Resolving to Find the Fun in 2016

Me in 2014.

2015 kind of sucked for me.

I dealt with painful "getting old" back and leg issues, my son was immersed in junior/senior year stress (and we all went along for that ride), and my Dad died. There were many blessings, too: a trip to Vegas, a great writing conference, new clients (yay!), and the continued health and contentment of most of my family.

But in 2016, I want to focus on being happy again. I believe happiness takes a certain level of mindfulness, and I want to be mindful of discovering joy, rather than passively suffering through the misery. At my age, I know joy doesn't consist of just vacations and mani/pedis. True joy is found in your day-to-day, in taking care of your family, partnership, health, work, friends and home.

So, to succeed in this year's theme -- "Find the Fun" -- these are the New Year's resolutions I've made to be responsible for my happiness and to kick the blahs out the door. I only succeed when I'm held accountable, which is why I'm posting them here. I'll blog again in February about how I'm doing.

Family resolution

I resolve to create more moments when we can be together as a family. 

It's amazing, when your children are teenagers, how easy it is to live with people that you never connect with. We're home together a lot, but the boys are working as hard as I am on "the future," and when we're not working, we're relaxing on devices -- I'm as bad as they are. I'm trying to keep this resolution simple, i.e.. accomplishable: I'm resolving to eat more meals at the table and to plan one event a month that gets us out of the house together. I've already got this month's event on the calendar: We're going to the Harper Macaw chocolate factory tour in northeast D.C. Could there be a better lure? And yes, there will be a blog.

Marriage resolution

I resolve to find one new adult event to explore every month with my husband.

My man's a blast, he's pretty much up for anything with only mild convincing, and we have a lot of fun together. But with the stress of last year, we went out less and less, and when we did go out, it was generally to the same place. We both enjoy life with a few surprises, so in 2016, I'm committed to finding the Kennedy Center performances, bourbon tastings and hiking trails that will offer them.

Health resolution

I resolve to feel better.

Resolutions about weight and health are rife with controversy, and I thought long and hard about how to phrase this one. But the thing is, I don't feel good at the weight I am. I think it's hard on my frame. The end of last year was a "eat-and-drink-my-pain" fiesta and in the four days that I've been eating better, exercising every day, drinking more water and cutting back on alcohol, I already feel better. The proof is in the pudding, even when I can't have any.

Work resolution

I resolve to post to social media every day, skill build two hours a week, blog every week, and make a certain amount every month.

As a busy social media manager who helps my solopreneur and small business clients learn, plan and post their social media, I forget to do my own learning and planning and posting. The prime directive I give to all my clients is to take control of their marketing and messaging. And yet, I can let my messaging passively dribble out, too. However, with a child soon in college and a directive about how much I have to make in 2016 from my financial planner, my business and income is something I can no longer be passive about. Need help with your social media resolutions? That's what I'm here for.

Friends resolution

I resolve to entertain more and be more entertaining.

Oh, my lovely friends. Does it feel like your digits are gathering dust on my phone? Friends and their information, advice, laughter and love inject a huge dose of fun into my life, and I will use the excuse, "I'm sooooo busy," no longer. I've already got a couple of gatherings at our house planned -- look for your invite -- but I'm also going to remind myself that seeing my friends does not have to be a production. Over coffee, with a glass of wine, or during a joint trip to Target is a great time to enjoy my friends.

Home resolution 

I resolve to do what our financial planner says.

While being in our 40s doesn't make my husband and I feel any closer to adulthood, we are trying to behave like adults. We finally met with a financial planner at the end of last year, and she has given us our marching orders. It's calming to know we're driving down the road of our financial future with our eyes wide open, rather than squinted shut while hoping everything is going to be okay. It's also nice to know someone is there to help us handle the dips, rises and inevitable potholes. 

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What are your resolutions for 2016? Do you have any suggestions to help me with mine? Please comment below. I need all the help I can get.

And please check in again in February to see how I'm doing. 

Real Women Box at Title Boxing Club

I joined the Title Boxing Club in late August to work off the summer cocktails; I’m so sick of the gym and I wanted to work my body in way that felt useful and functional.

But news of NFL players using their warrior strength to abuse the women and children around them has made me think about women feeling vulnerable and defenseless. Has made me think about how much stronger my thighs and upper body and core have gotten in the three weeks I’ve been going to the boxing gym. Has made me think that if, god forbid, I’m in a position where I have to defend myself, I might now have a better idea of what I’m doing.

Don’t get me wrong. I don’t think it’s a woman’s responsibility to prevent herself from being hit. It’s a man’s responsibility to not hit. But the jab, cross, hook, uppercuts that I’ve been giving the 100-pound bag at the Title Boxing Club might give me an advantage I hadn't had against an attacker I hope I'll never have to face.

Heidi Dallman, trainer at the Title Boxing Club in Falls Church, said that while the club isn’t inherently teaching self defense, the moves learned can give someone the confidence they need to discourage a would-be attacker. “You have muscle memory, and that memory might hold someone off.”

The newly opened Title Boxing Club in Falls Church is not what you imagine when you think of a “boxing gym.” It’s clean and gleaming and light-filled, without the gross 40-year-old couch and the guys yelling, “Adrian,” that Heidi remembers from her first boxing gym. The trainers are friendly and encouraging, pushing you to give a little bit more with enthusiasm and without the drill sargeant. The membership is a cross-section of fit Millenials, suburban moms and dads, and teens and tweens coming in with their parents. And while the hour-long boxing and kickboxing classes are intense, a person of average fitness ability (me!) can complete them and feel like a badass when she’s done.

“Ninety-eight percent of the people who join have no aspiration to get into the boxing ring,” Heidi said. What they want are those incredible boxer bodies, so Title Boxing Club emulates boxing workouts in order to give members those. “There are so many cardio kickboxing classes out there, but you have to be hitting that 100-pound bag to really see changes.”

Smashing elbow into bag = awesome bruise

A typical boxing or kickboxing class is broken up into three parts: a 15-minute warm up session that involves lots of high-energy cardio; a 30-minute session of working the bag, broken up into intervals with quick 30-second breaks; and 15-minutes of core work and cool down. Heidi recommends that people attend classes at least three times a week in order to see results.

She tells the story of a young woman who saw results in less time: The woman had recently joined that old, grubby gym Heidi used to go to. The woman had only been to the gym once or twice, couldn't fight a lick, when, crossing a dark parking lot, a guy ran at her with his skateboard raised over his head to hit her. The woman jumped into her fighting stance, raised her fists, and said, "Bring it on." The guy ran off.

That attack wasn't victimless; the woman cried as she told the story the next day. But when you hear the stat that three women are killed by their intimate partners every day in the United States, you understand how much worse it could have been. Whether it's a stranger or a partner, no real man hits. Real women have options. One of them is to fight back.

If you or someone you know is the victim of domestic abuse, please call The National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233. 

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Title Boxing Club

Falls Church-area residents can check out the new gym at 450 N. Washington St. Falls Church; others can click here to find a gym near you.

In-Between Tip: On Saturday, Sept. 27, from 2:30-4 p.m. Title Boxing Club Falls Church will host Safety Blueprint, a women's personal safety workshop. Shawn Rafferty, with 20 years of experience in the public and private security sector, will teach women ways to avoid being a victim. Contact the Falls Church club at 703-992-6888 to reserve a spot. The workshop cost is $50 per person.

Off Season Tubing in Harpers Ferry

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Floating down the Potomac River with my butt in a tube and the 85-degree day warming my arms and legs, I had one thing to yell at my husband, who was bumping easily on some light rapids a few yards away with a peaceful smile on his face: "How do you like this for a Monday?"

He'd taken a long weekend to celebrate his birthday, and on this particular beautiful Monday just before Labor Day, my family of four had the whole stretch of the Potomac River near Harpers Ferry, WV to ourselves. For the entire 6-mile, 3-hourish white water tubing ride, the only people we saw were the ones waving at us from atop the pedestrian bridge that crossed the river.

They looked like ants. Little envious ants.

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As summer draws to a close, it would seem wise to put aside such warm-weather activities. But what I learned from that gorgeous Monday white water tubing with the help of the Harpers Ferry Adventure Center is that there is no better time to go than when no one else is going.

"Our motto is, 'If you can think of it, we can make it happen,'" said Chase Gregson, an employee at Harpers Ferry Adventure Center, in reference to the many out-of-the-box adventures they put together for customers. "We've had people go white water rafting or tubing when there was snow on the ground."

Now, for me, that would be pushing it. But Gregson says temperatures at their location -- just west of Loudon County in northeast West Virginia, about an hour drive from the Beltway -- can stay warm until mid-October. Can you imagine bumping along in a tube, the wide expanse of the river all around you, and gazing at all the trees brilliant with oranges and reds and yellows? That's a way to see the fall leaves without the traffic!

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Imagine floating down this river with the hills decked in fall colors.

White water tubing is a way to add a little spark to a tube ride. The tube acts like a bumper to the rock-causing rapids in the Potomac and you generally bounce off the rocks and spin away. The Adventure Center promises Category I-III rapids; on the day we went, we enjoyed bumps and some shoots, but nothing that felt dangerous. The Adventure Center appropriately requires everyone to be 12 and over; between the rapids and still water that requires paddling with your hands, it's easy for large expanses of water to separate various members of your group.

Chase with the Adventure Center offered these additional tips to guarantee a fun, off-season tube ride:

• Bring a wetsuit or rent one from the Adventure Center if you are concerned about the temperature of the water. They also rent splash tops, which are windbreakers that resist water and are not as constrictive as wetsuits.
• Wear close-toed shoes. This area of the Potomac River is actively fished and you wouldn't want your tubing day ruined by a cut foot.
• Call before you come if you're wondering about the conditions. The Adventure Center will not let you out on the river if there is ice flowing or lightening and thunder in the area. If you're already on the water when a storm hits, employees trained in swift water rescue will raft to you and get you out of the water. 
• Come on Monday, Wednesday, Thursday and early Friday if you're looking for a less-crowded experience. The Harpers Ferry Adventure Center is closed on Tuesday.
• The Adventure Center offers many deals after Labor Day. Check online before you go.

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Yay to off-season tubing!!

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Harpers Ferry Adventure Center

37410 Adventure Center Lane Purcellville, VA 20132

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In-Between Tip: Harpers Ferry Adventure Center offers tubing, white water rafting, kayaking, zip lining, horseback riding, Segway tours, hiking expeditions and, come three scary nights in October, a Haunted Hayride and Zipline Tour. What better way to wig you and yours out than by zipping through a West Virginia forest in the dark? 

Terror-Filled Fun in the Trees at Adventure Park

The Adventure Park at Sandy Spring

I was about 20-feet high in the trees at The Adventure Park at Sandy Spring, barely balancing on a wood board shivering beneath my feet, when I remembered, “Oh yeah, I’m terrified of heights.”

This was my family’s fifth or sixth trip to the tree-climbing and zip-lining adventure land in Montgomery County, and we’d ended every trip covered in sweat, showing off some impressive scrapes and bruises, and seriously psyched about our ability to look a leaf-strewn death in the face. Visiting The Adventure Park at Sandy Spring is like being in labor – the end result is so cool you forget about the screaming and crying that preceded it.

The Adventure Park is an elaborate, up-in-the-trees obstacle course. You choose one of the 13 courses (the level of difficulty is marked like ski runs from purple to double-black diamond), and then you work your way along the course by teetering from tree to tree across different challenges or “elements.”

A view of the "elements" at The Adventure Park

Sometimes you’re walking across sturdy boards with a tight, steady rope you can grip for balance. Sometimes you’re on logs swinging beneath you while the grip line sticks out at an awkward angle. Sometimes you zip line across. Sometimes you rope swing across. Sometimes you climb down an endless rope ladder that has you swearing, when you’ve kissed the platform at the bottom, that you will never again skip the arms when you’re at the gym.

None of these elements, the young and impossibly cute staff assures you, will result in your leaf-strewn death. Cinching you into your harness, walking you through a detailed training, and being readily available for the cries of “Staff help!” are all ways this young and impossibly cute (as well as friendly, patient and competent) staff insure your safety.

A staff member demonstrates safety equipment

They also help you believe in the “tweezle.” The safety of this park is dependant on the two locking carabiners on your harness, a “life line” that runs through every course, and the tweezle. The tweezle is a locking mechanism – you lock one of your carabineers onto a course’s life line at the beginning, and you are unable to unlock until the end. This way, should you slip off the insane tightrope that you’re supposed to be walking across, your harness will catch on the life line. Boosting yourself back onto the element is easier with the adrenaline-surge of your heart pounding.

If I can do it, you can do it

So why am I recommending this place so obviously meant for the young and fearless to In-Betweeners? Because, at our age, it’s easy to get too damn comfortable. I’m not presented with many risks anymore. And with two kids and a husband, I’m not interested in truly looking death in the face – ie. skydiving, mountain climbing, jogging. Staring at my feet (never the ground!) at Adventure Park, realizing that I’m actually balancing myself on that tightrope, and conquering an element that I was sure would defeat me leave me feeling exhilarated, powerful and capable.

And the view is fricking gorgeous.

Beginning

You must climb up to this platform to begin every course.

Course difficulty

Adventure Park has a course for all ages and fear levels

Course markings

All courses are clearly marked.

Starting out

What, me worry?

Platforms

Platforms between each element give you a place to have a nice, peaceful heart attack.

Ladders suck

In the trees

Locking

How you use the tweezle to lock your carabiner onto the life line.

Some of the elements...

...A sliding board

...Logs

...A Net

Over and under

Zipline

Most off the courses end with a zip line.

End of the line

Adventure Park staff suggests you run to get a good landing at the end of a zip line.

Beautiful views

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The Adventure Park at Sandy Spring Friends School

 

Cost: $49 for ages 12+

Twilight tickets: $29, Mon-Thurs.; $39, Fri-Sun. (Available 3 hours before closing.)

In Between Tip: The park -- strewn with twinkling white Christmas lights -- is open for night climbing until 8 p.m. Mondays-Thursdays and until 10 p.m. Friday and Saturdays. I imagine it would be really fun with a group of adult friends. I can feel another blog coming on...