with the beginning of the school year, so for the first couple of decades of my life, the “new me” happened in September. Then, as a published author, the start of the 100,000-word odyssey of a new book was when I literally and figuratively began with a clean page.

This year, it just so happens that the beginning of the new year is paired with the beginning of a new book, the third book in the Milagro Street series. Since this is my sixth published book, I would love to tell you that I’ve perfected my system for book creation. I haven’t. You, dear hyperromantic author, can take both comfort and horror from that. Comfort because I’ve come to understand that my process is constantly changing and there is no one “right” way. Horror because the shifting sands beneath my feet – and yours -- may end up feeling like they’re always shifting.

That’s okay. We’ll breathe through it.

For 2023, I’m making five simple writing resolutions that might also help you daily get the words on the page.

#1 -  I resolve to tell the truth

I’m stealing this one from the amazing Grant Faulkner, the head of the organization that runs NaNoWriMo and an astonishing writer in his own right. In his January 1 newsletter on Substack, he talks about how much bravery it takes to write your “truth.” He quotes Anne Lamont: “Good writing is about telling the truth. We are a species that wants and needs to know who we are.”

My “truth” is that I believe women are fiercely powerful. Because we live in a society where women’s power has been historically undermined, I want to write heroines who are fierce the instant they show up on the page. I want to write women who make mistakes. I want to show women making their heroine’s journey to a place of integrity, peace, and joy. But many modern-day romance readers don’t want to see that journey – they want a woman to show up on the page in a way that they’re used, a way that makes them comfortable in its familiarity. They want to “like” her from go, without analyzing the unintentional bias they’ve absorbed to prevent them from liking her. But fierce female heroines are my truth, and I will continue to write them, even if that means taking some knocks from readers and reviewers.

What is your truth? What is the perhaps uncomfortable thing you want to say about women, men, people, relationships, loves, life, the world? I encourage you to say it. Your truth is unique, made of every day you’ve lived and every thought you’ve had, and will help lift your authorial voice above the din.

#2 - I resolve to reserve my most creative time for writing

I’ve talked about this one before. I will talk about it again. Mostly because, while it is the easiest and best tool for me to get to the end of a 100,000-word book, I still can ignore this tenet: I will guard my most creative time and do nothing but write during it.

My most creative time is from the instant I wake up until about 1 p.m. If I sit down to write as soon as I’ve exercised and washed my face, then the words are relatively easy to find, the big ideas of a book come to me, dialogue flows, and the puzzle pieces of a book fit together. At about 1 p.m., those connections start becoming fuzzy. My brain just doesn’t work as well. I can get a second writing wind at about 4 p.m., but at that point, afternoon meetings and family life begin to intrude.

For years now, I’ve known that morning writing works best for me, and yet I’m still so often tempted to work on social media in the morning. To schedule meetings during that time. To write a little article for Patreon. Even with proven success, I still screw with this.

Discover your most creative writing time – it could be first thing in the morning or in the middle of the night – and as often as you can, keep this time sacrosanct for your writing. Getting successful words on the page will plant the seeds for more successful words on the page.

To keep reading and discover my other three resolutions to help you get words on the page, subscribe to my Patreon at the hyperromantic Author level.

6 tips for writing your first draft

There is nothing more daunting than a blank page.

Although the book I’ve just turned in to my editor — Full Moon Over Freedom, Book 2 in the Milagro Street series — is the fifth book I’ve written for publication, the blank page I’m staring at as I begin to cogitate Book 3 is no less daunting.

Maybe, on November 1, you’ll also be staring at a blank page as you embark on NaNoWriMo? For the uninitiated, National Novel Writing Month is when writers strive to write 50,000 words in November. It’s an ode to the fast draft. I was honored to be invited this summer to be a counselor at Camp NaNoWriMo, which is a calmer effort in April and July to meet a word-count goal that you set.

Here are six tips that I provided my campers about writing that intimidating first draft.

Keep your most creative time sacrosanct for writing

When do your words flow best? First thing in the morning, middle of the night, after a nap? Discover your most creatively productive time then — as much as real life allows — protect that time for your writing. Lock your office door, disconnect your computer from the internet, and ignore your emails. The success you gain from writing during your most productive time will help you maintain momentum. This was an “of course, duh” piece of writing advice I got from the phenomenal writing coach, Dan Blank.

Say “yes, and…” not “no” while writing your first draft

You have plenty of time to edit, revise, and align something for the market. You first draft is your opportunity to let your voice and creativity flourish. Say “yes, and…” to your wild ideas and bonkers inclinations. Follow where they lead; don’t shut them down. The uniqueness of your voice is what will lead to your publishing success, and you unlock that voice by letting it sing.

Write your first draft like a horse wearing blinders

Whether you plot or write by the seat of your pants, write your first draft looking forward not back. Gnarly things happen to a writer — like never finishing a book — when they’re constantly trying to tinker. Trust that will get to know your characters, theme, and plot by writing it, and that you can sharpen and alter in the subsequent drafts. Embrace the fact that your first draft will be meandering, but you will learn so much by taking the journey.

Stuck? Step away from your computer

Taking a walk is writing. Heading down to the coffee pot is writing. Showering is writing. Emptying the dishwasher is writing. Your brain will continue to work on your story even when you’re not at the keyboard. So if you’ve been working on the same sentence and it’s not going anywhere, step away for five-ten-fifteen minutes (set a timer so the break doesn’t become the end of your writing time), let your brain relax, then go back to the writing. You’ll be surprised how quickly you’ll solve what was ailing you.

Trust your process

I just finished my fifth book for publication and I still had to tell myself this. I know what works for me — a couple of weeks research before I start, a bare outline, pantsing a book, knowing the book will strengthen in tone, theme, and character development in revisions. But I still have moments when I’m certain my career is over. Figure out the writing process that works for you, don’t worry about what others tell you is the “right” way to do it, and trust that your process will deliver you a book that you’re in love with.

Lean into your word-count goals and deadlines

What’s nice about NaNoWriMo and Camp NaNoWriMo is that they are goal-oriented months that end. So for those month — November, April, or July — let your goal dictate how you spend your free time. Let it be the excuse you use for your RSVPs. Let it be a word count you put in your daily calendar. Instead of being the inspiration killers so many people think they are, goals and deadlines can actually be helpful guardrails that aim you where you want to go. In his book, Pep Talks for Writers, Grant Faulkner calls them “the most important concepts in living the artistic life.”

Limit your time on social media.

As a professional author, I have found nothing more motivation-stealing than social media. If you are a developing writer, I urge you to limit the amount of time you spend in the social media book world. Like literally, set a 15-minute timer. Find out what’s happening in your genre and market, then get out. Listen to your gut about what you’re going to believe in terms of advice and trends. And don’t let it sap your writing joy.

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Want to get a sneak peek at
Full Moon Over Freedom?

*Cover placeholder. Cover reveal coming soon!

When the newly divorced Juliana “Gillian” Armstead-Bancroft has to return to her small Kansas hometown for the summer, she runs into the childhood friend and bad boy she hoped to never see again. Discover what happens when the once-perfect East Coast wife and mom gets her groove back with the small-town-boy-turned-artist who taught her how!

Get a taste of Full Moon Over Freedom, follow-up to the critically acclaimed After Hours on Milagro Street, in the September newsletter. Sign up now!

How to avoid the sophomore slump

Ah, the journey of the sophomore book. The road to that second-book-for-publication can vary widely. Maybe the first book published was your first book written. Or maybe it’s the 100th. Perhaps you published traditionally. Or published indie. But in the trenches of the sophomore book, many things are similar for writers. And yet we think we’re the only ones who’ve battled there.

“As authors enter into deadline pressure, the most common struggle is learning how to juggle everything else,” said editor extraordinaire Angela James. “The second is learning how to just deal with the deadline pressure and realizing that you’re not writing just for ‘fun’ any more, but writing under an obligation to someone else. That can sometimes paralyze authors!”

And I can tell you from personal experience, that paralysis is not fun!

My latest released book, Hate Crush, was my sophomore effort. The curse and blessing of the first book, Lush Money, was that when I delivered it, my editor complimented it for its clean copy and said it needed few edits.

The perfectionist, Virgo, ex-journalist in me preened. There is NOTHING I like better than giving clean copy. So I thought I could write Hate Crush just like I wrote Lush Money: pantsing it, amping up the bonkers, and writing with the same bravery and exhilaration that I wrote when I didn't have a contract or a deadline.

Yeah… No.

During the months of writing, the words HOT MESS began to scroll across my brain like a Times Square ticker. I tried to rein the book in. I suggested to my agent and editor that I felt the book was “experimental” and “taking a new direction.” They were gently and kindly silent. They both knew that this is just what happened with sophomore books.

Ask multi-published romantic suspense author Adriana Anders: “I wrote Book Two before Book One was published, so I actually felt pretty good about it, overall... until Book One came out. My first release had some good responses from the trade mags, which was great. It also made me miserable, convinced that I was a one-hit wonder. Writing after that first release was very, very difficult.”

When my editor got back to me with revision notes for Hate Crush, she never said the words, “Hot mess.” But what she did say was, “Fix it. I believe in you.”

For thirty days leading up to Christmas of 2019, I re-wrote Hate Crush with 50,000 new words. I dropped plot lines and characters. I made my protagonists softer. I clarified my villains.

I saved the damn book. I hoped.

And although the first review for the book was a scathing 1-star that the reviewer made sure to post EVERYWHERE, the other reviews let me know that my career wasn’t over: Readers said they might love Hate Crush even more than Lush Money. Author friends said it didn’t read like a sophomore effort. And then came these reviews from Booklist, Entertainment Weekly, and NPR.

I’d done it. I’d pulled that book back from the brink.

My hope is that these encouraging how-tos from me and other romance folks help you avoid the sophomore slump before a 30-day re-write and help you embrace the fact that, if you’re having a tough time, it’s part of the process and you’re not alone.

1. Take your time (and try to make the time)

“One of the things I used to counsel authors on when we were doing their first contract was to think about how they were setting new manuscript delivery dates,” Angela James said. “Most new authors don’t have any experience with what it’s like to write a book while also editing, marketing, promoting, reviewing cover copy, chiming in on cover art and doing everything else that comes along with publishing the first book. So I would always tell authors to take a step back before they confirmed manuscript delivery dates and to think about how much extra time they’ll need to write a new book, now that they’ll have the distractions of everything else publishing added in while writing.”

Many romance authors wish they could deliver books like a Pez dispenser. But we need time to write books that readers will fall in love with and that will help build our brand. So try to be realistic about the amount of time you’ll need to write the sophomore book so that it’s a reflection of the quality that readers fell in love with in your first book.

One way to manage your time wisely: Time blocking. Block out the time each day you will devote to your book, and deny the distractions (social media, the news, the dog) that will corrupt that time. Just devoting one hour is still one hour closer to being done!

2. Allow your process to change

I entirely pantsed my first book, Lush Money, and figured I would write Hate Crush the exact same way. But as I tried to stick to the freedom and exhilaration of pantsing, I knew I was getting lost in the weeds. Hate Crush was a different kind of book, a second-chance romance with a bit of a whodunit element, and it needed a plan.

Unfortunately for my editor, I didn’t figure that out until after I’d gotten the book back from revisions. When I broke down the plot threads, streamlined and clarified them, the book was so much stronger. I wished I’d embraced the fact that my process could change earlier in the writing. But as internationally bestselling historical romance author Diana Cosby said, “Ignore your doubts and keep writing, get the story out. You can edit later.”

Thank God for the opportunity to edit!

“You can’t get to a place of confidence by thinking about it or planning it. You gain the most confidence by doing it. Action helps stop fear and doubt.”

— Editor Angela James

3. Believe in yourself

Imposter syndrome and the fear that we’re a one-hit wonder plagues many writers. That fear intensifies as more people – readers, agents, editors, book bloggers – look over our shoulders.

“You have to do a series of ignoring them for a time and purging negativity. Take what they say, use if it you agree but let go of the rest,” said best-selling romantic suspense author Tracee Lydia Garner. “We allow things into our psyche like residue and think about them at length. Residue is something that is often stubborn and needs scrubbing. Folks, impressions, thoughts, really do take up too much residence and yet we let them drive the moving truck to our brain… We don't often take the time to evict, we just let folks hang out eating our popcorn, wine and cheese.”

When I got my revisions back from my editor and knew I had to re-invent that book in 30 days, the one thing I wouldn’t allow myself to do was cry. If I started, I was afraid I wouldn’t stop. What I did was tell myself over and over again: You’re a professional. You can do this.

You’re a professional. You can do this.

Whether the first book you published was the first one you’d ever written or whether you had eight books (cough, cough) under your bed, you did something the majority of people don’t: You finished a book. You figured out plot, characters, love scenes, a dramatic high, the black moment low, and the HEA. You sat your ass in the chair and did the hard work.

I promise, you can do it again.

4. Rely on your resources

When a book starts going off the rails, the last thing you want to do is show it to other people. But those other people – beta readers, your agent, and most importantly, your editor – are exactly who you need to lean on for help.

Award-winning romance author Alexis Daria said: “I wish I’d asked for more support from my editor when I was stuck or didn’t know something.”

My editor told me repeatedly that sophomore books were tough, and although I was too much of a chicken to show her the tough stuff, knowing that I wasn’t the first author in her talented cadre that experienced difficulty was helpful.

I did show the book to beta readers. Romance author Cate Tayler and romance lover and life coach Wendy Reed were instrumental in helping me figure out what wasn’t working. When working with beta readers, be very clear about what you want their insight on. I asked specific questions about areas that I felt were weak, and they gave focused answers. If you’re already feeling shaky about a book, getting advice you don’t need can push you further from clarity.

5. Know you’re not alone

“I think many authors hit a moment when they start to believe they only had one story in them, that they can’t possibly write a second book, and that the second book is going to be awful when they do finish it,” said Angela James. “That’s just not true, it’s just a function of nerves, imposter syndrome, putting too much weight on reviews, comparing yourself to your fellow authors, and basically forgetting to focus on all the great things about you-as-a-writer instead of focusing on fears, expectations and doubts.”

I’ve always felt like a distinctive person, a unique individual. I’m sure you do, too. But I’ve been ASTONISHED during this journey how often my writer insecurities are echoed by other authors. Multi-published authors. New York Times bestselling authors. BIG authors. I was once at an event when Eloisa James talked about feeling imposter syndrome.

So this feeling that your first book was a fluke – it’s not just you. It’s part of the process. But how do you get past it?

“Keep writing. Keep writing. Keep writing,” said Angela James. “You can’t get to a place of confidence by thinking about it or planning it. You gain the most confidence by doing it. Action helps stop fear and doubt. And even when the fear and doubt are still there, if you keep writing, at least you’re moving forward and not staying stuck!”

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How Publishing to Wattpad Helped Me Fall Back in Love with Writing

In 2011, I stopped writing fiction. I'd researched, outlined, and plotted my way into hating my writing process. My thin skin and the rejection letters didn't help, either.

But in 2014, I discovered Wattpad. Described by some as the YouTube for ebooks, Wattpad is an app that allows writers to share their work and readers to read, follow, and comment. It encourages serialized posting of chapters, and many writers write from their phones. For me, a writer who'd spent three months researching and outlining her last attempted book and then couldn't get through the first chapter, this felt like freedom.

Four years later and with a finished book under my belt, I can honestly say that Wattpad gave me back my love of writing.

How? Wattpad allowed me to:

Break stultifying writing habits

In the first fevered days of trying out the Wattpad app, I wrote the following in my bio:

"I've always been my worst critic, and my fiction writing became paralyzed by my editing. Discovering Wattpad was a godsend because I just write and publish; beyond checking for typos and spelling errors, I work really hard to not let my judgey self get in the way of my Muse."

For years, I bound myself in chain after chain of writing "how-tos." Wattpad, with its phone-to-app publishing, its generous fans, and its encouragement to publish chapter-by-chapter rather than in whole book form, supported experimentation. Throw it at the wall and see what stuck. Don't like it? Erase it.

I felt like I could breathe again. More importantly, I felt like I could write again.

Connect with readers

The hardest part about putting a book under my bed that had been rejected by traditional publishing was the realization that my characters were never going to live and breathe in the minds of readers. I felt like I'd let my characters down. I felt like I'd killed them.

Wattpad connected my characters to readers, and the readers gave my characters life.

I was strategic about finding fans. I made my first book, Desperately Seeking, fanfiction by turning my hero into Oliver Queen from the hit TV show Arrow. It wasn't a hardship handing over my story idea -- what if a young widow placed a personal ad for "occasional companionship" -- to the gorgeous Stephen Amell.

And it allowed me to tag the story and access fans who otherwise might have overlooked me. Desperately Seeking now has 169,000 reads and I'm connected to 900 fans, a number which makes my little brain shiver.

The whole point, as I previously mentioned, was to HAVE PEOPLE READ MY WRITING.

Read fans' reactions

Not only can people read my book, that can comment on it, line by line. They can comment on their thoughts of the chapter. They can add it to reading lists with heartwarming titles like, "Could Read It Over and Over Again."

Reading people's immediate visceral responses is awesome and terrifying. I am blessed that my interactions have been 100 percent positive. I realize that not everyone is and will be this lucky. As an experienced social media manager, I am quick and ready with the delete, mute, and block buttons.

But I have been blessed, and it's amazing to see what resonates with people, what make them cry or yearn, what scenes fall flat, and what surprises you about what surprises them. People tell you when they've learned something about themselves through your book, and that immediacy is something that other reading platforms can't (yet) mimic.

Vet ideas

The book I’m posting on Wattpad, The Billionaire's Prince, (author’s note: this was an early draft of Lush Money, now available from Carina Press) began with the idea: "What if the billionaire CEO was a woman?" I thought it up while I was visiting my parents in California, laptop free, and was so intrigued by the concept that I posted a cover and a blurb to Wattpad -- from my phone -- with no sense yet of what would exist beyond the cover.

"Three days a month. That's all the billionaire wants from him. Or rather, three nights. Three nights a month for a year, and at the end, she will divorce him with a settlement large enough to save the small European principality that means everything to him. All the wealthy CEO wants? Three long, hot nights a month in her bed. And his heir."

All those details -- three nights a month, the settlement, the European principality -- I literally thought up in the five minutes it took me to write the blurb. I tacked on "and his heir" as an after thought.

The concept received so many votes and comments right off the bat that I knew it was an idea that had promise. Wattpad, with its 65 million monthly visitors who spend 15 BILLION minutes per month reading, is a wonderful place to try out a title, a chapter, an idea, and see if it has legs.

Find a writing community

The fears I had of showing my work to a critique group, a writing friend, or a judging panel were quickly overcome by the "show it to the world" nature of the Internet. I originally wrote under a pseudonym, but don't anymore. Wattpad forced me to be brave and get over my stage fright.

And in revealing myself, I've found a community of supportive, kickass writers who cheerlead me through chapters, create fanart for me, advocate for me to their readers, and invite me to new opportunities.

Wattpad superstar Fallon DeMornay has mentioned me multiple times in interviews as one of her favorite writers on Wattpad, an honor that knocks me out every time it happens. I will re-pay her one day by showering her in diamonds, cocktails, and attractive men who know how to salsa.

In 2015, I was invited to take part in a Wattpad Valentine's Day anthology by USA Today bestselling author Michelle Jo Quinn. It forced me to write the first short story I'd written in years, and The Phone Call became one of my favorite babies.

Keep ass in chair

My bio mentioned that I've always been my worst critic and that critic can lead me to take loooooooooong breaks, breaks when working for clients or planning family events or cleaning the fridge can all seem more appealing and compelling than finishing my book.

But Wattpad readers have this pesky habit of letting you know when they love you and your work. "Update please," "Update soon," "Update now please soon," are all comments that make Wattpad authors climb the wall. Now, instead of just a dusty keyboard, I have actual human beings telling me that I'm being a slacker and I need to get back to work.

There is NOTHING more motivating to keep my butt in the chair and my hands typing away than the pressure of readers excited and anxious for my words. It's awful. It's terrific. It's awfully terrific, and I'm so grateful that Wattpad has given me the opportunity to connect with readers who give a crap about my writing.

What I Learned In The 7 Years Between Completing Novels

Update, January 2020: I wrote this soon after I completed The Billionaire’s Prince, Now Titled Lush MOney and Available now. What an incredible journey it’s been!

In 2011, I finished a book. I sweated over it, I celebrated it, I won a contest with it, and then, when I received, like, eight rejections for it (I'm not kidding), I threw it under the proverbial bed and declared that I was done with fiction writing.

Perhaps I wasn't quite as dramatic as all that, but it still wasn't pretty.

Now, seven years later, after starting a successful freelance business that forced me to write quickly and daily, after discovering the joys of writing serially to enthusiastic fans on Wattpad, and after completing a 50,000-word fanfic and a short story that I'm incredibly proud of, I've completed another book.

On Dec. 18, 2017, I gave myself the Christmas present of completing The Billionaire's Prince (now titled Lush Money), a story about a sexy female billionaire who strikes a bargain with a prince. In return for three nights a month in his bed, she will give him enough money to save his kingdom. All she wants is three nights a month in his bed for a year. And his heir.

I know. Juicy.

Everything has changed about the world of romance fiction since 2011. Fortunately, everything about how I write has changed, too.

I'm a "yes-er" instead of a "no-er."

I remember sitting at the back of the room at a Washington Romance Writers' retreat, arms crossed, as Angela James of Carina Press, Harlequin's digital-first imprint, told us about the future of online books. This would have been...2009? My girlfriend and I declared that we would NEVER limit our beautiful books to the digital world.

Yep, I said that.

My tiny little mind has grown beyond those early limitations and now I'm excited about what technology has offered us storytellers. The scrolling panels of online comics, the serial pacing of reader/writer platforms like Wattpad and Radish, and the "let's throw it at the wall and see what sticks" mode of modern-day storytelling have taught me the freedom unleashed by technology. Our ability to tell a story in a way that best meets the needs of that story is only limited by our imagination. And our stubbornly crossed arms.

I've turned down my perfectionist knob.

I became a docent at the Hillwood Museum in Washington, D.C., this year, and during my training, our brilliant instructors shared with us the concept of "good but growing." Professional athletes at the top of their field don't rest on their laurels, they explained. Instead, they continue to work and train.

I found this concept revolutionary.

Instead of trying to become the "perfect" author, I should look at myself as "good but growing." I will always be learning. I will always be training and changing.  And instead of assessing the work through the lens of "perfect," I should think of its "keeps and changes." What should be kept? What should be changed? This assessment takes away (somewhat) the sting of objective criticism.

More importantly, this whole concept of "good but growing" keeps me from trying to reach the imprisoning retirement home of "perfection" and instead allows me to stay out on the open road.

I stayed true to my own voice and path.

My mom likes to talk about the freedoms that come with age, and while I roll my eyes when she talks this way (because I'm a daughter and she's the mom), I also have to agree with her.

Yes, mom.

Because Lush Money was written using myself as true north. It was written saying things I wanted to say about strong women and supportive men and love and sex and family and self-image. I plan to take this compass into the submission process and, hopefully, the publishing process. I'm old enough now to understand that a dream achieved without listening to the directives of your heart is no dream at all.

I've transformed into a pantser.

Seven years ago, I would have sworn to you that I can't write a book without knowing exactly where it was going.

And then, I tried to write three books with elaborate outlines and notecards and emotional arcs and mountains of research. I hated them. I spent three months doing prep work for the last book I attempted, even taking an intensive course about establishing story theme. I literally could not get through the first chapter.

I began the popular fanfiction piece I wrote on Wattpad with nothing but a threat I offer my husband when he doesn't take good physical care of himself: "If you die young, I'm going to take your life insurance money and buy a gigolo." I began writing Lush Money with one single solitary concept: What if the billionaire was a woman? I was as surprised by the twists and turns in that story as the readers. I knew my hero had a sister five seconds before she burst into the room. The photographer who caught my couple de flagrante surprised me as much as he did the couple.

I'm sure my writing method will twist and turn over time as much as my stories. That's because I'm good. But growing.

I'm in love.

I can build kingdoms. I can create corporations and birth beautiful villages in the Spanish mountains and swirl together the most delectable glass of red wine you've ever tasted.

I can make you sweat and break your heart. Don't worry, I'm usually crying right there with you.

And then I take a break for lunch.

"If you don't create, you hurt yourself," says Grant Faulkner in his book, Pep Talks for Writers. "Making art tells you who you are. Making art in turn makes you."

I make myself everyday when I sit down to write. When the words feel stifled, I make myself into someone grouchy and mean, wondering why everything pokes and fits too small until I remember, "Oh yeah, I had a shitty writing day."

But when the words flow, I make myself into something glorious. I find all kinds of joy in this life, but there is nothing that makes me feel more powerful, more capable, more worthy of my place here on this planet than a good day of writing my romance novel.

I've found love. I won't give it up again.